Why I Walked Out on Tony Robbins
Last updated on May 19, 2018
After paying $2,000 for a ticket to Unleash the Power Within…
After the 3-hour flight out to California…
After fully committing, with a completely open heart…
I walked out of Tony Robbins' seminar.
In this post, I will share why I went to Tony's event, what it was like, and why I walked out. I will also show you what I did after I left, and what I learned from the whole experience.
If you're skeptical of friends who say, "You have to go see Tony Robbins..."
If you're on the fence about Unleash the Power Within ($2,000) or Date with Destiny ($5,000)...
This article is for you.
| BONUS: Get the checklist to build your own Personal Development Day |
"But doesn't everyone LOVE Tony Robbins' events? Are you just a hater?"
I know the diehard fans -- the self-proclaimed Cult of Robbins who "drink the Kool Aid" -- are already having doubts about this article.
"This guy wasn't truly committed. He didn't do the work, because he was afraid. Now he just wants to act like he's more enlightened than everyone else."
None of that is true.
Here's what you should know about me…
I have a ton of respect for Tony Robbins. I've read (or listened to) several of his books. I'm amazed by what he does (I recently shared how he gets 1 million visitors per month), and wanted to experience his coaching in person. A lot of my friends are big TR fans, and they all gave strong endorsements for UPW.
I'm not "better than you" for walking out. I'm not writing this because I'm a sophisticated aristocrat who turns his nose up at self-help groups. At many points in my life, I've been a total mess. I've written about depression and addiction. I wrote about the most embarrassing and painful period of my life (then I published a book about it).
I put in the work. I've had a ton of failures, and a few huge successes, because I'm constantly trying new things. Like how I built an 8-figure business. Or how I intentionally gained 40 pounds in 2015, then got into the best shape of my life in 2016. It wasn't easy to eat so much food, or to go to the gym every week, but I put in the effort to reach my goals. (You can read more about my goals in 2015).
I've read hundreds of books and taken action, because I am 100% in on improving myself. (Here are 18 books that changed my life). I've also publicly documented my self-improvement journey for the last 15 YEARS. If that's not "doing the homework," I don't know what is.
I've attended a lot of paid seminars before, and loved them. A few events that changed my life were Gayle Hendricks' Big Leap event and David Deida's workshop. Both were three days long, 5–8 hours per day. I didn't even consider walking out of either. I've even hosted my own seminars! Last September, my company AppSumo hosted our second annual conference, with over 200 attendees. I'm astonished Tony hosts events for 10,000 people at a time.
SumoCon 2016
This article isn't "fear driven." I committed to the event for seven hours. The only thing I was afraid of was wasting more time. Besides, I believe in helping people overcome their biggest fears -- like talking to strangers, or starting a company. Here's a speech I gave about overcoming fear:
Finally, Tony Robbins is one of my customers. In addition to Appsumo, I run a sister company called Sumo. Tony's team uses our products. Do you really think I'm dumb enough to bash one of my highest profile customers? Hell no. This article is written with love.
In other words…
I'm not hating on Tony Robbins, or people who love his events.
I'm just defending a viewpoint few people ever bring up in public: the negative experience.
Most people are hesitant to talk about experiences that make us sound foolish. We diminish our losses, we downplay the bad stuff -- especially if it goes against the crowd.
Think of Vegas.
Hardly anyone says, "I lost $2,000. It was a waste of time and money."
We always say, "It was fun! Almost broke-even. Hashtag WORTH IT."
For me, UPW wasn't worth it.
My Experience at "Unleash The Power Within"
In the days that lead up to the event, I felt nervous. The discomfort was reassuring.
I'm going in the right direction.
The two areas of my life I most wanted to tackle during the event were:
- How to better position myself to be in great relationships.
- How to create a work environment that continually motivates and excites me.
Before the seminar began, I had a chance to talk with my neighbors. One was a recovering Jehovah's witness. The other was transitioning jobs in Los Angeles. We had a nice discussion about why we were there, what our struggles were, and what we hoped to get out of the seminar.
Then, Tony came out on stage.
Tony's presentation skills were incredible. The guy has been doing this for 30 years, so I expected him to be good. He was great.
Some of the things Tony did really well:
- He encouraged us to meet our neighbors and keep each other excited.
- He kept participation super high. He continually asked everyone to raise their hand and say "I" if they agreed. He also let the audience finish a lot of his sentences ("The truth will set you ____").
- He challenged us: "I'll deliver but you have to promise to commit. If you sit down during the dancing, then you aren't committed, and you aren't going to get what you came for. Play full out with me."
- He repeated things over and over to drive points home and increase retention. He also backed up his claims with statistics.
- He told great stories and incorporated a lot of humor.
Of course, there were some things he did NOT do so well…
- At times, he was all over the place. "Let's work on what you're afraid of… Now let's talk about how to get anything you want… Focus, mean it, do it!"
- There was conflict of interest. There's a day where we talk about health and nutrition... and then he sells supplements. Tony also mentions his other events, and encourages you to sign up for more seminars during the middle of UPW.
- He name-dropped and bragged constantly. Credibility markers are essential for a presenter to be taken seriously -- especially with an audience of 10,000 people. And we all know Tony has done some amazing things. But the number of times he mentioned his relationships with presidents, celebrities, and business people was overkill. We get it — you have a private jet.
- Finally, Tony has the weirdest clap I've ever seen.
In the first few hours of the seminar, we danced (a lot), massaged our neighbors, fanned our neighbors, did aerobic exercises, pumped our fists, watched Tony run through the audience like some idol, and other ra-ra tactics.
Still, these were minor annoyances. Those come with any event. None were deal-breakers.
But as the day unfolded, I began to question whether this seminar was a good use of my time.
Tony called on people in the front row and recited their names. Which made it seem like he knew everyone in the audience, though I'm sure they were his VIP ($75K per year) customers.
He called on John.
"What's your issue, John?"
John wasn't loved.
Here was Tony's response:
- Everyone in the crowd faces that issue.
- John should come up with a new name. "Edward."
- "Edward" walk towards Tony like a bad-ass.
- Tell Tony you are unleashed (basically).
- Everyone in the audience say "I love you, John."
Problem solved.
Of course, no one expected Tony to solve John's emotional issues with some light role-play and applause. The whole sequence was superficial (and entertaining).
Still, John clearly has deeper issues around his family. He wasn't loved enough.
What then?
I wanted John and Tony to go deep.
I wanted to go deep.
I wanted to do the hard work we needed to do.
Then we had to massage our neighbors. Again.
Okay, I understand we need to break through social discomfort and energize ourselves, but I don't enjoy random dudes touching me.
Hour 7…
I looked at the agenda for the next three days.
Nutrition. Interesting.
Then booklet work.
For two days.
I looked back over my notes.
Sure, there were some great takeaways, like...
Dedicate time every week to work on yourself. Reflect upon whether you are growing, and making progress.
What are you scared of right now? How can you move towards that? Discomfort is your growth!
Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure.
Look at things from appreciation and gratitude. Instead of complaining about traffic, appreciate that we have cars to get us to places faster.
Modeling is valuable. Study and replicate the people that have already figured out what you want to do.
What's a goal that excites you? What goal would genuinely energize you immediately?
What distractions are holding you back from your goals? Remove them.
These are his quotes I turned into instagram memes.
"No growth in comfort."
"Success is how much uncertainty you can deal with."
"Your worst day can be your best day"
"Complexity is the enemy of execution."
"Have hunger that's insatiable, always expanding."
It finally hit me. Dread.
I was officially dreading the rest of the seminar.
To stay for three full days felt like a self-imposed prison, rather than an opportunity to genuinely grow.
I thought about what I most wanted to get out of my time, and whether this event was the best use of it. I decided it would be better for me to work on my specific issues, one-on-one with a friend.
So, I walked out.
Did I feel embarrassed? Yes.
Did I feel disappointed? Yes.
But what I really felt, more than anything else…
Empowered.
Empowered to make choices about what I want, and empowered to turn down the things I don't.
What I Did After I Left
Rather than fly home, I planned a "Personal Development Day." Here's what I did the following day:
- Drank coffee
- Went on a 3-hour hike to discuss personal and professional growth with a friend
- 90-minute personal development discussion (recorded on video)
- Ate a healthy lunch
- Reviewed some of Tony's other materials
- Read a book
- 60-minute discussion with my mastermind group, where I shared some of my biggest issues
- Got a massage
- Sushi dinner
| Get my Personal Development Day checklist |
This may have been the best part about Tony's personal development seminar -- it forced me to create my own.
Final Thoughts
Tony has great intentions, a strong presence, and it's clear most of his attendees feel the event is worth the investment. I am in the minority, who asked for a refund.
For many of his attendees, it seems there are deep-seated issues with a lack of love, and the belief that they are not enough.
If you struggle with those issues, then Tony's seminars might change your life.
For a few days, you will feel loved.
For a few days, you will feel like you are enough.
That's intoxicating, and many attendees (understandably) go back for more.
For my friends, the seminar was overwhelmingly positive and deeply moving. For me, it felt superficial and cheesy.
I don't plan on attending another Tony Robbins' event. But I would, if his team made a few big changes:
- More time to talk with the people around us. The most valuable time, for me, was when we shared our lives with each other. We all attended for personal development, and we all faced similar challenges. Bonding over common ground was great, and I wish there was more time dedicated to it.
- Shorten the seminar to just ONE day. Less dancing, less hoopla, less fluff... Just get to the meat. We wouldn't need to be "awakened" every 20 minutes if the event didn't take so long. (Then again, maybe it's dragged out to create the sense that we got our money's worth.)
- Focus. The seminar felt too general. I know it's impossible to custom-tailor an event for 10,000 people, but more specific topics would have helped.
My good friend Tynan said it best:
"If you never quit, you probably aren't trying enough new things."
I don't regret attending Tony's seminar.
Nor do I regret walking out.
994 responses to “Why I Walked Out on Tony Robbins”
The 'motivantional' movement basically makes money selling seminars, courses, books etc. There are examples of people who have been inspired by these guys but most successful people have never spent a penny attending any seminars or courses.....
It seems like, perhaps all of those self-help seminars you attended in the past; as well as all the books you read, finally culminated into your own self-actualization. In that moment when you decided to walk out on Tony, you become living proof that it all works and that he was successful. You may be right about Mr. Robbins being, from what I take, a fraud. I suppose you could say the same about the Catholic Church, but when it comes down to it, behind the money and the hoopla, they truly do want to help people.... and that's exactly what he did for you. As Tony says "even your worst day can be your best day." Congratulations on leveling up in life.
Why would you give this idiot 2,000$ He lives in the stratosphere of his own mind. He wouldn't pull you out of a mud hole. Read the Greek philosophers. These modern day gurus take advantage of the fact that no one does, thus, they, like Robbins can present themselves as original and unique. I have found that so-called inspirational, motivational speakers sound no different than Joel Osteen, and often like tarot card readers. I am not impressed with this man. Problem is people impress so easily. No matter how sophisticated or educated they may think themselves to be.
I have read Tony Robbin’s books, done Tony Robbins coaching and attended Unleash the Power Within. That seminar I got a lot out of regarding my personal life.
I did buy a Diamond Level ticket to Business Mastery for $11,000 - which I walked out of at the end of Day 1. Most of the people I met were desperate and failing small business owners looking for answers. Tony’s suggested ways to grow businesses bigger, strategies aimed at corporate structuring, and general big-business advice seemed tone deaf.
In one instance, he was discussing guarantees - What are you willing to do if your business does not deliver on the service promise to the client? He pulled a woman from the crowd- she said her business was coaching single mothers on how to be more effective with their time. She was scattered, rambling and it didn’t seem like she actually had a business - more like an idea for a business. He coached her to finding a guarantee: that she would send her client and their kids on an all expense paid trip to Disney if she didn’t deliver. Tony didn’t address the asinine premise of telling single mothers that they’re doing it wrong, and that financial priorities might not align for her target demographic to find value in her services.
I waited till the end of the day, went through every exercise and still didn’t see the value. I walked out and asked for a refund. There was an attempt on the part of the organizers to persuade me to stay - that maybe all I needed was more coaching. That may be true but certainly not from them. I did get a refund and spent the next 5 days exploring the phenomenal art scene in Las Vegas.
You preemptively denied the possibility that you weren’t committed enough, but then later you fully admit you were pretty annoyed by the interaction exercises. Are you aware of this inconsistency in your article?
There's a difference in actually following through with the exercises (actually doing the back massages) and being annoyed with it. You can go to a gym and be committed at building your body, but still get annoyed when the trainer keeps asking you if you want supplements.
Yeah never trust a guy with teeth bleached three shades too white.
Well said! Agreed! I feel most of the self-development gurus haven't achieved anything great in their life(except for their talking). They just teach the same kinds of stuff again and again and they charge a lot of money for saying the same.
I remember buying a course of his year's ago....and felt like I got ripped off.Tony made his money by telling people how to make money....same tactics name dropping and whatever....he gives bits and pieces from other self help books lol....what really turned me off is when he got to the point of using fluent profanity....I felt disrespected ....it just does not reflect on the model of a real successful person.i feel he did read all those self help books....and combined them into a new format with different wording.i realised...he's like a guy who encouraged us to go find gold in them hills ....but meanwhile instead of mining himself..... he's selling us the shovels and supplies to mine.....I cringe when I think about the money I spent on him.....wise choice....I made it years ago however I'm on to his game and he won't get my cash again !!!
It’s always amazing when people think they can correlate cursing with success in life. A history lesson is in order.
Agree with you!
Tony Robbins is a great salesman. That’s all there is. Reminds me of the EST movement 1960s and 70’s
I’ve watched Tony from time to time over the years. However is it all real.? Does he have plants at the event? Seems he is profiting on people’s negative emotions. Are any there any success stories shared from those that attend other than Sol. I’ve found deeper meaning talk with friends and reading books which are a lot cheaper. FYI I’m not making accusations, I’m just having questions.
1 - you didn't get the point of the seminar.
2 - you are a quitter, in this context. You have severe problems of Anxiety.
3 - I bet you quit school or did it by obligation and as a torture.
4 - When you are presented with something in the universe what matter most is what you generate. Education is not a package delivered by TR to you but what you generate inside yourself.
My Two Cents
It sounds like you thought way too much about this, haha. If you would have just jumped in w/o so much judgement and gave it %100 in the moment for those 3 days you probably would have got more out of it and had the stamina to stay and not needed to walk out? Why not? You paid 2k and flew to Ca...just finish the thing. Or if you think you already had shit figured out and were familiar with his strategies etc. Why go? I personally don't like how his events have grown to 10k people filling arenas. I first went to one of his events when I was 12, 25 years ago. I was much more open minded as a kid, obviously... there were less that 3k people there, maybe like 2500. Tony held my hand during a real emotional moment for me. I definitely "drank the kool aid" with the supervision of my Dad but it helped me. He helped me a lot actually. I went again later in life and had a whole new perspective on it, still positive. I just took the things that resonated and worked for me and left the rest. If I had some cash to blow i'd probably give his wealth mastery or date w/ destiny events a shot.
I agree completely with your statement here.
Ty for your well stated read!
just go to church and it's free lol
Amen! I watched one of his videos because a family member found him fantastic. My response to my family member was that I can definitely see how people find him uplifting and encouraging. But to charge 5000 bucks a person to get into a seminar is ridiculous. I can go to Church for free and be uplifted and encouraged and learn more than I learned in that video she had me watch. Plus, his language was awful! I don't need someone screaming profanity in my face to get me to have a wake up call. Again, some people are ok with that and find him great. I guess my thought is if he truly wanted to reach people who need help, etc., why charge such an astronomical fee to go see him. Oh well, to each their own.
At some point, I ask about fulfillment of purpose, which I believe Tony is living his. And when is enough enough. By this I mean, he has made enough resources to last himself and his family more than a life time. I’d like to see him grow his capacity and his impact by extending himself to offer his gifts of facilitating personal growth and healing in service of those from marginalized populations/targets of systemic oppression. For example, 10% of every seminar includes people without the means who have put their skin in the game through an application process and are granted entry including support for travel and lodging. Or to run one of every ten seminars exclusively in service of populations who are targets of systemic oppression. This would provide Tony the opportunity to expand and grow his cultural awareness and gain insight into his own implicit bias conditioned by dominate culture. Because as he knows, growth is life, so try something different/new with humility and depth. This can touch his soul in unimaginable ways.
On top of the cost for event you have to pay for transportation and hotel stay?
Really Good Stuff, The main thing is people have their different needs to be spoken to (or interacted with) learn to speak their language and you are golden, you and I are a meat and potatoes, get to the point. there is a gaggle of people that are so in need of the fluff... I call them the mainstream, buy whats cool even if it sucks, shop at Walmart even if you don't get a cheap price and get crap quality.... you get the point.
at 53, I'm looking at retiring doing what I love, quitting my great job that hates me and has a blatant disregard for me, my family and my time .. and I'm scared as hell gambling this late in the game but it is going to fulfill me ... I hope
I am about to go to his event in Vegas August 15th. I am not a superficial person either. This event is for business owners and I am going not to build my confidence to cheer with a group of business leader but rather to get to know them as connections in the business world.
cool, I love it!
Dear Noah, being quite a fan of Tony Robbin's approach (and having loved to watch his video "I am not your guru") I was looking for an opposite voice on the web, someone being sceptical. I was very glad to have found your post and can really relate to it. Thanks for sharing your critical opinion, I find it highly precious!
PS: A quote by Mark Twain I like a lot (valueing your single critical voice in an ocean of That-is-great-staters for Robbins): "Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."
😉
Kind regards from Berlin, Matthias
Exactly the same for me. Great article.
If it talks like a cult and walks like a cult, it's probably a cult.
Never Truer words written...
In some way, everything is a cult. From the Politics we support to the sports we enjoy - anything we believe in and invest our time and energy into can technically be called a cult, its just easier to point at groups when we are on the outside of the group.
TR is a smart businessman preying on those who aren't strong enough to stand on their own 2 feet but its also a decision a person makes to give him their money. At the end of the day, until we deal with what is on the inside of us that makes us feel unworthy to be who we truly are, people like TR will continue to prey on our vulnerabilities.
One thing I see recurring in the comments is an aversion to "fluff", how the content of an entire 3 day seminar could be condensed down into a short book that you could buy on Amazon and read in half a day. Maybe true, but would you read it and then actually apply it? Some would, most would not, at least not to the absolute best of their ability. Which is why Tony provides what he calls immersion, where you're in the environment for an extended period of time, you'll get tired, your focus will wander, but if you suck it up and do what's necessary to work the processes anyway, along with a whole room full of people who are doing the same thing, you will benefit more and might just create lasting change. By removing yourself from your day to day life for a period of time to focus on yourself and your own development, you're investing in yourself and your future, and it takes that level of commitment to create that lasting change. It's a concept Tony believes in, and so do I since it worked for me.
Now I've met Tony several times and I can confirm that he does exhibit narcissistic traits, how couldn't he, his name is in huge letters on all of the materials and around the venues, and the salesy stuff in the middle of the seminar can be off-putting. And Tony is extremely good at what we does, a master of human psychology, and highly charismatic and courageous. I took the stance of take what you need and leave the rest, and I took a great deal, far more valuable than what I paid, not that that mattered to me. Not everyone will have that experience, and he does give you your money back if you want.
Forget to mention, I love these little tacos in your articles...
Thank you so much for sharing this. I think this is a really insightful article - for yourself and others. Of course, it is not really possible to go deep with a 10k people crowd. Thinking Tony would do real therapeutic work is just nonsense. What he does is just a temporary change (which of course can be needed for healing!).
Thank you!!
Solid review. I agree with you completely. Tony is not a charlatan; people definitely find self improvement in his work. I personally don't get "high" off of those types of seminars. I'm smarter than that. What I mean is I can see fluff and hoopla from a mile away and I don't appreciate it, nor do I want to waste my time and money on it. I need substance and tangible content. Getting a massage from my neighbor, dancing around, and fist pumping does nothing for me 24 hours later. Thanks for you well written, organized, and concise review.
I believe you were bigger than the seminar and that’s why you left. It happens with me also, if you already know something keep moving forward
Good for you. People that think they can sum up someone else’s relationship or life history in minutes are being insensitive, insincere and cruel. No one is able to know this person’s heart or pain except God, and Tony is not God. In fact, from what I’m reading, his insensitive, sarcastic and humiliating behavior with people isn’t God-like at all. My personal feeling is that he would test pretty high on the narcissist scale, and in some cases, his approach may do more harm than good.
He's the pie in the sky. Champagne dreams selling fake dreams.
Right on! You *got* it.
I never understood the adulation for Tony to be honest. I always felt like his followers were like Scientologists, desperate to be told they are 'somebody '.
I enjoyed reading your article , nicely written .
I'm so glad to read this review. Really qualified feedback. Thank you!
Just here to say that, while I rarely read an entire article as long a this one, I thoroughly enjoyed reading yours and enjoyed the structure you used!
I would go a step further. The issues people face are typically deep seated and emotional. These issues typically require a transformation of mindset. This is the hard work. Tony’s seminars are temporary relief from existential pain. If attendees are not careful. The post tony high can lead to a much lower low. If you attend enough events with out results you lose credibility with yourself. This for many is their life enhancement journey. They are worse off. Tony is great but not the answer.
People were saying they were putting the next seminar on their credit cards, and were being told it will return itself. It was terrible advice. clearly not acting on peoples best interest, and the supplements also left a bad taste. They are not high quality or even necessary, just another scam.
I cringed from the beginning to UPW. It was colossal- I got a free ticket (and it seems a lot of people do). It was forced fun - like those awful preteen dances, anyway, awkard. Everyone was pumped woop woop. I tried, but it all seemed like none of this stuff was new, like i'd heard it before, like a patch work of advice, from Jesus, to Buddha to Oprah. The love bombing, the hype, we had 2 hours of pre Tony just to dance. There was too much fluff. I am a massage therapist and having to give massages and then get crap ones back annoyed me, and the sheep mentality of fire walking! He runs on volunteers, it costs a lot, and the delivery was so forceful and repetitive. It was very American. Then TR told everybody to get rid of their limiting belief/shit/I don't know... well the whole arena started crying. I had to climb out from the front of a crying room to get out, over chairs, weaving, I felt surrounded by souls in hell, I got out and power walked to a cafe, and was followed, by a volunteer. Who was nice, but it all felt a bit..... controlled. And the volunteer told me how TR wife was controlling him etc, and that he is unhappy. And I thought I know this is smoke and mirrors, screw it. And the nutrition day was good for someone thats had their head in a hamburger, but it's nothing new. It is a cult...... After the UPW facebook group I have been invited to was amusing, people using TR terms 'priming, limiting beliefs..' I kept getting friend requests which I felt hesitant about. I mentioned this in the group, asking women if men were requesting them, and then I was trolled. And I thought- you guys are actually horrid- I felt threatened, and after all the love bombing the farce was obvious. There will be another, he is the Billy Graham of his generation. I would say if you need help for business go to a business advisor, if it's health go to a health coach, you want . to get rid of limiting beliefs go to a therapy group or if you can invest it, pay for psychotherapy. But hats off to the business model. In essence I felt uncomfortable and forced.
Well, recognize Robbins for what he is, a very good salesman. In our country good salesmen do very well financially. Example, Elvis Presley's manager, Tom Parker sold the South on Hadacol, a fake brew that was about 30% alcohol. Of course people felt better---for a short while. Robbins' brew works well----for him. He's a millionaire. Not so for the people who pay up.
D.G. Cannon, Ph.D.
I attended Mindvalley and have similar experiences to these mentioned here.
Hi, I am not sure how I came upon your article. Just one of those flukes of the internet. I am 66 years old and was a big fan of Tony Robbins back in the early 90's. But now at the age of 66 I find a lot of his answers to be cotton candy in comparison to the rich food in psychotherapy and psychiatric therapy. If you have a profound sense of low self-esteem, the answer is not to attend a 3 day pep rally for a temporary high. Perhaps you need to see a recommended therapist who can do the HARD WORK with you of digging into the origins of that issue and bringing to light the unconscious beliefs and programming behind your issue. Glib slogans will not heal your life. And bear in mind, LIFE IS NOT EASY. Too many people have serious problems and think that a 3 day whoop and holler festival with a life coach will resolve these issues. It just ain't going to happen. Most of the participants in such events are young and eager for perfection in their lives. As an old man, I can tell you that it takes time and effort, often a lot of effort. Even if a session with a professionally trained and accredited therapist costs $400 a week that gives you 5 weeks of intense work specifically on YOU versus 3 days as part of a 10,000 pep rally.
Solid Read.
Sounds like you had no business being there? Sounds like you went looking for the secret to hit the next level but didn't realize Tony is a catalyst for the weary? Much like the "revival" or "retreat" some people really need encouragement, or really need someone to stop sugar coating it and be real with them.
I think the guy serves a pretty powerful purpose at a time when someone needs a "cheesy, pick me up, I'm with TONY ROBBINS, important feeling." For those that are extremely capable or lack direction.... he might not be the best.
The guy is making a lot of money, but if someone is on ground zero.... the first step in happiness has to be removing limiting belief. 3000 bucks really isn't that much at that point? I have seen people buy cars, or houses to "perk" themselves up!!!
I guess I think Tony does a great job for the people that need Tony Robbins.
In short - Michael Jordan may not get that extra bit of ferocity from him but a 30 something living at his parents house... Might.
I followed a similar path, we may have been in some of the same Tony events, and I agree with you. One piece I'd add you may agree with that is my experiences with Tony were the start of my own exploration of myself, the beginning of my growth, and they were profound at the time; it doesn't need to be a choice, it can be a progression from Tony to things deeper.
I love that you made a decisionfir yourself. While it's cool people have their platform, there's more than one way to do a thing. We can't be afraid to walk or own path away from the hooplah!
After having kind of walked out on a netflix documentary of Tony Robbins ‘ I am not your Guru, I am relieved to read your article and know that I am not alone ! Thank you!
ditto
I respect your decision to walk out. I would have done the same thing, given those circumstances.
Thank you for the post it also think he seems "out of touch" with issues too. I never hear him talking about his personal issues and how he grinded his way to the top. Just some generic if you're scared face your fears. (I didn't know you made AppSumo, made a shopify account and saw that app. That's pretty dope)
I thought upon watching I’m Not your guru that the seminar was highly manipulative and mean spirited. Having a woman call her boyfriend to break up in front in millions of people was for me the height of narcissism
Some of the empowering stuff was good, realizing that the bad in your background is what makes you successful today. but I am not sure Robbins is as sincere as he is a cult leader making money.
Awesome! Way to be unapologetic, and to take care of you. I love that you shared your minority view--there's not enough of that anymore. What I love most that you shared was that you listened to your gut. Your gut said "dread--don't do it" and you listened. People don't do that enough. As a wise Jedi once said, "Trust your feelings..."
Thank you for this honest and educational recounting
I have never been to one, nor do I plan on going. I am guessing you hit the nail on the head when you said this "For a few days, you will feel loved.
For a few days, you will feel like you are enough."
Tony's ego is just a bit too big for me. No, it is WAY too big for me.
many of you won't want to hear this, but the only thing that will sustain you is God.
Looks like If you never went to the Tony Robbins event, you would have never came upon this realization. Which means....TONY ROBBINS HELPED YOU!!!
yes he did say "This may have been the best part about Tony's personal development seminar -- it forced me to create my own."
duh.
I went to his event just yesterday...and felt the same way. I kept thinking...when is it going to get real? When are we going to get to the work? I got tired of clapping and yelling and watching Tony act like a rock star... And I felt like the oddball...cause so many people were into it. I kept checking with myself, I kept trying. But it just wasn't my style. My husband says I am the hardest working person he knows, so I was wondering why I felt ashamed for just wanting to sit and learn. Oh well, to each his (or her) own.
Did you get a full refund?
Great article and it's great and refreshing to read some negativity.
I attended both UPW and Business mastery so I know what it is all about.
Few points.
1. It' is too long and I agree that everything over day 2 is usually a salespitches from 3rd party speakers and can be avoided. I am not used sitting so long and finding non-junk food was really hard on the stadium, I went out to Starbucks and enjoyed some sun.
2. It is life changing and Tony is amazing force of nature. Seeing him on stage is life changing for sure. He was on stage for over 14 hours, no toilet breaks no water breaks, he must be a robot.
Name dropping? I did not feel like it it, those were awesome life stories from high profile people and it's always fun to learn.
Weird clap? It looks energizing to me..
Supplements? He must make money after all, if people buy them why not? I bought as well to support the cause. Nobody was pushing them too hard anyways.
3. I did not go to firewalk and I felt ashamed as everyone was pushing it hard but I dont regret as it's my choice. I just went to hotel to sleep.
4. Massage and dancing is a big part of staying "awake". It's not possible to sit so long without action and loud music and dances makes it look like a rock concert and brings up the energy. I do not agree that it's a fluff and waste of time. In many cases it takes you out of your comfort zone and keeps your mind open.
5. More of "Personal coaching" on stage? I don't agree here. On business mastery Tony did one personal coaching with a lady in front of everyone and it took almost 2-3 hours. Though it was helpful to her, for others who did not have similar issues it was a drain.
6. Does the effect last? No. That's why you need more seminars and they will upsell them, for sure. That is a normal business practice and I did not feel much of the pushing. Normally effect goes away in a week or so, as regular life consumes you and puts you back but the lessons you learn stay in your heart anyways for your lifetime so you can come back to them during the hard moment.
Bottom line? Was it easy? No. Is it worth it? 100%!
Go with an open mind! Walk out but dont go home giving up and finding excuses. Go to Starbucks, enjoy some sun and come back 2 hours later to continue the learning! Also listen to his podcast, great golden nuggets there...
I would add that best is to compare any "self improvement" seminar with a shower. Does the shower last? Not really. But it does not mean that you don't need it. And you do need it again to "shower" with fresh energy once in a while!
I agree- Tony is a force of nature, and the money I spent on UPW, Date with Destiny, his health seminar were well spent. I learned many valuable things which contribute to my happiness still - 15 years later. He is an extremely talented and hard working man. Combination drill sergeant, stand up comedian, master psychologist, stage hypnotist, charismatic speaker - and of course salesman, and entrepreneur. Not for everybody of course, that goes without saying. He’s not God, not a guru, but he’s got a lot to give and he’s giving it. God bless him.
Just watched a film featuring T. Robbins and C. Madanes as the narrator. It was filming Tony at one of his events on 9/11/2001 in HA. It was both fascinating and disturbing all at the same time. I felt like I had seen some sort of cultist event and/or leader. I've never read on of Tony R's books. My brother gave me a tape years ago of the "Giant Within". I listened to it and found it wasn't that interesting or helpful to me. I was curious about him so looked him up online to see what people were saying about him.
Completely agree!
I love inspirational speakers, but he’s a little too much.
I have listened to him & probably won’t need to ever again.
I missed female speakers and i agree with some things u r saying. I missed interviewing people about their stories. I was on a high for one week and now it drops which is scary and i get lots of mails and phonecalls to sign up for the next events, fear is involved ... but i love him, i admire him. At the end of the day ... i am alone with this feeling and back into my life and routine. And my body is still soooo tired.
I haven’t been to a seminar, but I have heard loads of his stuff on YouTube. I like it, it helps me. The problem that I see with a lot of people in this post is you think he is supposed to be “a perfect man”, “Jesus”, persay. Tony is just a guide to help you, fulfill your life, but at the end of the day only YOU can do such a thing. He is not a god. He is a human being. None of us are perfect. It may help Tony’s credibility if he spent more time relating to people’s lives through love and compassion instead of telling them “this way or that way.” Maybe the money, or busy life he has has gotten to his head. But I do believe his intentions are pure and good, or he wouldn’t be doing it in the first place unless he’s hypothetically obsessed with money and learned psychology and human behavior for that reason. But I just don’t believe humans are designed to do such a thing and if that was the case he’s probably miserable or will at least die a miserable death. Not that I wish that upon him in anyway. At the end of the day it only matters how you feel and if you are happy not Tony Robbins. Do what makes you happy and fulfilled.
Now I know why Tony has so many companies. He gets his audience to experience 3 days of uplifting mantra then... Boom sell to them.
Last day at UPW 2018 was overselling. Left early.
I really appreciate your honesty. I'm at an UPW event in London, and I'm ready to walk out as well on day three. I think everything could have been compressed I to 2 days and 16 hours max. The firewall was fun, even though I did get burned, but I'm not the type of person who is ready to share his *true* deepest fears shortcomings and failures with random people around me, even if they are all wonderful. There is WAY too much selling during the seminars. WTF do you mean that "the next step" is for me to attend business mastery?? Shouldn't my next step be to employ what i just learned here and change my life forever??? I
I’m at the same event right now and am SO disappointed by the event! Tempted not to go in tomorrow, but then again that would leave me worried about having wasted so much money.. 🙁
Igor you're not alone. I walked out at 2PM on the 3rd day. Some really good stuff coupled with some stuff I didn't like...
* really terrible/dangerous advice (like turning shoulds into musts)
* pseudoscience (Kirlian photography)
* inaccurate stories (Robin Williams didn't kill himself because of depression, he had Lewy Body Dementia)
* terrible pitches (the bald guy who showed photos of his Ferrari was hilarious - but of course, it's not money that matters).
* and a very cult-ish overall experience.
I didn't want to wait another day to listen to nutrition advice from someone who's recovering from someone recovering from self-inflicted mercury poisoning. I love some of what Tony preaches, but he's a fine example of "often wrong, never in doubt".
Overall, a useful experience. I'm in marketing, I love to see how these tactics really do control the crowds and turn people into raving fans. I believe most people will get out of this feeling they got the experience of a lifetime.
Turning shoulds into musts is sound advice. It's not a concept that is exclusive to TR either. Folks like Stephen Covey and Brian Tracy also speak to this concept. As an executive who focuses on change management, I can tell you that this is not terrible/dangerous advice.
I've heard TR tell the Robin Williams story many times. He speaks to Robin's overall drug use and self depreciation. The moral of the story is that Robin had mastered the science of achievement, but not the art of fulfillment. Robin's wife has been quoted as saying that the reason he committed suicide is because he was losing his mind and he knew it. It was not the disease that killed him; he committed suicide because he was depressed.
I can appreciate constructive criticism, but some of the reasons you listed are baseless.
I recommend you read what Albert Ellis, one of the fathers of modern psychology has to say about "must-urbation", and the toxic power of "musts". I trust him more than I trust Covey / Tracy.
As for Robin Williams, the message was not about how he lived, but about his suicide. Was he depressed about the disease? Maybe - but I didn't hear Tony mention that. Doesn't have quite the same power, does it?
completely agree!!!!
I have just an hour ago been walking out of a UPW in London with 13,000 people. I really enjoy sitting outside in the sun, not having to dance and shout and jump anymore... they are preparing the firewalk a few meters away for tonight. I'm so happy having found your article while sitting here! I'm not the strange one! Think I will not go in again and give it a second try. And I will skip the firewalk... But I'm sure I will now have 3 spare sunny days to enjoy London - while my husband goes on with the "training". Best decision! 🙂
Tnks 4 sharing!! Just came out from a JTFoxx free seminar and I just felt wasting my time. Same same but different.
I love Tony Robbins. He has enlightened me many times and challenges me to grow and be the best version of myself. You do make some valid points and I enjoyed this article. Looking forward to your ideas and thoughts in the future and maybe we can grow together.
Thank you for posting this. I found it by Googling, and up popped the link to your site. Now I know I am by no means the only one. I see him as one more proof that showmanship which combines condescension with flattery can yield a gusher of fortune -- for the showman. You and I differ on one point, though: I find his whole exploitive act dispicable.
I couldn't agree more with Kenneth.
Agreed - complete waste of money and time; over promises and under delivers
You don’t get to stay for part of a day and comment on the whole thing needing to be shorter and needing more focus. You speak from ignorance.
actually, the seminar got him to get up and take action, so it was empowering
have you read the entire article? Obviously this author is not ignorant. ...and he didnt walk out and started doing productive things because of the seminar. He walked out and started doing productive things in spite of the seminar....
He does have a very weird clap.
I'm an Aussie, so the 'ra ra' factor is difficult for me to swallow x 10,000 to what someone from Tony's part of the world may even struggle with. I haven't actually been to one his events for many years, but assuming they're still the same, I might make the following observations. Firstly, I'm always uncomfortable at the start and feel like walking out. Dealing with that discomfort rather than walking out and feeling empowered, is part of my process. It's how I learned stuff I wouldn't have otherwise. Some of which was valuable, some less so. I guess you'll never know what you missed out. I hope it was a really good coffee and healthy lunch you had instead.
Giving a summary on what people may or may not lie about the seminar you didn't actually stay at is probably quite a big call, on't you think? I could probably review the last Foo Fighters concert I didn't go to, but that wouldn't make much sense because, ah, I wasn't there. So by all means explain why you left, and what you thought of it BEFORE you left, you know, while you were actually still there, but quite how you get to say what Tony's seminars might do for people and what they should do differently based on the bit of one you saw just seems illogical to me. I really don't understand it all. And no, i'm not someone who puts him on a pedestal - i don't love everything he does, especially all that bloody hugging and singing and dancing. But at least I stayed til the end. Several times. So I can probably comment more accurately than someone who didn't. Anyway... just sharing my thought. Shall we hug now? 😉
Big Hug too... indeed, you have to get out out of your comfort zone, accept it and sometimes 'sit it out' and then inevitably SOME rare insight or decision will come.
Hope they all enjoyed their lattes and sunbathing ;-))
My long-time girlfriend is heavily involved in the TR organization....as a volunteer. I went to UPW in LA 3 years ago(I had to pay of course). And because she wasn't volunteering at this particular date, she had to pay also. About three grand for both of us, plus airfare. My GF believes in it, and it's become more of a social thing for her. Me? I didn't get much out of it.
And to be honest, $4000+ (total) could go towards real education, not some culty stuff, like walking on coals and "visualizing" fortunes and fame.
My biggest problem with Tony Robbins is that 90% of the general staff are volunteers. UPW and Date with Destiny (and most other events)are not free charity events. He is NOT a non-profit(most of the time). He's making millions at these events. And the two mentioned are just the beginning. It's a rabbit hole. His exploitation of volunteers is like Home Depot or Walmart using volunteers. It just wouldn't happen. The fact that so many people do end up volunteering after going to a few events, leads me to believe there is a underlying cult effect. It may not be as evil and undermining as Scientology, but...It's definitely cultish. Oddly, there are no perks to volunteering. You pay your own airfare, no free tickets to other events, programs or books. Most volunteers love him unconditionally, yet have never even met the man in person. He makes no effort to know who his legions of volunteers are.
I know the above article was written from a consumer point of view. But it's pretty slimy behind the curtain too.
Anybody considering spending money on this, throw that money at education instead. Some night school or something. Want to feel better about yourself or feel loved? Join a gym or a like-minded church, donate time at a animal shelter or soup kitchen. They really need your help. You can feel like a million bucks, without spending a dime. Don't join a cult.
The volunteers are just that--exercising their free will. Did you talk to any of them? Some of them gain just from being there. Some are wealthy and want to give back Where does it say that Tony Robbins has to be Obama?
Clap, clap!!
true!!!
I have been crewing... and I do not think this is a cult. There are indeed wealthy people that do it as a sign of their gratitude, and you meet amazing people. But a lot of the volunteers do not have the money for the actual event, and so can enjoy some parts of it.
I do not crew anymore as I do agree that a most profitable multi million project should at least pay for simple lodging facilities if asked. Now volunteers coming from afar do not get enough sleep and invest heavily in transport and parking fees. Just giving food and cheers does not reflect respect for the long and irregular hours (5 full days for UPW)
His seminars are his job...it pays for his lavish lifestyle. If you truly want to learn some life changing skills a good workshop with teams are the best.
Well said,
Wow. This is amazing. Honest and balanced. I'm not a big fan of Robbins, although I have huge respect for his work and the sheer volume of people he has helped. I've had people urge me to go and for me, his methods just don't resonate. Thank you for saving me from wasting the money and more importantly, time I couldn't get back if I went. I still read his work and watch his videos. That's enough for me. There are other practitioners who I get more from that I will work with... but more than anything, I'm deciding I'm not broken, I'm OK and I just need to realize that rather than taking another self help seminar or buying another book.
This is so misleading. My friend Mary worked for Tony for 10 years. It is so wrong to say 90% was volunteers.
This blogger needs to do more work on his de-Robbinizing. That it is necessary is indicated by what he regards as deep thoughts worth emblazoning.
Example. What does "Your worst day can be your best day" mean...if your "worst day" is getting shot in the head or losing your son in a car accident? But of course, that's not the kind of "worst day" that was meant. And there's this qualification: "can be." Of course, not every "worst day" can be transmogrified into the "best day." Sometimes though, maybe. And it sure sounds good anyway.
"The whole sequence was superficial." That's exactly how I feel the few times I have listened to Tony Robbins speaking. Especially when he cusses as if it accentuates his point better. The whole thing feels like a sales transaction rather than a serious journey into the self.
Thank you for your input. The best help I have found in my life from others are the ones that help me help myself. There are very Few things that I don't taylor to my own experience. I was wondering how Tony effected his audience. I suppose my enthusiasm has to authentically mine. doesn't hurt to get boosted a little bit, but unfortunately that kind of stuff doesn't last very long. I have been the happiest in my life when I am able to be true to myself and see myself as I see myself with no one else's filters. I have Incorporated self-help, a few churches spiritual enlightenment, I think what we need from others is encouragement but also acceptance to the direction that we want to place that encouragement
Went to HPA a few weeks ago, which was my first event ever, and had the same feeling of superficial cheesiness and of taking for a fool was undeniably present. Although I did not walk out, probably out of fear being judged and out of curiosity to see how Brendon was going to structure the rest of the seminar, hoping it might give me at least some valuable insights, I found most information very basic, and the stories and everything else are designed with such precision, that it just obvious that the event was a great funneling system of converting warm prospects into loyal customers. I think that people need to stop thinking about personal development from the stand point of check list of all the things they need to improve in order to feel worthy or enough, and start looking deeper at what the underlying patterns of their behavior might cause their misfortunes, stagnation, confusion, fears, etc.
I loved reading it all. You're clear in the structure how you present it. It makes it so easy to read and not be overwealmed but instead to really see the point and it feels very fresh to read. Thanks.
If anyone flies around in a jet and makes millions of dollars from desperate souls seeking answers,they're not helping you,you're helping them.In an age where information is readily available at a click of a mouse,it amazes me how people can't help themselves by typing in whatever is troubling them for a solution because that's what self-help is...helping yourself.Not paying a load of cash to someone else to do it for you.If they capitalise of your troubles,that's not help,that's a ministry.Advice should be free.Even Buddha didn't charge a cent.That's just my take on snake-oil narcissists.Agree to disagree.
The ministry part is too real!
I agree 100%.
you are awesome! I agree 100%
I couldn’t agree more! Total snake-oil salesman and he has also said some horrible victim-blaming things to sexual and physical abuse survivors. I think he’s vile.
I also think if people invested their money into proper evidence-based therapy with a licensed psychologist to work on their self-esteem and other deep-seated issues, instead of looking for a quick-fix (there is none, BTW), they wouldn’t be throwing their money down the drain and lining the pockets of these charlatans who have zero qualifications to offer vulnerable people advice.
Frederick L Covan, chief psychologist at Bellevue, wrote the forward to his book
Chloe Madonnes, top five family therapist, keynote speaker at American Psychological Association, is in partnership with hime
I absolutely agree! It appears he uses or needs the crowd to pump up his own insecurities. I quit following his social media content because I don't believe it to be authentic. It appears he seeks power and money. If so, be honest about that. Yet, he brags of "breakthroughs." The name dropping gets old when anyone does it. If he's so authentic, why does he name drop so much?
You have this mention of Buddhist monks all wrong. First under Buddha rules - monks go around to homes every morning and in the monestary - to accept donations of food, shelter, medicines, and clothing. While a monk may not accept actual money (gold, credit cards, paper, travel tickets, etc) - the stewards of the monestary may and do so often. In Buddha’s actual time - they did the same. How would they live in today’s world or back thousands of years if they had so source of income to provide that they don’t produce. Many monhave winerys and other agricultural means and businesses to make money. Read this Lay Guides To Monk’s Rules (Buddhist Studies) https://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/buddhistworld/layguide.htm
Also - on your “ If they capitalise of your troubles,that's not help,that's a ministry.“ - I believe you are way off here. First, not all ministries nor do all TV ministries make money off people. In fact, most do not do anything but barely cover expenses. Many preachers today have to work several churches each Sunday to make a full salary and some work a regular job in addition to their ministry job. churches have a board who determines the funds needed for capital improvements, utilities, salaries, etc. and they try to raise that through tithes which most people of religion (no matter the denomination) believe based on the bible is their responsibility to share 10% of their income with their church. If you look at most churches budgets - you’d understand they might be collecting revenue but aren’t making a profit and are just barely getting by. NOW - if you are talking about the mega type churches - well yea they sure rake in the money and pay millions to their preacher(s). I myself have difficulty understanding why preachers have to be paid millions in salary while their members average $30-50,000 a year (some much lower, some much higher) but I’m not on their board making those decisions. Of course, again, these mega churches have huge bills to pay and if on TV - that is a very expensive proposition. But as a member of a local midsize church with a Sunday TV hour - I’m well aware of their budgets and short falls. However, without TV church ministries - many people would never hear the word of God. This includes those who are already saved and those who have never been exposed to God. Those already saved - many are elderly or have chronic or terminal illnesses and can no longer get out physically to attend church anymore though they attended all their life. Other saved folks always attended but for some reason they currently aren’t able to do so ( job schedule requires working on Sunday’s or they are the sole caregiver for a bed confined family member, etc). And for the unsaved, it is very sad if they are never exposed to God so they are able to determine if he is for them. God’s love is available to everyone; however, not everyone wants or sees the merits of a life under God and that is a personal decision. But it would be sad if those who believe in him couldn’t receive weekly inspiration. I might point out that ministries/ churches who asked for and received formal non profit status (it is not required for them to do so) - you can look them up on Guidestar to see their financial statements and non profit tax filing. Again - it isn’t required like it is for other non profits so not all will be listed but some of the larger ones are but what they provide might be limited.
his material is indeed available online and in the library. The point of the tuition is to have what he calls immersion, 12 hours and day for six weeks, to affect change. Also if I pay that much, I'm much more likely to get the most out of it. Some people don't appreciate value if its free, and therefore will not go full out.
Absolutely Correct. Average ticket to his seminar, $300-600 times 10,000 seat area. Math doesn't
Lie and the riches keep coming. But Robbins and everyone else have to use the restroom and have limitations like everyone else. It's great to pursue your dreams and to be better in all areas of your
Life. Most of these great changes are free, and there is no need to waisted your money on a guru.
I recently attended the UPW in Singapore. Your sentiments are shared. He is great at what he does, but the bragging became annoying. I made some business contacts while there, but will not attend another of his events. I am not interested in jumping up and doen again. Once was enough.
Thanks Noah, great story as usual.
It is such a great feeling to have the strength to leave a workshop or seminar when we are guided by our own body and intuition to do so.
I love Deida's work. Sadly I have been unable to get to the US to attend one of his workshops. I will look at Gayle Hendricks.
I cracked up when he wrote he doesn't enjoy random dudes touching him, Lol.. Good article. I don't think I would enjoy it either. Especially not for that price. I would rather go to Miami with the $. Best therapy and motivation for me.
Great article. I was curious how much it cost for Tony to speak at an vent and found your article. I am a proud summoling. I had never heard any of your back story. Your are inspiring in that you like to challenge yourself. I’ve learned few new things about a company I support and visit about four times a week. Great engaging writing too. On TR I subscribed to his podcast with disappointment. It’s a lady often interviewing people. Not what I expected from a TR podcast. TR has helped many people, I am a roundabout fan. I’ve only seen him in movies and listened to one side of a cassette tape, but had friends that did listen to him support me through tough times. I am thankful he labels himself a motivational speaker though and not a pastor.
not a motivational speaker, a life coach
Great article. I love how you're not bashing anyone. I saw him at an Isagenix event in vegas last summer. I got such weird vibes from his "performance". The weird arm shake clap thing he does (with music and I think some kind of noise he makes) when people applaud to sort of shift the energy, the "strangest clap you've ever seen", the dancing, the uncomfortable massages from neighbors, etc... it almost felt as though energy from the crowd was being... harvested and used. As strange at that may sound. I left there feeling very drained. It was annoyingly hyped up. I was glad I only paid $250 plus airfare and there were other reasons I had gone to the convention. Plus it only lasted for maybe 4 hours. I couldn't have handed much longer.
Its super that you notice how the energy in the crowd is being harvested and used. Huge groups of people are prone to cult like trance. The attention in the room is somewhat herding the sheep's mind. If the woman that recently spoke and stood up to the man Tony didn't discern his point of view. There wouldn't be a backlash or some sort of up-rise towards his speech in his event. No matter who is the Master or Expert in whichever field. Humans have flaws and can be wrong. Tony's abuse towards to woman is enraging. To push her when she stood up for herself and other woman in the movement called the MeToo. Just a good point and I applause your ability to discern this hidden energy playing in the background.
Stop Gaslighting. When you pay thousands for coaching, you expect coaching- not a sales pitch.
I read this before I went to UPW in San Jose. I took it with a grain of salt because I wanted to play full out. I wish I saw it as more of a red flag. I stayed longer than I wanted- left 2 days in on Saturday. On day one, Tony managed to follow through with his presentation on Steve Wynn's success while bashing the #metoo movement. Although he says he wasnt bashing it-only the false claims- it seemed to be suspicious and not at all coincidental that #metoo was brought up the same day we cover Steve Wynn's successess. Many participants, including myself did not appreciate having his politics shoved in our faces and the dismissiveness that followed. I love the disclaimers in this article because TR fans and the like resort to major gaslighting as soon as you have a criticism or different POV. I agree that this even could be 1 or 2 days max! Lets stop dancing around and get focused. Also, event programs do not list who is facilitating each day- a lot of folks were very upset to find out Tony is only there a day and a half out of the four days. We were even told for Saturday, "Get here early, Tony wants to start at 8:30!" Then he didnt even hit the atage until after 11am! Wtf? That's when I left. Overall it wasnt horrible, but I would not recommend it. I like my meditation retreats much better.
I thought Tony handled himself quite well after the #metoo woman attempted to hijack the seminar to promote her politics. There's a time and place for that discussion. I didn't go there to listen to an audience member promote her ideology. In my opinion, she made a complete fool out of herself.
Nanine wasn't promoting her politics, as you say, in the least. She was simply questioning what she heard something from him that didn't make sense to her.
How did the woman (Nanine McCool) embarrass herself? I thought she remained very calm and dignified in the face of Tony’s ranting, rambling attack.
IMO Tony showed his true colours during that episode and it turns out his true colours ain’t pretty. He came across as an ignorant mysogynist who is more interested in defending his entitled position than listening to other’s viewpoints. And his subsequent apology was glib and vague.
On a different note, I like the way that this article has been written and I appreciate its balanced approach 🙂
I watched the clip of that metoo bit by Tony Robbins. I think he just lost a bunch of customers ...He is definitely part of the problem and he demonstrated some of his true colors when he was being very gently challenged and the 6’5” man couldn’t take it. Just a bit of narcissistism/gaslighting? ..Easy for motivational speakers to talk in one direction, probably the tens of millions of people he said he’s spoken too but the moment he gets challenged.... he fell apart and makes the falsely accused men the focus and the victims. And his very wealthy powerful friend that didn’t hire a more qualified female over a male candidate because he was “scared” of this movement? So there you go women, now men are such victims in this whole movement they can’t hire you because they can’t understand what qualifies as harassment or chauvinism - it’s that confusing for them. Maybe Tony and his poo friends should pay money to do seminars so they aren’t scared of attractive women. Hopefully people just get behind the useful messages and not this messenger... not a good pattern with anyone.
I find it interesting that Tony tells people to stop being victims, but then complains about the MeToo movement victimizing men.
That is such a good point.
I am a PhD in Psychology with over 35 years experience and a tenured full professor in Psychology. Everything that Tony Robbins does is based on good psychological theory...even the celebration and upbeat chanting. If someone does not like that, then they should not attend his seminar. I just did my first one this past weekend in San Jose and came away more convinced than ever that his approach is brilliant.
I have not been to a seminar in the past 20 years where other seminars or products weren't promoted, even the so-called non-profit professional organizations. Yes, there is marketing done at the seminar, but the amount he does is small compared to any other I have attended.
Sorry people are so skeptical. I found the weekend amazing and walked away with tons of skills that I can use with my clients.
Re: "Everything that Tony Robbins does is based on good psychological theory... ."
First, as to your 35 years of experience, you must be aware that urologists with 35 years of experience are still employing the PSA test as viable screening mechanism for prostate cancer even though the inventor of the test conceded it does nothing to reduce deaths from prostate cancer.
There are also gastroenterologists who will suggest colonoscopy screening is similarly effective in preventing 90% of cancers of the colon even though the procedure cannot detect the 40% of cancers that originate in the ascending (right side) colon.
My point: you're attempting to justify Robbins' credentials by citing your credentials. More problematically, your contention that everything he says is based on "good psychological theory" is a sweeping generalization.
One example: in a recent Wall Street Journal article Robbins advocated that we should allocate only 90 seconds a day to suffer.
This doesn't pass the laugh test.
You must be aware of the landmark research by Daniel Wegnerin which subjects were told to avoid thinking about white bears and failed miserably. Even when the ban was lifted, the group thought about white bears much more than the control group which was permitted to think about white bears. Robbins' advice to allocate only 90 days to suffering could also compromise reflection on the etiology of our suffering that will bring us wisdom and less suffering in the future.
A second example: Robbins places the need for certainty as the preeminent need of all human beings.
This, again, is utter nonsense for two reasons: first, our brains are hardwired to estimate probabilities, not to look for certainty. We're that the case and the fundamental human need was for certainty, the human race would not have had its explorers and scientists that took life-threatening risks despite knowing they were going to confront the unknown.
If you're a true believer, so be it. If you think Robbins is a brilliant theoretical psychologist good luck.
He is not. He is a commanding presence with a degree of charisma the kind of which L. Ron Hubbard Joseph Smith possessed--a man who has the ability to make others believe he has the secret sauce.
John thankyou for responding so comprehensively to James that I have no need to add anything 🙂
John Carpenter nailed it.
Totally agree Joanne! He acted as though he had something to hide himself. He was being an intimidating bully and using his physical size to try and get the lady to back down too. I was glad to see she tried to stand her ground in the face of his overbearing arrogance. I can’t stand the guy personally. It’s not the first time he’s done something like this to an audience member.
I'm a doctor of psychology, and I could not disagree with you more. People are not healed by self-help cliches and watching narcissistic "gurus" flap around on a stage. He masterfully manipulates emotions, puts on a good show, and gives people enough good advice (which you can find all over the place in books, on google, in talking to good friends), combine with an highly emotive and emotionally arousing experience that they feel hopeful. It's not that everything that Tony or any of these other self help/life coach/preacher types do is always bad or unhelpful. Some people are on a growth journey, and will continue on that trajectory, however his message and the way he interacts with people can be seriously damaging to people with enough risk factors, and mental health struggles. Particularly those who lack a good support system. And he is making bank off of it, it's disgusting.
James Larson you are an intelligent and enlightened man, and more than qualified to assess, based on your academic credentials. Thank you for balancing out the biases here.
So you are a PhD in psychology and you don’t see any trace of narcissism in TR...? Not even a thin trace?
I was just at his San Jose UPW event. Walked out from the event but during the 3rd day as I wanted to see/hear all that he had to say. I think he is brilliant and obviously a very helpful personal coach (validated by numerous successful people who vouched for him). However, in addition to the points that you made, which I agree fully, I have 2 additional observations:
1) he gives the audience a burst of confidence that may very well last throughout the seminar. The incantation used to quash an individual's limiting beliefs , when said during peak state along with 12 thousand other participants in the arena can be very powerful and gave a sense of euphoria. Its like a pep rally on steroids. However, I wonder how long those new beliefs last once people fly back to their homes
2) With each day, a higher percentage of the time is spent promoting other seminars. I got the sense that UPW is a feeder seminar ($1k to $2k depending on your seats) for other more expensive ones. During the 2nd and 3rd days, they blatantly allocated blocks of time during the program dedicated to selling the benefits of the seminars that costed $5k to $10k. They even used pressure selling tactics that asked people to make the decision on the spot for 59% off - with a kicker that research shows successful people make decisions quickly, so you should too if you are successful. On top of it, they had financing programs for $300 down. That really rubbed me the wrong way. If someone is not able to afford these seminars, should Robbins company apply pressure on them to go into debt if they truly cared about their well being. Reminded me a bit of predatory lending.
Thank you for that information! I personally haven’t attended because I don’t have such a big amount of money to spend on a seminar and the overpriced tickets really give me the wrong impression...
Thank you so much for this review. I have always been leery of Tony Robbins, I think with good reason. I don't think I'm a hater, but much of what you wrote in your article were the things I was leery of. He seems a little like a wolf in sheep's clothing to me, preying on people to get rich. I think he means well, and I also think he wants to be rich. I have a friend that I highly respect who is currently attending a conference and is super excited about it. I want to get behind her, but I just can't. This led me to do a Google search on Tony, which is how I came upon your review. Thanks for posting--it was enlightening!
Great post! I hate fluff and silliness and all of that clapping and dancing bs would make me feel like I was totally wasting my time. On the positive side, I've enjoyed watching videos of him talk and figure that the 1 hour I spend watching a video of him talking about (whatever he is talking about on any particular topic) is probably not a complete waste. It's nice to see that I'm not the only one who doesn't go for that kind of ra-rah motivational gobbledey-gook.
Wish I read this earlier.... just walked out after three hours. I agree - it makes me want to go out and work on being better on my own terms.
I felt it was too hardcore and there were so many lost souls there looking for something to make them feel better. I hope they find what they’re looking for.
For me - I need something more real and genuine where I don’t have to act out skits with strangers in an arena of 13-thousand people.
Also - I’m not interested in Tony Robbins protein powder supplements.
I attended the just registration process with daughter who attended the seminar. From the beginning when we stood in line for hours for the "privilege" of getting registered to the end of the chaos in the area while getting registered, it was embarrassing. It was clear to me (as a licensed psychologist and counselor with thirty five years in the field) that there is a great deal of emphasis on superficial [and often childish] behavior designed to keep peoples minds distracted with 'energizing' themselves. This is common technique to give people a false sense of purpose and meaning, and works well with those who are struggling with low self esteem. Of course there is the issue of not wanting to admit that they have been scammed, so many folks will fiercely insist that these types of self-focused seminars have somehow helped them. We live in an era where self is worshiped and elevated/over-rated, and self-sacrifice and focusing on the needs of others is scorned.
Many are secretly questioning if all the money, and all the effort they have put into getting into the area to register is worth it. So having the volunteers roam through the crowd 'high-fiving', whooping, yelling and clapping their hands is designed to keep people from having time to really think about the whole decision--and from leaving--or asking for their money back. It is amazing how gullible some people are, and sad how desperate many people are that they would feel the need to waste such large amounts of money on something that is so obviously not effect in the long run. I am glad that you have the courage to speak out about why you left, as well as clarifying the details about the seminar.
I only hope that my daughter has the wisdom to seek real help and real direction from guides that do not put the emphasis on self above all else.
"So having the volunteers roam through the crowd 'high-fiving', whooping, yelling and clapping their hands is designed to keep people from having time to really think about the whole decision"
That is highly assumptive. in fact you make more than that assumption about people attending. I know a lot of people who attend these seminars out of exasperation from failed psychologist programmes where they see no improvement in their metal well being.
People are looking for solutions that work, that improve the quality of their lives and traditional therapies have fallen short in a lot case (especially psychiatric drug therapies). And that is not being assumptive I can assure you.
Greg.
Excellent point. I come from the therapy "business" and I wish more therapists knew his way of applying therapy techniques. That is what he does...apply proven methods from a different and simpler perspective. I wish I had been taught what he talks about in my doctoral program in psychology. BTW, I have seen a video of Tony presenting at an international therapy conference with Cloe Madanes (who is a highly respected marriage and family therapy expert). It was amazing to see what they did with a couple who were both therapists themselves. What I see in most of the negative comments are basically people who don't like his "style." And anyone who knows anything about human change knows that learning from watching a video is NOT the same as being there, in the same way that watching the Superbowl on television is not the same as being at the event.
Hi James!
Just wondering what the link to the awesome video of Tony and Cloe coaching the therapists is (or what its title is)? I tried searching for it on Youtube but no avail. It sounds super interesting.
Thanks!!
Yes, there can be unsuccessful therapists as there can be unsuccessful coaches... But if I had $7,000 to spend on my self growth, I would rather take the effort to find a good psychologist to work in one on one basis on long term and would still have some money left to buy myself a nice trip to Thailand or Burning Man if dancing and hoopla hoopling is what’s doing the priming for me
Thank you. Attending tomorrow’s event in San Jose. I feel exactly the same way.
Heading in open minded, however I’m not looking for massages or cheerleaders. I’m looking for more growth and the “breakthrough”.
The name-dropping alone would have done it for me. Cannot STAND it when people do that. But I already had made a decision about whether or not to ever attend one of his events. I've read several of Tony's books, mind you, and he's got some good--and some great!--advice and points. But when I saw the video where he splashes water on a participant's face in order to "redirect" them, I was like, "Hellll to the NO!" Can you not interrupt people in order to manipulate them? Can you possibly just ask a question without asking if you can ask it? I can only watch so much, and I certainly wouldn't pay for 3 days of the same!
Thanks for this. I attended a similar workshop this weekend and had to sort through a bunch of my feelings about it and your article helped with that. Cheers
Well, you had me interested when you told me you run AppSumo and Sumo cause Mr Robbins runs about 15% of his advertising from what a read over Sumo. That aside I noticed it was not so much Tony rather the format, I have seen one video of him where someone asked WHY he does what he does and I truly believe he is genuine in his own way and its a sad fact we as humans believe celebrities more often than the people who have facts, with no story and face attached to a cause it gets nowhere. Whether Tony is ra ra or not REALLY look at youtube we know the format what are you expecting with 10K people in the audience and as with any seminar it's those that go there that make it special (btw THAT'S ALL EVENTS) yes you can get it for free but will you do it. My experience - let's take a simple example we all need maths for life and reading - do you do that on your own? iI you do which I doubt, do you find it easier in company with a teacher (we are socially programmed to learn together)? People that go to his stuff, well you can see it's a rock concert and with 10K people some are not going to like it, as long as you get your money back, then I would as you have done just walk out to preserve the most important asset we have TIME and the only one really in our control, if you are lucky to live in a country that allows you to make your own choices. Not to say those countries don't manipulate us from a very early age, its why its called SOCIETY 🙂 we all manipulate each other some for the good and others for the better. The outcomes are important and you choose that it's PERSONAL to each individual. I agree smaller, quieter events is something Tony does not have and I doubt he ever will.
Just listen to any of the hundreds of free YouTube videos of the friendly, down to earth monk Ajahn Brahm. He's an instant stress reducer and you don't even have to do any homework. I love listening to him on walks
I stumbled on this and the title interested me. I was actually looking for a quote and somehow your site popped up...the title intrigued me. You conveyed your sentiment is a refreshing self reflective manner. I really enjoyed it and am going to go back now and look into your hyperlinks.
Can you tell me what he stated (worth 3-5 thousand dollars) that can not be found on youtube ? Apart from entertainment elements -which quite frankly TV does a better job with the evangelist preachers- and a few well rehearsed drama scenes what does he have to offer which can not be gained for FREE ?! I think he's a crook, and at best another evangelist who knows very well how to play on peoples emotions, for his own personal gain.
I would never in a million years spend that kind of money to go to a ra-ra event. Which, as the writer as stated, is essentially what it is. I'm personally fascinated with Tony Robbins, primarily his charisma. So, I've watched his documentaries and have listened to some of his YouTube talks. And you're right. What does he say that's worth $2,000 that you can't get for free? And the answer is - nothing.
The people that go there strike me as lonely, empty vessels who are looking for meaning and purpose. Nothing new. It's the story of humanity....."who am I?" "Why am I here?" "What is the meaning of life?" I found it rather sad to see so many hungry, lost, lonely people looking for purpose. So, hungry, so lonely, so lost, they are willing to pay ridiculous amounts of money to find it.
Does that make Tony Robbins a crook? Meh. I wouldn't go that far. I personally think Tony Robbins is still working on Tony Robbins. I think he still wrestles with his own pain and damage done from his own life....which, by the way, he freely admits. He's a powerful, charismatic man who has the ability to inspire people. And people pay him a lot of money to do it. We pay for a lot of things to help us through this life. That doesn't make those that we pay, crooks. It makes us desperate for meaning and purpose and willing to go to great lengths to get it.
I think the money that you pay for a seminar like this, is so that you know that you have paid that amount of money and you know that you want to get something out of it... It is a promissory note to yourself...
He states it in Personal Power, because you have bought the tapes, because you have physically paid the money, you are more likely to take something seriously.
The immersion of the course, the 3-5-7 day period (can't remember what it is sorry), is so that you can live in that mode for that long, and you can give yourself the ability to live in that love, that room (essentially) around other people who want to improve, maybe meet others that want to do the same as you, and then carry that feeling into your every day life..
I guess, especially as it is as much as you would spend on a semester at university in England, you are paying for something similar.... if you have an events degree, or a music degree, you are paying money to get given the ability to build an instant network of others that feel like you, and then you are also given the skills that you need to learn to do what you want, in Tony's case that would be change your life..
If, at the end of the day, much life the author of this piece, you do not need this, and you feel that you are complete, then it is a waste of money for you, and if you can find and action the information in your own time, then I guess you are saving yourself $2000. But the sad truth is, as magnolia has stated, some people just aren't that lucky :S.
"because you have physically paid the money, you are more likely to take something seriously."
In reality, once you have paid the money you are very open to being manipulated because you need to convince yourself that you were not really scammed....
This man plays on the fear that many people have--that they will somehow miss out on something of "amazing value".
paragaph 1 you hit the nail on the head
I'll go one step further: for less than $10.00 you can buy three books for amazon that can be read in a week and which, if you believe testimonials, have brought people the same kinds of gains--financial security, improved health, better relationships, and greater life satisfaction.
These are: "The Magic of Believing " which Lee Liberace--one of Las Vegas' greatest ever performers claimed was the catalyst for his success. (Today he would have been worth $200,000,000 and was adored by millions of fans.)
"It works"--a free pdf download on the internet that thousands of true believers who claim the author's simple three-step process brought them the perfect marriage, their dream house, and other unrealized dreams.
And, finally, Norman Vincent Peale's "The Power of Positive Thinking" which, love him or hate him, Donald Trump credits for the success he has enjoyed.
So, why would anyone spend $6,000 for Robbins' strutting, hand clapping, and eardrum-shattering music when they could get these books for less than breakfast would cost you at one of his "Mastery Weekends"?
John you missed the point
in fact, his book Awaken The Power Within contains most of the material from the seminar
So to answer your question- IMMERSION in order to reinforce
I attended the UPW event in Singapore. Accompanying me is my friend who is a CEO of a publicly listed company. We kept an open mind esp after we saw the theatrics at the start. Good thing because it changed my life, my mindset and my priorities. I respect the negative opinions here but it worked for me. The change in mindset resulted in having more business opportunities which exploded because of a small change I made, saved my family and relationship and I think made me a better and more optimistic person. I consider myself as an intellectual and I am happy that bec I kept an open mind I genuinely feel the changes happening in my life almost like a miracle. I am confident that I would up my game and achieve breakthrough. Someone mentioned about the hefty price tag of platinum membership but I am really considering after I bring my wife to another UPW event or to Business Mastery. While it’s through that the content is available on youtube, I felt that the experience onsite is just amazing... sharing with different people from different backgrounds with extremely high stamina and energy made it an experience worth remembering. It came at a right time when I am ready to up my game and leverage my success/momentum. Plus it saved my relationship. So i would pay 15x over by gifting this experience to close friends!
Well said! It did the same for me, got me out of my own way...
I also attended UPW. because my friend did not wanted to go alone. First day I was surprised by the dancing and hugging but I decided to keep an open mind. I had a lot of break throughs and destroy some limiting beliefs that i didn't even knew I had. I later took my husband who doesn't like all the dancing, massage, etc but I felt there was value to attending business mastery. We learned so much about ourselves, our relationship and our business. Our business grew 33%, our relationship was elevated to extraordinary because we put new habits in place. We joined plat and it has been one of the best year of our lives. We travel around the world with our new plat friend, We are living life in our own term. Funny one of the best advice was stop suffering and live life in a beautiful state. We give more, we love more and we serve others more.
Very balanced and well articulated...There is a great deal of profound mentorship and support in far less frenetic and far more personal and beneficial settings. But somehow I would like to go just to experience it first hand simply for the phenomena it is. I know it would creep me out but I think I might find curiously entertaining.
Right on. I mean, really. Right on.
Hi there, I totally agree - there seems to be a lot of fluff, hoopla and dancing. No I've never been but I was thinking of going to Aust. NOT anymore. Cos all his videos I've watched - a whole lot of the fluff and 10,000 people?! It's too vague - his messaging. No, I'll save my money and work on my personal development on my own
Check out Dr. John DeMartini. He has a 2 day seminar called The Breakthrough Experience. I keep on hearing its better than Date with Destiny.....
I have been to both, Dr. J. Demaartini "Breakthrough Experience" and T. Robbins's "UPW." Definitely would recommend T. Robbins. Dr. Demartini's one is more expensive, about £1250 in London. UPW about £ 1000 0r £ 800 if you buy in advance. For me UPW was life-changing.
Demartini's Breakthrough has left me quite overwhelmed and slightly disappointed.
They are however both great men, who have a lot to share.
We all have different tastes, different needs, are at different points of our life. No one teacher, teaching can fit all.
BINGO. Thank you for pointing out that major disconnect.
Just watch on u tubes and save mucho time and money. DIY - do it yourself with pen and paper.
Killer article. I did buy "Get The Edge" and it ok. I never got the edge to go to one of his seminars... I like Tony's stuff but something never quite sat well with me about these ra-ra-events. Instead, I took a nice trip to the Dominican Republic and continued to listen to Tony on Tape. 🙂
You made the WISE choice, by far.
the trip to DR is over once you're back home.
The point of his seminars is everlasting change.
One is a purchase, the other an investment, that keeps on giving long after its over
Hi I just wanted to know did they refund your money?
silly question... of course not. Loads of people would have walked out if they thought they could get a refund. I'm sure that's precisely (at least in part) why he felt "empowered". He wasn't driven by the money he paid, he wasn't going to "tough-it-out" 'cause he paid 2K, (as I'm sure many of them did) he was driven by his personal commitment and what HE wanted to get out of it, not what Robbins wanted him to get.
TR's refund policy is this: providing attendees who have registered stay for 1.5 days of the seminar, and are still unhappy and want a refund, they will get one.
Of course he did! As did my sister!
I loved the seminar. Same blood but not the same experience...which is perfectly fine...we are all different.
I felt the exact same way!! I just walked out of the session in Singapore!!
My boss was at that seminar in Singapore, and my working life is now insane as a consequence! Seriously considering resignation right now...
What made it so insane? Just curious.....
I fully respect your opinion and enjoyed reading it. I'm not trying to defend the event, as I've never gone, and I understand why you left.
But at the same time, your personal development day seemed like a dud.
The seminar inspired you to what?
discuss personal development with a friend for 3 hours,
Record yourself discussing personal development for an hour and a half,
Read about personal development,
and then discuss personal issues for another hour.
Sounds like lots of talking and not a lot of action.
It's very easy to have conversations and make plans. I'm not saying it's bad, just that it's easy.
It's action that brings change.
For many people, is not most people---those things he mentioned doing are taking action.
No everyone has to take action in the same ways or at the same time.
Thank you for your post. Ive checked out TR on utube. I tend to lean towards your way of thinking. I ended up calling a coaching program to get some help and enlightenment with some deep issues and ended up enrolled in a coaching coarse the ultimately cost me $30, 000. I dont regret it although i still dont feel prepared enough and it has left me financialy strapped. Most likely my own issues with money, and i also felt it was also about selling. Every time you turn around someone is trying to sell you something, frankly it makes me a bit sick. Also i feel the deep blocks in a person need to be resolved and worked out first, its like taking medicine for an issue that justs masks the problem but doesnt take care of the real issue. If you get rid of blocks then the path i feel is more to achieve the dreams with the help of the universe of course. Just needed to share.
Great article!! Some of us don't need this type of seminar. There are so many inspiring people to learn and grow and have a seminar with. I met some TR admirers and they act like there is no other person in the world. Don't get me wrong I liked some presentations of TR on youtube. Helped me a lot.
Thank you for this... I had thought at one time to buy his program but something just didn’t seem real and you are right, there is depth missing.
Tony Robbins reminds me of Jaws in the James Bond movies. He looks like the sort of person I would send to collect money from my enemies.
No, I'd say he's more like the character played by Tom Cruise in the movie Magnolia, maniacally whipping dorky men into becoming aggressive pickup artists.
Yes - I'd say that's more of how Tony Robbins comes across to me. And I hate being massaged. Don't touch me.
And, by the way, I cannot be hypnotized, so imagine how I felt being in a room full of hypnotized maniacs. I was like, what the heck happened to this crowd. Did someone just turn on a light switch in their heads or something? I felt so alone and isolated from the rest of the "revelers".
I wonder if Tony Robbins can see the dynamics of what he's doing to these people from an observer's point of view. Such mind control cannot be healthy. I mean, you are clearly not yourself in that mix. It's more like a subconscious slice of you on meth.
Well - Price paid, lesson learned...and the "Kool-Aid" doesn't even taste very good.
Definitely not for me.
This is my one final note on what Tony Robbins does. There's an old saying: People aren't taught...people learn. It's like taking a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. If I'm motivated enough to do something with my life I don't need a "Tony Robbins" to help me do it. I find a way and I do it. That's real.
And after I've done it I don't going around telling others how to do it - I'm not a preacher or a salesman. When others are motivated enough they will find themselves in the same position I was in and they will find a way to do it, too. That's equally real.
I cannot emphasize this enough.
The Tony Robbins's of the world are the equivalent of a band-aid for cancer. The real cure to the dis-ease is in the mirror, and being honest with what you see in it. Does anyone really need a life coach to do that? If the person is not ready, even Tony can't help. If the person is ready, he doesn't need Tony anyway.
I'm not against Tony Robbins or what he does. My only question is to those who follow - what really do you think you're doing (besides spending money and getting entertained)?
By the way - thank you, Noah Kagan, for providing this venue.
I will share with you my personal, first impression of Tony Robbins.
The first time I saw a photograph of Tony Robbins (born Anthony J. Mahavoric) I had one immediate, gut-level thought - this man is a maniac. I'm pretty good at reading body language and all I can say is the image of Mr. Robbins screamed at me, "I am a successfully angry man! I am so full of rage it's literally bleeding out of my pores!"
If you read about Mr. Robbins' childhood you won't be surprised. It was full of emotional abuse and familial chaos. No wonder the man turned out the way he did. I would be full of anger and hatred as well if I had to grow up in the environment he grew up in, but that's not the point.
The point is that Mr. Robbins' philosophy and methodology appeal to something similar in those who follow him - hatred and anger at themselves. At some deep level Mr. Robbins hates himself and is angry at life in general. He cultivates that in others who are in similar life situations and makes money doing it.
My advice is to beware of being lured into that way of approaching life and people. The rewards are almost immediate but are also usually short-lived, as you will tend to repulse most people who have any intelligence, integrity, or genuine self-respect, and you will soon find yourself in the company of bullies or idiots.
There are better ways of learning how to enjoy living your life than learning how to scream.
But if that's for you, then by all means, go for it.
I agree. He was actually consistently beaten by his alcoholic mother for years. This made me have some more compassion for him but it has also made me realise he has never really healed from his own past and why he tells the audience participants to essentially “get over it” if they have had an abusive childhood. The anger still enimates from his pores, it’s just suppressed by all his forced positivity.
Our direction of attention the most powerful tool in this century. Attention make bigger anything you pay it ( sorry my english if you don t get it)
TR always saying. ¨You think you are came for ¨that¨and on the real you will get another¨. Is it his believe?
I v got my Tickets on UPW in Singapur now, I v been to London last year.
Life presents to us POSSIBILITIES. Take it .
In this UPW my purpose is to find out how can i find tools for all I right down and study during 4 days.
By the way , thanks to UPW, i become PRANA HEALER, what was presented by STEPHEN Co , healer of TR on last day of UPW . that is amazinggggg.
NOTE. I heard form one couch , that he goes UPW 11 years, and always there something NEW.
God bless you all.
I have been a fan of Tony’s writing for years, so when I finally had the chance to go to his Business Mastery seminar, I jumped at the chance. I cannot overemphasize how disappointed I was. My disappointment was not that his minimal business advice was so basic and underwhelming, but that his main purpose during the seminar was to sell people on his Platinum Partnership program.
My wife and I paid $16,000 dollars to attend a five day seminar whose main purpose was to manipulate us into spending close to ten times that amount to be part of Tony’s “exclusive” high end partnership reserved for only “select” qualified individuals. As it turns out, the only “qualification” needed was a credit card and a willingness to fall for this charlatan. After hours of tearful and Oscar-worthy theatrics accompanied by music and a light show, Tony mentions that though only “a few” spots for his Platinum Partnership remained, anyone interested is welcome to apply. Afterwards, briefly moved by his performance, my wife and I went to the table to fill out an application. What we found was that there was no application process, only people actually helping us fill out a binding contract promising “proximity is power” and an opportunity to rub shoulders with the business elite for the low low price of $140,000 a year for us both. We personally saw dozens of other contracts being signed with the help of Tony’s eager staff members (far more than the suggested “6 or 7” spots Tony had hinted remained).
I was embarrassed that my wife and I almost fell for this highly intellectualized scam. In addition to this bit of hucksterism, the remainder of the seminar presenters were schlepping there own expensive products after sensationalized power point presentations.
I urge you to make your own judgements, but my experience of this man was sigh-worthy and embarrassing disappointment at his ego-driven underhanded personal financial agenda.
I appreciate you posting such a thoughtful reply...
I always wondered what his "Business Mastery seminar" was all about...
Being a "Marketing Guy," I was hoping he would focus on that... But, I also had a "sneaking suspicion" that he was going to present only "basic" information... and pitch his higher-priced seminar. I'm disappointed it was the later.
In the end, I'm still a "fan" of Tony... I just don't think I'll ever go to one of his live events.
I'm impressed with the choice of articles and titles - great way to tap into the draw of the Robbins name and guarantee readers for your promotion.
However, your motivation aside, I can't disagree with much of what you have written. Robbin's life has been dedicated to becoming a 'guru' and no one can deny his outstanding achievement in fulfilling his goals and dreams - he is without doubt one of the most successful people in this space and I doubt he would change much about his life! That being said, he is a 'pop star' with a pop star following. It just so happens that his fame is build on providing something more than music, which I personally find fatuous along with most of the people that supply it. However, I can't condemn those that hero worship the so-called stars, if they get pleasure from it then there is no harm done?
I went to a TR day back in the 90's, I think it was a prelude to Awaken the Giant, and left at the lunch break. I don't believe in hype for hype sake, indeed I believe it to be dangerous for people of low resistance, whether their problems are temporary or permanent, and can lead to them taking bad and dangerous decisions.
Is this TR's fault, should he vet his audience? Who knows, not me anyway.
I have (kind of) followed Robbins for most of his 30 years, even went to an event in London a few years back, you think I would have learned the first time. I've never paid any money to him so I have no axe to grind. Even though I sat through a day of pitching for the 'privilege' of around an hour and a half of him on stage, I picked up some useful information, proving that we get what we look for - and everything has a quid-pro-quo.
I have gained a great deal from being introduced to the world of self improvement in the 80's, which happened as a result of being drawn toward Robbin's advertised offers of a better life. I went on to discover works from people like Dale Carnegie et al, teaching actual substance not hyping words, and, as promised, my life was altered. 30 plus years later, after spending a great deal of time and effort developing my skills, I have traveled the world teaching these skills to others and count myself immensely fortunate to be able to continue to do so. (All due to great advertising by the Robbins corporation, because, lets face it, thats what it is, a multi-million dollar, sales and marketing corporation.)
So I thank him for that and for one other major lesson (which he never intended to teach me). Teaching people anything, especially action and character changing ideas, must be done responsibly and carefully. If it's done simply to further one's own success and satisfy income and ego dreams, then, in my opinion, it is immoral.
Just to be clear, I believe intention is the overriding factor and I believe Tony Robbins' intentions are to help people and improve their lives. If some gullible and idiotic are sucked in - does the end justify the means? probably!
Hold on, you walked out and then paid for a massage? You could have had multiple free massages each day at the seminar 😀
Tony uses Neuro Linguistic Programming NLP to market his seminars, in his language when presenting on stage, and when he does 'change work' with attendees. The problem is that he does not divulge this to his followers (He's started to, however for decades he didn't acknowledge the field of NLP which IMO is disrespectful to the co-creators John Grinder & Richard Bandler), nor does he teach the audience members the patterns, (step by step) of HOW they can repeat the patterns themselves.
Hence, while attendees get 'unleashed' verbally, and witness powerful changes of a hand full of audience members that Tony works with directly, they quickly fall back into their old patterns soon as they return home. Reason is that external triggers, lifestyle, influences are generally inflexible and in order for change to happen on a deeper (neurological) level it needs to be embodied and anchored. (I guess this is what he's attempting to do with the dancing and clapping and hugging - which works in the moment however this is a highly inappropriate method of anchoring a high intensity state as it cannot be easily replicated in 'real life' back in the home. )
What this all means is that people quickly fall back into their old patterns and unresourceful states upon re-entering their lives and jobs back home and quickly need another 'fix. As an attendee they now have a 'community' they feel connected to so they sign up for the next event, and keep coming back for more, and more and more!
Tony is a model of excellence in the genre of marketing his events and selling from the stage. Many people model his model and it works. Unfortunately, he is also robbing people of the opportunity to make the changes in their lives they want as they don't have all the tools they need...specifically, the NLP patterns, processes, strategies and language patterns that he is using!
So if a person has $2K-$5K to invest in themselves so they can transform their lives great!
They might get better results seeking a reputable and *Certified* NLP Trainer who offers Certification courses in NLP (examples - Classic Code NLP, New Code NLP, Masters, Coaching and many more certifications are available - worldwide by many excellent trainers) .
Investing in learning NLP skills in a LIVE experiential training environment where you can actually use the patterns with a partner will provide you with the patterns Tony uses (and many other transformational trainers/speakers for that matter)- plus you will get the shifts in belief, state, habits and behaviours that you are seeking - and you can replicate the experience when you get back to home. And if you keep practicing you can even begin coaching others!
not too sure about NLP...might want to try "real" science
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuro-linguistic_programming
There are only a handful of studies (little if any data, too few subjects, not repeatable) to support the claims in the numerous articles upon which this "field" was built.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3481516/
I've always enjoyed this brief seminar as an alternative to the more expensive options discussed in this article: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrNtXoTy13M
I watched Grandler and it could induce deep sleep in an insomniac
Tony makes it very clear he didnt go to one seminar and that effected lasting change. He stresses the criticalness of a daily ritual
My interpretation of your article is that you were already evolved to (or past) the point that Mr. Robbins' seminar was designed to help one reach. I don't know much about TR but I do know that there comes a point where we simply graduate to the next level and no matter how skilled the presenter is, their material no longer resonates.
Agreed.
I ready your article and found it interesting and accurate. My son- in- law is planning on going to one this coming summer, I will ask him to read this article for perspective and insight. He can then decide for himself seeing two different viewpoints. I would not attend a TR seminar. Actually, in the 70-s I did do the Warner Erhard EST training . Same thing.
Thank you. Having completed some Landmark courses, my concerns would be similar. I purchased Get The Edge/Personal Power years ago I found it inspiring but not so easy to put in practice. I believe Landmark to disconcertingly (dangerously) confrontational. Your practice of discussions with friends and a group(s) may be the way forward. I had been looking for a way to share with my much younger family members so they can design their lives more than I did. Unfortunately, I don't believe giving them materials and suggested processes is going to have a real impact.
I watched about 20 minutes of the netflix I am not your guru, which I thought the title was quite accurate. Tony Robbins is definitely not a guru and most certainly not my guru even if he were to ever be one.
The 20 minutes of the netflix flick was difficult to digest and peppered with way too much with the F bombs for my taste, and I am not shy around that word. It felt too much like watching a cult.
I have never read any of his books but I may in the future, I am not against the message but I am not a fan of his delivery.
Yes, he's rich but does that make him a better person? Our society confuses net worth with goodness of character; they aren't interdependent.
Why does he charge so much for his seminars? At 10 thousand attendees per seminars, he could charge 100 bucks per person and still make a crazy amount per year. But, that won't happen as it is just greed, plain and simple.
Happiness is free, it's inside of each of us, some discover it sooner than others. Save your 5 grand, or spend it on yourself.
Tony Robbins isn't smarter than most, nor is he exceptional in any regards, he's just a business man profiting on the self doubt of others.
Glad you walked out.
Well said.
By the way, material wealth and success does not translate into happiness, either. Mr. Robbins may be many things, but happy he is not. I consider myself to be an empath, and the vibrational impressions I get from him are uncomfortable and disturbing. He is not at peace inside.
Yes he could certainly charge $100 and still make big money, but the point is, the more you pay, the more value you magically get from something!!
I´m sure if you go to Date with Destiny you wont have the feeling that his seminars are superficiall UPW is a great way to get to know Tony´s work and also there are a lotof tickets that sell under 2000$. If you really want to go deep you should attend Date with Destiny wich goes 6 days and covers all areas of life.
I disagree. I attended Date with Destiny, and it didn't do anything for me at all.
Far too much emphasis on money covered up with a lot of faux spiritual tosh.
TR boasted about going to Paris with his Platinum Club members and, on finding their preferred nightclub full, allowed the doorman to throw other guests off a table so they could sit down.
We were all encouraged to drink out of single use plastic cups which were then all chucked away, despoiling Fiji's green and pleasant land. My suggestion that we reuse them was met with incredulity and annoyance by the brainwashed 'trainers'.
Being English, I obviously loathed the hugging and groping - though did enjoy the dancing.
Save your money and just buy one of his books!
He is a philanthropist and gives to people that need basic necessities to live...if you can afford a $2-5k ticket to experience him, that’s not ripping money from your pockets.
I think that if he was truly a philatrophist, he would help the people that have financial problems for free, at least once in a while... When you can pay $2,000 and above for a ticket to an event, you are already one of the very few who have a higher level of financial security
I too, find his bragging to be excessive. I enjoyed your article.
Thanks for the video of the weird Tony clap. I lol for a long time.
I have crewed events for 2 years, I completed Mastery University in a year. I am a pharmacist 15 years. Tony Robbins, like Louise Hay and Wayne Dyer, even Deepak Chopra today, keep people out of hospital beds. I see 50--120 patients a day in pharmacy. Tony Robbins is the worlds number 1 coach. He has brought politicians, sports elite athletes, the everyday man and woman on the street back from the brink. This work is not easy! Pharmacy is not easy! Implementing change is not easy, but in the words of Bob Proctor it is worth it. Persevere. Never, ever, ever give up! You can do it! You can reach your goals and dreams and highest life purpose. Live for you. That's what Tony is showing people what and how to do. Be well and best wishes, Eavan
Thank you so much for this positive light. It seems quite strange, all the negativity. I needed to hear you, Eavan. I am struggling greatly with the ins and outs of life. My dreams are real to me, and I've been doing it all wrong for the past 22 years. There's no way out. I can't give up. I must make it to the other side, and I need help. I must succeed, because I have given my dream work , my life and I deserve it(already doing the work, yet it feels weird! I do deserve it, I'll say it again! We all do! And most importantly I feel that I will be a better person for others/the world when I fulfill my work dream) I just discovered Tony, while I can't go to his seminars, and I am best in quiet atmospheres for growth right now. I feel fortunate to listen on line. I'm exhausted. I'm tired. I need this help. I am so happy how passionate you are about TR keeping people out of hospitals and that you are a pharmacist at that! That gives me hope, because it shows me how you care and know that we are over medicated, this comment from YOU warms my heart so, that you are on the right side and want to help the "health" community and not the over use of meds/drugs. This all ties together with the kind of person you are and how you care! That is beautiful. Yes, it is so important to reach ones highest life purpose, to reach their full potential, it seems it's taking me nearly half my life to get there, and I better do this quickly,because of all the time passed by, and I won't say "wasted", just passed by with many experiences to hold. Yet, I must do what I can swiftly. I don't want to say my "whole" life it took me, sounds a lil more charming to say "half" my life. Listening to TR NOW, when I could have been listening to him all along! TR's message is very important and I wish for all to embrace it. And if you found TR young, you are all the wiser. And one lucky person. I missed out on TR and Grunge Music, I am not sure where I was (working a ton and moving way too much) I tie in Grunge Music, because it's quite powerful, all these amazing musicians blossomed in my hometown of Seattle, meanwhile TR was becoming the major influence and I missed both :(. Also,thinking of the fallen musicians that TR could have helped,if they found him, if they were open to him. I feel a fool to not realize TR's tools and the like. It's these types of tools that need to be in the tool box. Or it's like a tool box without a wrench! I am also looking into transcendental meditations. While I am late to the party, AlI I can be, is grateful that I discovered it all before I was 6 ft under. It resonates with me, I've done and thought it all wrong. It all seems common sense, yet , we, ourselves, our surroundings can destroy our lives, be the grandest detours of it all. As others said, we go back to those patterns that destroy our growth, and we must not, we only have a short time, we must stay on the right path. Which is why I am going to study TR, and TM (transcendental medi), with the combination, I am and must stay on the best path for my best life. All while listening to Soundgarden, Chris Cornell, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Eddie Vedder, Alice In Chains, Mother Love Bone etc..! The fact that I missed out on some of the greatest people in the 90's is absurd. Lucky to all that already knew. I will be catching up to you! Thank You for your sweet words Eavan, Never Give Up, and now I must believe that's it's never too late! Happy New Year 2018 All, May all your days be filled with health, love and peace. Cynthia
Wow.
Try eckart tolle... U will like his talks more..
I've embraced ET and he way of thinking... and have been better ever since!
Your goals don't match the point of this event. And if you already had your breakthrough and are in a favorable stage of your life, the Tony Robbins events you should be going to are the business ones, not this one.
Every business person who wants to teach you something will tell you what they can do. That will create trust and credibility. After all, you have to tell people what you've done and can do since they don't really know you. Not everyone knows Tony Robbins or has the same message, so he has to say it over and over again, just like stories on TV or on the internet are repeated at different times in order for everyone to be on the same page. I agree with the self-promotion thing being too much, but how long would you take to promote all your work if you had over 30 companies and various kinds of seminars? Business is business, and he needs the money if he's going to feed/help all those people and be the best at what he does. He needs to increase his status so people around him can see that his results continue to improve, which expresses a sense of trust and that what he does actually works. He did mention before that he wants to be the best at what he does, and that includes being shameless about advertising his own work, which anyone of higher status will advise you to do. You yourself did that in this article with Tony Robbins and his crew using your products, which you actually didn't have to do, and you still did for a reason.
All perspectives need to be taken into account, not just a couple. I don't obsess over Tony Robbins, but what I've learned from him has all been for free, otherwise he would have a team flagging all of his free videos on Youtube that are uploaded by random individuals.
Totally agree, just seems funny to not pay it forward in the best way that you can
Thank you so much for this article on a Robbins event. I'm a Nurse with a goal of becoming a Motivational speaker. This coming year goal is to attend at least 5 events, just to get feel for the environment and learn from those out there doing it already. I felt that many of these events weren't for me just by watching on YouTube. I love helping others in the more physical since. So I needed this to help start me off on the right track moving forward. You dropped so many jewels and I'm sure you have so much more. I often find inspiration from within, just having a hard time finding that mentor who's going to give me the tools I need to move forward. Thanks so much for this and keep it coming. Blessings and much success
I’m not being funny but you have a mastermind group someone who can go hiking with you on a whim and discuss personal development and even after spending all that money for a conference you were able to get a massage and chill the f out! On top of this you walked out on a conference most people can’t fully afford so you’re pretty much covered. You also have willpower and some of his books! It could be said his conference worked so well for you that you were sorted in just one day! This is an extremely annoying post! For someone like myself his conference could be life changing especially seeing as we don’t have your already motivating environment
I totally agree
Already reread and I did a not so good job at checking my sentences for correctness.
You expected too much for the ticket you paid. Trade expectations for appreciation.
I am so grateful I read hishis books. I wish had the money to atrend his events. Even if I do I would not spend on his seminars but massage and other health related leisure activities. I love Tony but also other great authors as well.
This was great. TR teaches something called Reticular Activating System. What he teaches is not what it actually does, it regulates levels of consciousness like sleep...it doesn't cause you to only see negative things that you think about. That sounds more like Negativity Bias. I was telling this to a coach yesterday that teaches RAS in his dating webinars and he just reacted to me in an email that it's not a "Tony Robbins thing" and it's a real thing...without even researching what I said which is what a scientist would do...but we're not talking about science are we?
Hi, I'm totally with you. So many of these self development do a lot of talking ab out what you may need to change bla bla bla, but they don't actually get down to telling you how it's done...you leave with a sense of euphoria, and then when a problem hits you you're back to square one because you've not been given anything specific, just a feel good factor for the time you're there and maybe a few days after. Setting goals, pretty useless...our main goals should be waking up in the morning and feeling good about who we are, everything else is just fluff.
Tony has read all the same books we've read, and he's smart enough to paraphrase them and then sell them at a seminar as his own. Do the math, 10,000 people at $2000 a pop. TR makes $20 million per event. I'd be excited too!
I actually attended UPW and Date with Destiny and loved them both! I am very happy and healthy, work from home, live in Breckenridge and snowboard or hike every single day. Life is good! I don't have problems I want to solve when I attend these events and yet I have a blast and make HUGE positive changes afterwards anyway. I have connected with so many awesome people from around the world and discovered things about myself I didn't realize before attending. It's always healthy to take time for yourself and to refocus your values. I gained a lot of insight and left extremely motivated to kick ass both times. He mentions that his program isn't for everyone and it's for those who are already successful but want to reach higher. That is why my mother and I were good candidates. We didn't arrive to either event with expectations yet made HUGE positive changes in our businesses, health and relationships. There's a reason that celebrities and really wealthy people attend these events and hire him as their personal coach. Those people are already successful but are still striving to reach their full potential. He clearly states that these events are not for everyone and he's right. Make sure you actually have what it takes if you want to get your money's worth. You still have to put in the work, he's not going to do it for you. He's simply helping you unlock your full potential. If you don't grow tremendously from attending an event, maybe you've just reached your limit. Like I said, it's not for everyone. For me, there is no limit and I will never stop growing and learning and making a difference in this world. I'm thankful for these events/ They helped push me past my limits and conquer some major goals that I'd been putting off.
I am at Dat with Destiny and I too walked out. It’s freezing in the room and I’m in Florida walking around in my boots with gloves and hat and a 25 pound backpack with layers of clothes and water etc. I’m here 5 hours and all I have heard so far are sales pitches on his platinum membership and business mastery! Disappointed I just walked out because after 5 hours of commercials I feel I should get to choose hoe to spend my time and if you want to sales pitch me let me know so I can decide to be there or not. Too much dancing this program is way too long with too much fluff.
I’m literally watching TR I’m not your Guru on Netflix and I immediately noticed how strange his clapping was! Then to see the clip of your pointing out the clap ..... ?? Good Laugh. TR is amazing and I love watching his videos, etc. but I’m also totally with you on the bragging and name dropping. I couldn’t even get past the first few chapters of one of his books because of the bragging, etc. One more thing... the pictures of you.... that definitely does not look like the same dude. Good for you that’s crazy.
He claps that way now because of the nerve damage he’s suffered over the years from all of the events.
Tony Robbins is another prosperity preacher. A false prophet.
If ypu want to know what to do, know yourself. Read philosophy, read the Tao Te Ching. No one can help you but ypurself.
It really floors me that the people on here criticize others and call them names because they go to a Tony Robbins event. It sounds like you name callers should seek help at some type of seminar or maybe a psychiatrist. It sounds like you are the type of person who complains and calls people names for wearing certain clothes or shoes. When in reality we all are guilty of buying into a brand of some type and spend thousands of dollars on that brand. Do you wear Nike’s? Holy crap you must be a moron! Why would you spend $200+ on sneakers? Maybe you drive a Mercedes! Why? I could go on and on. I’ve never been to a Tony Robbins event and don’t plan on going however, I’m not gonna slam people who do. I don’t go to church and believe there’s a deity who chooses wether I go to a place after I die but, I don’t slam others who do. Really, get over your self righteous selves and quit worrying about what people spend their money on. That’s a choice they made! You did not make that choice and quite frankly who cares!
I went to UPW in November. One of the first things he says is" I'm not going to teach you anything you already don't know. Everything you need is inside you. I'm just going to unleash it!" That is the entire point of UPW, to remind you who you are and ignite what you want to do with your life. To push away the excuses of I can't... because... Just like the author of this article, he didn't care for TR but what did he do when he left? He did things that helped him personally and had him grow and challenge the road blocks in his life. If you break down the 4 days of the TR seminar, you can do the work all yourself. You can! Challenge yourself to do something you never would have considered. Walking across fire. I did and burnt both my feet. I wasn't upset about it and it hurt for a few days after. Just like life. You can get hurt and burnt on a few things but if you take care of yourself you can heal.
Eat right and exercise, sleep well. This is a no brainer. People who have depression and anxiety take meds and see counselors, So do people who don't have those issues. People need people to care about them and help them up. Another one of Tony's points. He's just helping people up. He's done this for almost 40 years and yes continually to reinvent himself to what works for him and applies that knowledge to everyone else. You take what works and leave the rest behind. We are supposed to reinvent ourselves, not stay stagnant. Think about it, when air is not moving you feel stifled. You need help. Someone can open a window, you would be so grateful because now air is moving. You could open the window and you still would be so grateful for moving air.
Go see people who challenge you, think differently or have an ideal that is inline with yours. If other people don't challenge us to challenge ourselves how would we grow? take responsibility for yourself, love your self, look in the mirror and truly see who you are. Grow every day, even if its to give yourself a hug, help someone carrying packages.
It's not naive, it's love of oneself and Tony has figured out how to tap into that lucratively but yet how many people do you think go home and try things he says. When you don't follow through on changing and growing you become stagnant like the air. If you don't like things then leave and change them but keep moving.
The name dropping is to point out that if you wanted to get to someone influential you could, you just have to continually try and express your message
The massaging and dancing, figure up your nose is for loving your neighbor as yourself. No one is better then the other, we are all in a different point in our lives. Some by choice of circumstance and some by choices we made and some by choices that were made for us. The dancing is to move your endorphins, endorphins make people happy! If you didn't like the music, use your own but move and be happy. The last thing is the nose picking, while at first it did seem ridiculous, the point of reinforcement was that all problems can be tackled and eventually the fear and judgment of ones self releases and what is left is love on one self and care to you and not others.
I went to UPW in July. I enjoyed reading your perspective and I can agree there's WAY too much massaging going on. But TR uses this as an immersion event. 4 days to really dive in and be uncomfortable. I enjoy 80% of the UPW experience and was happy to leave the rest.
(Dickens, past/present exercise? ew. Conflicting nutrition advice, no thanks).. so for those segments I left. Got a snack or went to my room.
I LOVED the firewalk, not because you walk on fire - but because I did something I had no interest in and didn't even believe or cared about. But I pushed through and at 1am I did it. I'm someone who will choose comfort EVERY DAMN TIME, so to be pushed out of my comfort zone in many ways was worth it.
I was also reminded that I'm in control of my life and my emotions, and I stopped taking antidepressants that very weekend (I was on a low dose and I was only taking them out of fear). I didn't necessarily LEARN anything new, but I was REMINDED of my power and that experience has stayed with me.
We all need support, and that support can come from many different ways. I can be a bit lazy, so for 4 days I turned off my thoughts and opened my heart. It was an EXPERIENCE I'll never forget. It's not for everyone, and it can feel a bit cult-y. I think it's important to follow many thought leaders and keep an open mind. TR isn't for everyone, but everyone should be open to learning from those further down the path.
I'm going to DWD next year, I'm equally scared and excited. And that's a good thing!
I agree with you about UPW - I walked out too. But I did attend Business Mastery and LOVED it. The connections and new friends I made were absolutely gold and I loved some of the things he did during the week long seminar. The days were super, super long, but totally worth it. I learned a lot and got to talk to people that were far more successful than me, and learned some new ways of thinking. Loved it so much that I signed up for Business Mastery 2 next year.
It would have been nice if you had not had to walk out and had realized before you even plucked down your hard earned cash for this event that it was not a true way for you to move forward in your life, but was a great way for Robbins to further enrich himself. Many of the techniques and strategies Robbins uses are readily available at the public library or online, and so your money would have been better served making a donation to meals on wheels or some other organization that would have used it to better the lives of people who are truly suffering.
I've never attended, but I have watched his Youtube videos, and what I think most about is this: if he goes on and on about generosity, why he doesn't he offer free trainings or seminars for the poor, who actually need this the most.
He does! Look it up
Excellent point!
Although a standard answer might be...."you value what you pay for" However, he should offer free scholarships
He does do that
I agree with your assessment of UPW. I just finished the one in west palm. There is some valuable guidance for everyone, but I think there is more value for the people less "emotion fortified" if you will. I felt that it was virtually 50% infomercial, and I actually got more out of his free you tube stuff. I will say that he's an impressive individual in his ability to read and reach people emotionally, and he loves what he does. UPW was like a concert and a religious revival. Date with Destiny? Doubt it
This American romantic fascination for Tony Robbins band wagon is unhealthy. His target customer is people who just can't quite find a way to be happy with themselves that he professes he has the answers. Thats altruistic platitude in spades (no personal interaction or one on one interest defies personal relevance). Always all guns blazing & has reinvented himself so often that he is the number one over patronising name dropper on the planet. If he really wanted to change the world he would have stood for President instead of dropping all their influential names like a Me 2. For 3 decades (its a numbers game) & new people keep swallowing.
Tony has helped tonssss of people- but I think I agree with this comment. It seems like a hype up event that wears off after a few weeks or even months. After you feel like you need that hype to get going, it becomes like an energy drink... you can’t seem to focus or accomplish anything without it, plus the crashing from the high.
I listed to Tony Robbins' 30 day tape program when I was 16 years old, and it changed my life. I started down a path of self reliance and control. And just like everyone else who gains control over their life, they start seeing things differently. I wouldn't recommend him to anyone else, even though absolutely helped me.
Why? Because when you find the solutions he provides to be temporary and specific, they no longer change you. I had to face myself, my sins, and I found God. And when God says fear him more than men, and take this seriously (commit) then you start to stop being afraid in life, just like how Tony Robbins taught me. But for a permanent reason, not a selfish and temporary one.
When you dedicate your life to helping others, you don't need tricks and gimmics. When you worry about other peoples problems more than your own (truly) you cannot be depressed. If you are still depressed, then go back to worrying about other people until you aren't any more. If you are still depressed, then you are lying to yourself about what you are worrying about.
In Proverbs it says worldy saddness leads to death, is this not depression leading to suicide written thousands of years ago? There is nothing new under the sun. Help someone else, you will find love very quickly. Do something real, stop lying to yourself, and if you are afraid, admit it to yourself. If you cower in your own fears, you are a coward. If you justify your fears, you are a liar to yourself.
It's all rather simple. Love others, and you will have love. You don't need thousands of dollars. Just humility, peace and personal sacrifice for the sake of others.
Peace to you
Very well said, thank you
Amen!!!
I listened to Tony’s 30-day Personal Power program about 15 years ago and it changed my life, too. I was super depressed and on the verge of starting anti-depressants when I began, and by the end I had the most productive work month ever and felt happier and more positive than I had in years. I agree with you, though, that this can be temporary and we have to continue working every day toward more permanent change. I think Tony would agree. He teaches people to jump start their lives and to use tricks to shift the focus of our thinking to a more positive direction. I still ask his morning power questions most mornings and use many other little things I learned. I love Tony Robbins and love many of his books and programs. I reread Notes from a Fridnd often. He’s been a huge influence and helped a lot of people. Many of today’s “gurus” use variations on Tony’s ideas. Mel Robbins’s “30 before 7:30” is a variation on Tony’s “Hour in Power,” her 5 Second Rule is a variation on Tony’s pattern interruption, etc. I’m not sure I’d get much out of UPW either, but as with most things, I think take what works, discard what doesn’t and don’t give up!
My daughter and I went to one day of UPW. We walked out after day 1. We absolutely concur with what you said. Waaaayyyy to long, to loud, just way over the top. We were not impressed with the event.
I just went to UPW in West Palm. I gotta say I have mixed views on what I experienced. I’ve read a few of his books and went to “YouTube University before. I do like some of his ways. LIVE I did like the information, direction, and his personal stories.
I admit Tony and his partner personally did work their asses off those days. WHAT I DIDNT LIKE was.... High 5’s every single minute from his team! Massages from other students were acceptable, but then being told to stick your fingers up your nose to say your limiting beliefs, and then give 5 high fives and hugs seemed alittle bit nasty ? ! He then took us back to the past and future bringing us to our worst nightmares... I get the point BUT The women next to me and others were screaming like they were in a Stephen King horror movie!
I came along way with self help education since 2009. Proctor, Rolm, Canfield, Assaraf, Tracy, Hopkins, Ziglar, Hardy, Cardone, and others. They all hit key patterns with different versions. I went to day 4, payed for parking and waited an extra half hour before I walked out. I didn’t “feel” good with these people anymore. AGAIN I did take home some good stuff, but wasn’t completely satisfied with it either.
Today was day 3 of the UPW event in South FL. I stayed the whole time and did the fire walk on day 1. It took over 2 hours just to get through the prep talking then another 1.5 hours in line waiting. Not to mention two blisters on my foot. I dint get it. All that sensationalism for what? I went to day 2 and left early. Went to day 3 known as Transformation Day. Gets you thinking but this guy really thinks he is a god. I agree with you on all the, well let me use one of his very common words, FUCKING dancing, massages, sounds, rave music, high fives, and other tactics it is just too much. Felt like a cult event. And to sum it up you are correct that he is a huge bragger and name drops the whole time. He is a rich fuck and wants you to know it. I won’t be going back to Day 4.
The music/ bass was just an ongoing assault. It felt like the music was being used as a brainwashing tool. I hated all of it and felt huge relief when I left.
Thanks for your POV - it proved insightful without being judgmental. I just saw Tony's doc on Netflix "I Am Not Your Guru" and it made me realized we all have choices: take what works and leave the rest for someone else.
"A fool and his money are soon parted."
Well articulated & there is a abundance of fools always swarming for more.
I agree that UPW is less than awesome. It's broad, salesy and waay too much massaging going on. However, having been to Date With Destiny twice....I can say that when you commit to Tony's deeper programs you really do get something more profound out of it.
I think much of what you dislike about UPW would be solved through DWD. That said, doesn't seem like you want to do that (it's a full week!).
I wrote about my experience with Date With Destiny here: raviraman.com/8-things-to-know-before-attending-tony-robbins-date-with-destiny/
I attended UPW back in March 2017 in LA and couldn’t wait to simply disconnect from it all. There were celebrities attending in the audience including Carmen Electra, Mark Burnett, Kardashians, Kanye and TR preached to the masa how we should not be bothering them and to give them respect all while the cameras were pointed at their doe eye faces in their VIP seats. Here i’m thinking, “aren’t we all EQUAL in your eyes Tony??!?”
TR, is no doubt the master peddler of hopes, dreams and love but for thousands of dollars which I was open to spend. By the end of it, I realized I could simply rely and do this all on my own as i’ve always done - FREE!! Now this might be a lot to take in from die hard TR fans including one I spoke to who was attending his 15th UPW but honestly, combine all the mindfulness, higher conscious, higher purpose, love and “you can do it” stuff readily available at your fingertips, and you have yourself your own live event!
For those who don’t have the time and are riddled with petty distractions, the TR events are concentrated expensive picker uppers and he is making a killing doing it. His events have become more about MARKETING TR events, the brand, products etc. etc. after that, you’re on your own.
He skillfully utilizes the “get under their skin......and ailing hearts” agenda to have you eating from the palm of his and his apostles hands. And, speaking of eating, for all the nutritional and fitness talks, the arena that event was held only sold processed junk food, sodas which was quickly scoffed down as breaks were minimal. I’ve never eaten so badly during those 3 days!
I respect Tony Robbins and he has been rewarded many folds for his genuine efforts to help others. He has a lot of powerful things to say but so does God, Ghandi and most of all, YOURSELF if we just acknowledge the LOVE and LIGHT within. I don’t believe he is the same TR I read in my teens years ago who enlightened me but rather one who is casting a shadow today. : (
Sincere.
I never attended his seminars. But watched some on Youtube, Videos. But always felt TR's not very helpful to me.
Thanks for sharing.
Love it! I think TR is a real con artist egomaniac. Sociopathic? Greedy?
Good for you that you walked out! He is a sham and caters to people’s insecurities and fears. I wouldn’t waste a cent on that charlatan.
Agree. They are predators who live off emotionally weak people's insecurities. These people are too lazy to invest their own time making sense of the world, and want one stop shop to simply complexity, and create meaning out of nothing. In old days, religion, priests and prophets used to provide that service. Now the whole drama has taken up a more modern form with the likes of TR. It's been a lucrative business since the beginning of human civilisation. Egyptian priest we even more rich and powerful than the pharaohs.
Agreed. Amen.
If someone needs help to be free from pain and can afford it, why not TR-UPW! You got what you came for without knowing it and left. You have moved on from that particular event (part way through) and built the life that you now have. Win Win I'd say.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts here, it's interesting to hear what others might have questioned you about leaving early, and what you did instead.
As a Firewalk Facilitator people always think I will be a big fan of Tony's, but he doesn't resonate with me. Every so often I get people come to my walks that have walked with him and thought 'there must be more to this than that', and then they find me.
The reality is, different ways of doing things are right for different people. I'm sure Tony creates a magical space for the people that are right for working with him, but well done for recognising you're not one of them.
thank you for the posting- I've been listening to Tony via you tube find a lot of repeats but your info gave me a lot to think about and set new goals- I feel very excited about my future and networking with folks such as yourself...
I have read your article and I heard what you had to say. Personally I am not a fan of Tony Robbins, I am a sensitive soul and I don't enjoy people screaming in other people faces to get them to change? I love Byron Katie and her work. I know she believes what Tony Robbins is doing is good work and so it might be... but it's not for everyone. He isn't for me, at one time I read a quote from him on a friends timeline, the quote was "Emotions are a habit!" I totally disagree with this. Emotions are a deep self sufficient way to deal with painful and stressful events in one's life. Emotions are how we connect to our nurturing spirit. Emotions are our ever living heartfelt center. Emotions are not bad. Emotions are not a habit - a habit instinctively is something hard to give up - we don't give up our emotions? We are born with them, we die with them. Anyway, the friend was obviously brainwashed by Tony because she didn't discuss my idea she just deleted me. This friend is supposed to be evolved and up leveled to Tony's teachings. I know many people who follow him and worship him. I just don't like his style and he is not for me... so I will not drink the cool aid. However, I have coached people who have been sucked into his bright lights and dancing cult like stage theatrics and in the end they have realized that the only one who can do the work and bring you to the alter is yourself. There is no level of Guru who can help you find peace. Peace come from within. People can go to a rock concert and be just as pumped and entertained with out the brainwashing. The sad thing is many peoples lives have been forever changed because they drank the cool aid of Tony Robbins. Thank you for your insight.
Karen, you don't seem to understand what TR means when he says "emotions are a habit".
It simply means that you have control and influence over your emotions and that is not HIS teaching but the teaching of any serious therapist in the whole world. Yes, emotions are a habit. You can influence them, you can guide them, you can control them to a certain degree, and that alone is the difference between happy and unhappy people. That alone is the reason why there are poor children in the third world being happy and lively and millionäires with families and careers ending their lives with suicide. The outer circumstances don't matter that much - it is what we do with them. If you deny this, you are giving away responsibility for your own life and happiness and you will always be a slave of the outer circumstances.
I know his seminars only from Youtube, and I agree that they are too superficial. They are more like a short term energy boost than a deep growing opportunity. However, I have red his first book, 'Unlimited Power', and it goes deep into detail and offers an enormous amount of value when you are troubled with chronic problems or pain and search for a way to better your life.
Hey Noah! Interesting read and you're obviously huge successful and intelligent but I hope you don't mind if I (politely) challenge you a little... Before you read this I just wanted to clarify that I am in no way affiliated to Tony Robbins or any company related to him. I also completely agree with your comments around "cheese" and thinking that you wouldn't get much out of the UPW experience. I remember sitting there the first day and thinking the exact same thing. But boy was I wrong... It saddens me you let your subconscious pre-judgements influence you enough to walk out.
In any experience you have the choice to take from it as much, or as little as you decide. It's actually one of the core learnings of UPW. If you decide that you're not going to get much out of the experience, then that's exactly what will happen - especially if you actually forego the experience entirely ;-).
So unfortunately your pre-judgements and the fact you walked out mean you can't possibly give UPW/Tony/Or the results you can get - a fair assessment. You can't half ass 20% of a workout plan and then give a public review about the plan that influences other people?
Had you stayed past the first day and pushed through your limiting beliefs (that you were obviously experiencing - even though you say you weren't, I can see them written in your words), and committed your heart and mind to the experience then I have no doubt it would've had an immensely positive impact on your life... AS LONG as you committed to the on-going work that's required to maintain it. It's not a 3-4 day seminar, it's an immersive experience that's designed to give you a breakthrough moment, combined with the necessary framework and exercises to maintain that breakthrough.
The reason why it's not one day is because the seminar isn't a quick fix. Tony talks about living an outstanding quality of life which only comes from constant training. The best athletes in the world don't work out once a week and become amazing in their field. They practise with motivated intent, religiously. And that's what UPW is designed to build and has been proven to build. It's a platform to create rituals in your every day life to break patterns, and live an amazing life.
There's a reason why he brings all the cheese. There's a reason why he name drops. There's a reason why he claps the way he does. There's a reason why it's 3-4 days. And there's a reason why he makes you dance, hug and high five strangers.
Some of it's related to sales and some of it's related to pre-positioning people to opening up to what he teaches. But all of it is there for a purpose.
UPW has been taken by more people than any other life coaching program in history which means that it's been refined more than any other program. Am I saying this means that you have to accept every thing the program says or does? No. Am I saying that you shouldn't let the negative elements you don't agree with dictate your entire experience of it. Yes - 100%.
The reason why I'm taking the time to write this is not because I'm keyboard warrior trying to fill his day in. It's because you're an extremely accomplished and successful person, and we NEED people like you to dream bigger than your ever thought possible. We need you to saddle up and lead change in the world.
You may feel like at this moment of your life you don't need the experience.. Well you'll never bloody know if you don't actually do it. And the whole idea of UPW is that no matter what stage you are at in your life, there's always more to unlock. If you've accomplished enough or you feel every aspect of your life is fantastic (relationships, business, love, contribution to the world..), then I'd say you need to go through the experience more than anyone.
So I challenge you and ANYONE who reads this.
I challenge you to go to UPW or DWD with a completely open mind and heart.
I challenge you to commit to push through the cheese, any other doubts (i.e. your limiting beliefs) and get as much as you can out of the experience. Laugh, cry, hug and high five strangers while you tell them your darkest fears and your most aspirational dreams.
Then I challenge you to commit to two months of daily rituals to implement the frameworks.
If at the end of those two months you don't feel like it's helped unleash a greater power inside you. Find me and I'll refund you the cost of your ticket.
I absolutely agree with you! You can’t start something, quit halfway through and just say it wasn’t for you because you are uncomfortable. For example if you are not gay but society convinces you that you should give it a shot. You can’t just not have intimate relations with the same sex just because half way through it freaks you out. Then you certainly can’t write a review sharing your experience unless you went all the way! You’ve really got to challenge yourself bro! This is the dogma the wandering masses adhere to. They can’t stand on their own two feet so they need people like Tony Robbins to shake things up for them for a few days. Nothing has changed over thousands of years. Tony is one of the confidence peddlers selling to the insecure and good for him! He is making a killing and honestly he really needs to take it the next step and form a religion. There will always be those, who instead of searching for the healing they need from their Creator ( yes God) will look for a stronger man to guide them. Is it sad...nope, it is is just emptiness! TR is more than willing to sell you a whole bunch of universal feel good platitudes mixed with some awkwardness that pulls you out of normalcy and I say good for him. He knows his audience. He knows what kind of people are showing up to these events.
I have never been to any of his seminars or purchased anything of his retail. I bought his Unlimited Power book at a used bookstore, unread, for 2$. I am by no means an expert with his work. That being said, reading your post brought up some things I would like to share.
Some the dancing and craziness goes back to that Unlimited Power book, he's trying to get you to change your state. He believes state and plays a role in your ability to grow (connecting to the content). He also believes behavior comes from your state has a direct connection to your behavior and your actions. Your state is influenced by your physical being (posture, breathing, energy+nutrition levels, etc) and also by your internal representations of what's happening (how you see the world through your previous experiences -the way two people can see the same thing differently) He is herding the group to an excited state to get them out of mental and physical barriers. This gets the crowd into a favorable state for themselves and the people around them. It's similar to the stuff athletes do to get them into a performance mode.
This sounds like it also helps make additional sales for Tony's other ventures. If the stuff works and you need it fine, but I know I'm genetically incapable of lavish retail spending. I will say that the idea of getting people to realize they have the power to change their minds about what is happening to them is powerful, because a practice of deliberately altering your state is a part of self mastery. (The idea of separating yourself from your previous experiences and emotions is some of what 'Your Erroneous Zones' - Dr. Wayne Dyer is about.) Getting a majority to see that point can't be easy, but it's definitely lucrative. Generally people are slaves to bad habits, experiences and preconceived ideas+generalizations... So for some people a seminar can be the only way to get the experience. For me, the books are enough.
Someone I know is about to go to a "Life Mastery Event a 4 day event that has already cost $3500 .Now at the last minute they have asked for $1200 for an additional "meal plan" for 4 days.Interestingly this "meal plan" cost drops to $850 if one stays at the Loews Coronado Bay resort where this event is going to be held .Contact me if you would like to have the document that mentions the meal plan etc .Absolute rip off if you ask me!
That you would have to deflect so much bad faith against you for having a critical opinion before you even shared shows me that this is like a cult. The book "Bright Sided" has much to say about self help and Tony Robbins. Charging 2,000 dollars for a ticket? Are you kidding me? Tell me more about his good intentions.
You don't know me from a can of paint. I am a firm believer that you must offer or present a solution to the problem. A very successful business woman told me right before starting college, "If you are not a part of the solution, you are a part of the problem." That is why so often, I DO NOT offer my opinion without presenting a solution. I would love to see you take this blog post a step further by offering a solution that does just that --- by either facilitating or finding a very capable and energetic equivalent to provide a ONE DAY SEMINAR. What's my point? None of what Tony Robbins, Oprah Winfrey or YOU (:-)) say, for that matter, is new and could not be found in a book or the somewhere on the internet. The issue is IMPLEMENTATION. People need help with that. Why? Because change is hard. It takes perseverance. I takes commitment. That is what people need help with. If you ask me to help you with it. I will. No agenda, here. I just love to seeing outliers and mavericks make things happen.
"If you are not a part of the solution, you are a part of the problem."
Complete, utter, b.s.
This is what's known as a "False Dichotomy" or "False Binary". (Don't believe me? Look it up.)
The bottom line is that Tony Robbins is an expert salesman, and the product Tony Robbins is selling is... wait for it... Tony Robbins.
The only difference between a Tony Robbins seminar and a Faith Healing seminar is that at least at the end of a Tony Robbins seminar the "healed" attendees don't go home and die because they were convinced to stop taking their chemo and radiation therapy.
Then again, judging from some of the suicidal people in attendance at Tony's seminars, maybe some of them actually do go home and die afterwards.
What a sad, tragic waste of time, money, and attention for these poor desperate people who think that a charismatic huckster who's suckering them for untold millions of dollars is going to change their life for them.
P.T. Barnum was right -- there really is one born every minute. And they all grow up to attend a Tony Robbins seminar.
The comparison of Tony Robbins to a faith healer hit’s the nail on the head. His Energizing “praise and worship” tactics are very similar to those used in mega churches to get people pumped up and feeling good to open up the pocket books for TR merchandise. People want to feel good and get energized and that is what TR does, but after the dust settles there is not manual or tool kit that can be implemented that will ensure you don’t need another dose of TR. Great article.
"If you are not a part of the solution, you are a part of the problem." absolute b.s. sad that four years of college did not educate you otherwise, perhaps ur not in a good school or major which enlightens u enough. some problems have no solutions and u either see it or pretend you don't. please don't masturbate to the idea that there will always be resolutions.
I like your solution! Implementation IS needed and necessary for those of us stuck and incapable or afraid of change. In general, people don't change their lives when things are going smoothly. I am in a VERY uncomfortable place right now, and seeking assistance in implementing change in my life, but I didn't know exactly what I was looking for until I read your response...thank you!!
E Douglas, I could not agree more. As an aside can I put my implement in you cause you are one fine looking lady!
Actually I think you had a successful seminar. You went to discover how to unleash the power whithin and you did just that, Bit faster than 2.5 days , however you did do it Cheers
Great way of looking at it - you are right!!!
Great post. I appreciate your honesty.
I believe maybe you just passed the phase that you would need to be in such a seminar. Like you said, you aren't better or worse than anyone because of it. You are already part o masterminds, already have a great company, maybe the seminar doesn't make sense for you at this time in your life. You review was awesome and also gave me a short reminder of all the great sales tools tony uses when he talks.
It's not self-help if you need a carnival hawker pushing his wares on you. These guys are all the same. They're master manipulators with one goal: to sell their supplements, books, tapes, etc. and make themselves millionaires by preying on self-loathing and gullible idiots.
What empirical evidence that Tony Robbins has helped anyone improve their life or career?
Or better how do you know that reading a Tony Robbins book has done more to improve a person motivation compared to bowing a dvd from the library or watching some tony Robbins videos on Youtube?
"I decided it would be better for me to work on my specific issues, one-on-one with a friend": well said....... nothing beats one-on-one discussions.
It seems like you didn't go in with a need that the seminar would have been able to fulfill, needs you could already meet on your own as you are already operating at an empowered level. If you had gone in with a different purpose (like learn as much as you can) you would have stayed regardless of little annoyances.
Hello
I went to a free seminar today in Brussels (Belgium) of UPW Tony Robbins...
First of all, I was amazed about the give away, impossible I thought, must be that they are going to harass me with purchase goods etc... this wasn't the case, only... Tony himself wasn't hosting. Instead, some guy named Allan came up to the stage. Ok, minor disappointment, but seriously, what dit I expect for no money?
So I decided to still be enthousiastic about the whole thing.
During the 3hour session, I learned nothing new. I don't really follow TR, however, I am an active self development learner and I knew everything Allan preached from a previous way too expensive coaching seminar I attended.
At the end, the sale pitch began.
So I left...
Don't get me wrong. I know for a act that those 4 days with TR would be mindblowing, energetic, incredible. But that is just it: it would only be those 4 days. Afterwards, you return in you real life, and you try to apply it into it, but slowly it fades...
My first coaching experience which resembled a lot to the TR experience (though in smaller groups) offered me a lot of power and strength, and it was a great eye opener. Nothing more I'm afraid.
So spending that much money on 4days, to me, is crazy! You will never truly gain the power and strength for a lifetime. You will need to return, spend a lot of money, and preferably, have one on one sessions, which are simply out of reach for most of us.
Do I believe in what he is teaching? Absolutely!
Do I think you need this to find your power? Absolutely not!
Just listen to yourself, feel within your heart, and move along your path as fits you best. You don't have to spend money to that extend to reach your full potential.
In the end, it is the American dream, of being able to live and earn well, beyond well, becoming a milionair. That isn't what drives me though... and worshiping someone can be dangerous if you ask me. Worship yourself, the rest will follow. You don't need to become a milionair, just be happy with who you are.
Thanks and fully agree with you, even being a great fan of TR books and videos, but the change must and will come from within anyway. Nice article by the way, its always interesting and healthy to read not only the positive but the negative, even if they are still personal experiences.
This is such a well-written article. I love it. Thank you for writing this!
So....... you asked for a refund??? Did you get it? Good for you for walking out. All the hoopla and rah rah rah is good for the moment, then we go back to our reality called life.
You brought trust and secret yearning to this event, looking for your own way to Unleash the Power Within. What you describe feels more like loss of control and personal space than meaningful breakthroughs.
Tony Robbins offers legendary energy and crowd control. No wonder his cult-like leadership rallies supply an addictive surge of external motivation followed by claustrophobic resistance for many. Some choose to stay plugged into the Tony Robbins programs for security. Many others feel resistance you felt over a loss of autonomy and real connections.
Why not use Tony Robbins contributions and insights more effectively by using every part of your brain for lasting rejuvenation and change as you chose to do. Intrinsic motivation fuels many of our higher-level drives in life, including those you mention. Without more autonomy, most of us are more likely to let go of public inhibitions at a 3-day staged event without any lasting fulfillment.
It was interesting and refreshing to read. And I didn't even know who Tony Robbins is five minutes ago.
Thank you for your feedback! Did you ask for the refund? 🙂
thank you for the posts. I first attended a tony robbins event in the 1980's in California. Following, I purchased his Unlimited Power cassettes and listened repeatedly for months. I was so enamored, at the expense of many hours of my time transcribed every meaningful phrase. In the upcoming one year, I read and reread my hours of time investment. Then in the mid 1990's I started my own business. Incorporating some of his principles, I did feel justified and comforted with some of my hesitations while navigating the many aspects of business management and hopes, successes and failures along the path to eventual stability. In 2013 I attended Date with Destiny in Palm Desert. After the first day of DD I signed up for the business Seminar in Florida in January 2014. Returning home from DD, I promptly cancelled the Florida seminar. I did learn some valuable tools at DD but the exhausting hours attending the 5 or 6 days of worthlessness watching prancing and dancing by Tony on stage was convincing. DD usually began each day at about noon or later and lasted well into the midnight hour or after. the meat of this 5 or 6 day course could be condensed into 2 to 3 days and not run past 6 pm. I was considering signing up for UPW in Florida but not now after reconsidering my last experience and reading posts on this blog.
I have never been to one of TR's events. I have followed his work since 1992. I totally respect him. Your articles hasn't changed my view about wanting to go to see him, but what your post does reinforce, that is consistent with all these guys (TR, Brendan Burchard, Robert Kyosaki, Dean Graziosi, Robin Sharma...) is their endless selling. We ALL know they started without privilege, we all know they have interacted / taught the most successful, wealthiest people in the world, we ALL know that they have turned around the lives of millions of people. I want them to stop selling and just continue to provide the great content that they believe in. If their audiences don't believe in the value of their content, then they won't ever come back to experience more. Selling won't convince them of that. So stop selling at every opportunity and FOCUS on the PURPOSE of the content. I think this is TR's mantra!
First, I don't agree with the disparaging comment about Jehovah's Witnesses. Second, I agree that the "massage your neighbor" thing would cause me to leave. Too weird. I believe that Tony Robbins seminars are in reality a sales effort to sell other products and more seminars. I would bypass Tony Robbins and to get into Brian Tracy if I were you.
Great article, I've been to quite a few Tony Robbins events. Its a bit like going drinking when you're a teenager. Great in its time and place. Takes strength to go against the flow. Thanks for sharing.
My husband, and father of 3, attended a UPW event this year. It's the worst thing that could have ever happened to our family. The hype, the high-fiving, the hypnotic music, strobe lighting, the pumped up hightened emotions, the excitement, etc. It changed him, at a cost.
Obviously, to go there in the first place my husband was searching for something, some meaning and a way to feel good about himself. Most of us need a bit of help at different stages in our lives to deal with the inevitable: losing loved ones, issues of aging, relationship problems, health and diet, weight issues, sickness, feeling lonely, depression, and more.
Instead of helping my husband by giving him the tools to deal with life events, this has given him an additional distraction to remove him and distance him further from his life, his beautiful children and our family as a whole. His new "healthy eating and nutrition" program, that he adopted from UPW, means that he no longer eats with any of us as a family (which was one of the few remaining times we actually got him to ourselves because he works so much).
He is now obsessed by his diet, his own individual goals and everything UPW. He is connected with people he met at UPW, as is encouraged at the event, and they all support each other. They even have their own language, motivational phrases that they learned at the event. People that are not "in the club" just don't understand and are naysayers.
I don't say much to my husband about this because this is his journey, his choice and his way of finding a path that suits him best. I respect that. We all deal with life issues differently.....and I'm very much in favour of personal development. But in this case, it has contributed to the break-up of our family and 3 children being confused as to where the Dad they once knew went.
Goodness, that's so very sad... really hope that it eventually starts turning around for your family. Maybe you could talk to your husband and let him know how being able to eat with hims makes you all feel? All the best.
Heart wrenchingly sad for me to read. I'm sorry for your loss (which is what people post on FB after others' loved ones die) came to mind.
Linda,
My heart goes out to you. Sounds like you have been incredibly patient with your husband's "mid life crisis" as you hold down the fort. As a Tony Robbins graduate from a 10 day intensive in Hawaii, including the firewalk and also a weekend in the SF Bay area, I can tell you that the optimal outcome for me was the amazing "night out" experience my small team shared together in Molokai as we had an unprecedented opportunity to be invited to the leprosy colony. I met the oldest living leper and we entertained the lepers, who had never seen white people except their doc. My team which was the NO 1 team in the conference for the better part of 7 days (there were 1000 people attending) was simply great. I met some super folks, one of whom I still communicate and one of whom is now dead, aka, amazing entrepreneur and American Patriot who had big success before attending the conference. That said, I do not think that Tony Robbins, himself would advise the dissolution of family is a great outcome of his seminars. I am not saying that I think Tony is my guru, he clearly is not, God almighty is for sure. For me, it was a great "vacation" from a busy work life, an opportunity to fly to Hawaii, great entertainment and experiences. It occurs to me that your husband is "searching" and the time with Tony and his new friends who are all currently drinking the same tea is a priority for him. Seems like the Tony Robbins transformational seminar sort of "scratched his itch" so to speak. That said, it sounds to me like he has the best opportunity at hand with his own family which has been "left behind" not knowing the "jargon" and "Tony Speak" that compels some people to relate to one another. Tony is a fantastic marketer and has understood how to amass great wealth through the evolution of his company built on the hunger and thirst for people to find meaning in this life. Is that a crime? No. Is there anything fundamentally wrong with it? No. I call it free markets and individual choice. He, himself, does apply his principles well and an undefined percentage of his audience manages to find success that they attribute, in part, to him. I most definitely have adopted the notion of "adding value" but did it prior to attending. I can honestly say that for me personally, my foray into Tony Robbins did not add one red cent to my bottomline. It was entertainment and education. As it relates to personal growth, yes I think that there is some value there. The problem I see here is that you, your husband's wife, partner and Mother of his children did not attend the conference such that you would know now of what he speaks. He is now off in a world that does not include you or your children and your family life. At least, had you attended the conference together, you would be beamed up on his new perceptions, whether you found it useful or not. Now, you are excluded. All that said, it does not sound as though this "morphing" of your husband is constructive to a healthy family life. You cannot blame this on Tony Robbins, candidly. However, I hear and feel your frustration. I can assure you that nothing anyone learns at a Tony Robbins intensive is worth losing your cherished family over. I think that Tony would have to agree if queried. You are obviously a good and faithful wife, Mother and supporter. Maybe you and your husband could sign up for a married couples workshop weekend with a faith based community and work on your interpersonal relationship relative to what God has intended for marriage...not what Tony Robbins has taught in a weekend. Linda, find yourself a women's bible study to help you navigate these challenging times. Do not give up on your husband and marriage. Keep vigilant and pray. God can do all things. Trust in him, first and foremost. I can honestly say that I did not have the relationship with God when I was a Tony Robbins firewalker and seminar participant that I have today. While I am glad I did the training and have some great memories, I can assure you that NOTHING Tony Robbins can teach or share will EVER CHANGE my gratitude for my relationship with Jesus Christ as a professing Christian. God is FOR families...not against. God is for MARRIAGE COVENANT...not against and Jesus, himself had a whole lot to say about the value of children and gave strong admonitions in scripture for those who caused harm to them in anyway. So, Linda...be encouraged! I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Hi Linda. It sucks that you're going through that. It sounds like your husband has been looking for a distraction from life's stresses and turned to TR instead of a more typical vice like alcohol, drugs or an affair. It's all still about controlling and self-medicating pain, though, and when anything turns into an obsession it can get difficult for the loved ones who are caught up in it (or left behind because of it).
I would be cautious about blaming UPW specifically, though. UPW is just the focal point he chose. If it wasn't that, it would likely be something else. I hope you don't mind, but I wanted to share an experience from my own family that I feel relates.
My own mother did a similar thing with church and it drove my atheist father crazy, to the point where they had heated arguments about her going. What my dad didn't see was her pain: she had MS, and eventually took her own life to escape the disease escalating to its later stages.
Church was one of her few comforts and I have no doubt that my dad's lack of support or tolerance for her coping mechanism contributed to the isolation and depression that ultimately caused her to do what she did.
What I've since realised is that my dad had a very specific idea of what he wanted his family life to be, and he did not tolerate anything that detracted from it. My mom chose to grow in a way which wasn't compatible with what he wanted... so instead of adapting, or understanding, he became bitter and resentful at church and controlling towards her about it.
He did this because he himself WASN'T growing or doing anything to make himself happy. It was easier to blame my mom for that than actually take up a hobby himself which would force him out of his routine.
I am not suggesting you are like my dad, of course. (Or that your husband might do what my mom did - God forbid!). But it occurs to me there is a similarity there in terms of family patterns. We get used to the way we think our families should operate and then when they stop being that way we blame the other person for growing or changing... but sometimes it can actually highlight that we need to change something ourselves.
I don't know how you might go about communicating better with your husband to let him know how you feel about the change. There's probably a big chance he might get defensive (like my mom did) if he thinks you're trying to shut down something he loves. Butbeing the dutiful wife and mom and NOT speaking your truth sounds like it is also presenting problems for you, holding it all in. Could the "When you do this, I feel this." approach be helpful - so he feels more empathy for you than control from you? It's an approach I WISH my parents had been mature enough to take; I believe it may have helped them a lot over the years.
I apologise if any of my story seem irrelevant or my advice unwarranted. I can relate to the pain of seeing a partner become more self absorbed and distant from my own relationship experiences. I guess I wanted to challenge you on where you're placing the blame because feeling hopeless about these things can make it even harder. And you don't deserve that. Sounds like you have enough on your plate already.
Did you get a refund? It would say a lot for Robbins' integrity if a refund was 'cheerfully' given. Thank you for having the sense to follow your inner compass and walk out when it felt like the right thing to do.
I suspect legal reasons
Thanks for sharing and totally can relate. I had a similar experience when I attended a friends church. The preacher sure knew how to keep the crowd on in awa. He made high holy promises (that I questioned as they came out his mouth). In any case, the energy was good, the preacher was very present but I didn't connect with him. I actually felt I could go up there and teach him a few things about eye contact and crowd engagement.
In any case, big-ups to you and I see now reason to feel embarrassed. Your money should be invested in things that speak or relate to you on a deeper level.
Stay cool,
RR
Thanks for the article, I totally relate. I attended UPW recently, I loved the high energy, walking on fire but could do without strangers touching me.... I stuck it out until day 3 and left. I felt kind of embarrassed at first to leave a day early - "I'm not playing full out" as they would say, but realized my time is more valuable. Tony has some great insights but the up-selling I found extremely distasteful.... if you go you will get value out of it, just don't get caught up in the hype that you're not committing to your life if you don't sign up for the next event or coaching sessions etc.... (people were literally running to sign up... Tony can sell ice to a dead Eskimo - that we can all learn from 🙂
You got the good stuff out of it. Day 1/2/3 are great. Day 4 was all pseudoscience bs and marketing. He only talks on day 1/3 anyways. If I do UPW again I’ll skip day 4, it actually detracts a lot from UPW.
This is really great. I feel totally recreated. I think to ny robbins makjes a massive difference to the mass. If you are someone who is committed to personal growth though. I think tony is just a bit light on. Have you ever checked out landmark education. It sometimes gets a bad rap. But if you are discerning and willing to be responsible as you clearly are. I think you may get what you are looking for. I recently walked away from a company called Winning International with Ryan madgriaz. He is a tony robbins university grad. He portrays himself as the coaches coach. But in truth. The whole experience was low level high pressure sales alot of rah rah and very little substance. It was a substantial investment that they give no refund for and i was left feeling very ashamed that i had been hoodwinked. But i needed to walk away for my own self respect. I have never experienced anything life it. It makes me very hesitant to take anything serious about what tony robbins teachers. Like you i dont think he is a bad person. Just marketing to the masses. Thanks for sharing your experience. It is difficult to go against the flow but it also reveals a great deal about who you are.
If you haven't read the book Quiet by Susan Cain, you should. I think it would shed a lot of light on how you felt that day. She even attended a seminar as research and it is quite telling. I found your article because I was curious about TR after reading her book. It would be interesting to see what you think about it.
This book actually did wonders for me! It's amongst some of the best books I have read all my life :-).
Hey - if you're interested in TR I highly recommend watching his documentary on netflix!! It will show you what his seminars are really like... and will probably totally creep you out...
I agree with you with regards to a few of your points, but otherwise, strongly stand in opposition of what you have written here.
Yes, Tony Robbins does go a little off point at times, and id you are the type that has to have everything organized and compartmentalized, I can see how this could get unnerving. However, his energy and enthusiasm is powerful at keeping his audience's attention despite his meandering tendencies. I, too, detest having strangers touch me as well as touching strangers, let alone people I am friends with, so the excessive massaging was extremely unnecessary and uncomfortable (and not in a positive, self-development way). I also agree that he should allow for more time for conversing with each other - I kept feeling rushed to get the exercises done when we had to work with our partners.
Aside from all that, I am surprised that someone of your personal history of success and experience would make the decision to quit something so early on as to walk out of a 4 day workshop after just 7 hours! $2,000 or $20 dollars, money aside, if you commit to learning from an experience, how can you give up after not even finishing out the first day in its entirety? You think you spent your time better by the description you gave of your day, the day following your first day at Tony's event? What you described you did could have been done any day of your life. You made the decision and paid for it, to attend his workshop for 4 days (3.5) and you couldn't last more than 7 hours. You mentioned Tony saying "Play fill out with me". That doesn't mean play for 7 hours then leave. If you think that you are too wise and too successful to gain some sort of insight from someone who is lightyears further in life and far more experienced and successful than you are and probably ever will be, then you have much deeper issues than you may be ready to admit, my friend.
I don't know you, nor do I have any sort of personal interest with regards to Tony Robbins other than I did gain a lot from the one event I attended (same one as you did - for 7 hours anyways), but I have been told I have incredible intuition and just by what I gathered from the way you wrote this article, you sound like you have a huge ego problem - and I don't mean the way you laid out your accomplishments in the beginning of your blog. I mean what you say does not match up or sound consistent throughout this write-up. You say "Do you think I'm dumb enough to bash one of my highest profile customer's? Hell no, I wrote this article with love". Then you go about to say how many people take away a lot from his event, and that if you are lacking love or the feeling of being enough, this event is for you. Then, "for a few days you will feel loved. For a few days you will feel like you are enough". Your bitter sarcasm is just oozing through your words in those statements. "Do you think I'm dumb enough to bash one of my highest profile customer's?" YES. YES, I think you are dumb enough to do that. And what's more is that I think you are dumb enough to at the very least, exaggerate the idea that Tony Robbins is even a customer of a business you claim to own.
Do I think you should have left his seminar after just 7 hours? No. Do I think you have a strong point for why you left his seminar after just 7 hours? No. Do I think you feel embarrassed and disappointed for walking out? Yes, and not just because you clearly admit that (and subsequently attempt to downplay those statements), but because you felt the need to almost therapeutically write this blog in perhaps an attempt to self-soothe and prove to somebody (yourself?) that you aren't a complete egocentric, stubborn-headed, insecure, out-of-touch individual who couldn't see past his own limitations to allow some much needed personal development and learning from a renowned expert.
Your friend who mn you quoted on the subject of quitting, sounds like a complete buffoon.
I hope for your sake one day you might grow up and begin to realize that nothing you havd accomplished in this life will ever make you exempt from learning more.
Customers not customer's...there's a couple other small typos from autocorrect that drive me nuts but i hit submit too fast before I had the chance to proof read. ?
Daaammnn.....good roast! ?
Way over-the top harsh and judgmental. And undeserved. He was merely sharing his impressions, not lashing out angrily like you are. Putting your total trust in someone else to sort you out doesn't make you the fount of all wisdom. There are some justifiable criticisms out there of courses like this (which I'm sure others here will go into). You need to keep an open mind - and not just to the guru who makes a fortune by using every tried and tested trick in the book to open up a few blocks in a controlled environment. You may well find that back in the real world we put those barriers back up because sometimes they're what help us survive.
I think you already knew Tonys work and techniques. You were hoping for something new and to get blown away but Tony's event actually worked brilliantly for you. You left early and you were motivated. You didn't need the whole event, you went off and did what you needed to do to set up a plan to move ahead. Tony's event fired you up so much you didn't need to see it all, you were ready to go.
I read awaken the giant 25 years ago and in some ways it was i believe life changing. I watch his youtube videos and they are inspirational. But i have nagging doubts. His own personal success is from selling his own advice not from some other added value. My brother is in his cult and attended his seminars among others and he is a flawed and harmful man and sometimes recited tony robbins catchphrases as he behaved like an entitled two year old. I admit I am not perfect either. I perceive beauty and value in tony robbins and his advice, but there is an essential truth that robbins wealth comes from selling you the idea that he can transform your life. While to some extent his advice is deeply powerful, it is definitely true that not all of his devotees are going to become millionaires, and while using his advice to grasp at your dreams you *might* or might not achieve them but you are definitely fulfilling *his* financial dreams.
But you attend Tony Robbins seminar. Learn something from it and even take some notes and use them. On top of that you claim a refund and go on to write all this to discourage others from interacting with him? You certainly benefitted! You have not shown any scientific evidence that what Tony's methods did not and do no work. I think it is unfair and better let people make their own judgments and let Tony do his work and help those who appreciate his service.
Exactly, let people make their own choices. Especially if you didn't actually attend the whole things and therefore can't vouch for it. Everyone is affected differently and anyone who attends will gain new insight, regardless if it's the insight you were looking for when you arrived.
But you attend Tony Robbins seminar. Learn something from it and even take some notes and use them. On top of that you claim a refund and go on to write all this to discourage others from interacting with him? You certainly benefitted! You have not shown any scientific evidence that what Tony's methods did not and do no work. I think it is unfair and better let people make their own judgments and let Tony do his work and help those who appreciate his service.
Thanks for the article.
I've never been to a Tony conference, but I'm not into gurus.
I wouldn't have liked strangers touching me and massaging me, under the guise of it being some sort of awakening experience.
As long as lost people feel paying big money will help them find some sort of magical quickening to enlightenment, the Tonys of the world will take their money.
Tell people it takes hard work and effort to actually self improve, for free and they won't believe you, but that's basically all the Tonys of the world are saying.
From what I've heard him say, it's not new information, people will pay for an adrenalin fix tho, from what I've seen you may as well go on a roller coaster.
Look at the fruit the tree bears.
In this life of living fast, being super busy and unconscious it seems it's bread self help junkies, who buy every self help book, and go to every guru talk, instead of standing still and listening to what's going on inside.Anything to keep busy and avoid themselves.
The most humble man wears simple clothes, speaks truth and charges nothing.Seek those and do the work.
Mentors, not showmen.
Thanks again for the article, a good honest heads up.
Did you get a refund? It would say a lot for Robbins' integrity if a refund was 'cheerfully' given. Thank you for having the sense to follow your inner compass and walk out when it felt like the right thing to do.
Jenga: "The most humble man wears simple clothes, speaks truth and charges nothing." Thank you for that!
"Mentors, not showmen".
I like that! Well said.
Wonderful read. I don't like his statement that (and I may not be saying it exactly) it's OK to change people. I think that's unethical and a disrespect of our God-given free will. But then, that's why I'm not up there on stage...
Love your honesty, didn't know what to think at first but then you said...Empowered to make choices about what I want, and empowered to turn down the things I don't. Damn! That's the whole point, glad you wrote this article. I'll remember that next time I am locked in a situation i really do not want to be in. Thank you.
Hey,
Great article!
I prefer not to use my personal name and have used a pseudonym. Thank you for your understanding.
I can relate to this article as I also have joined one of Tony's events in London.
Although already around 10 years ago, it seems still quite similar to what I have experienced that time.
I did not ran out on the event with also lasted then 3 days. But the 3th day, I really start feeling the dread. I have kept an open mind and joined with everything, kept my judgement for afterwards. First days this worked quite well, you can only experience it totally when you immerse yourself.
Nevertheless, day 3 it just was getting too much. More questions start popping up concerning what the hell am I doing here ... massaging again ... jumping up like a monkey again ..... . It finally sank in this is not really useful for me. I started refusing to join, rejected people who invited and started observing the whole "show" as an outsider.
Tony indeed is quite entertaining as explained in the article. Probably that is also why I kept going for a few days.
But he does up-sell, and he does up-sell quite hard. This one I totally DISLIKE.
He works with psychology & neuro-linguistic programming. Some way, it is ethically quite irresponsible what he does.
He is trying to get you to your most weakest point, just to up-sell you his unbelievable expensive Life & Wealth Mastery program on the Fiji Island.
Of course only with a limited discount which is only available at the event, which has to be applied for immediately, while your are in the current pump up and emotional state.
I saw people running to the backside at the event to fill in the application notes. I am pretty sure some people will have accumulated debt instead of wealth!!
In all, to me personally, it all seems to be an excuse. An excuses in a way you think someone else has to fix something for your. You need this or that event, Tony or another self help guru has all the answers.
You definitely would feel at that event all your issues will be solved when you sign up for the Fiji program.
Probably then again to be offered another up sell at the Fiji program.
Anyway, like write in the article. I got to understand you better get of your ass and start working yourself instead of being lazy and expect someone else has the answers for you.
There is indeed a lot of conflict in what Tony does as has done like the example with nutrition and supplement. He even has given false information in his books which he afterwards has rectified.
His books have a lot of contradictions. There has been a website before who has written this out. Unfortunately, this website seems to have gone down.
Anyway, it all does not matter so much.
The real purpose you join is to help yourself.
Just keep an open mind if you do join, but also keep an open mind not to fall in there games.
There are no guru's with all the answers for you!!
Thank you for all your messages. I am at somewhat of an impasse (have left high stress job in the corporate world and want to set up own business) and was thinking of going to the next UPW in London in April. However, I think that the hype and theatrics (don't get me wrong, I love the cheering and intense attitude) combined with loud music and constant physical interaction with the neighbours, would be too distracting for me. Or worse, start creating a "I don't want to be here" feeling which would make me feel extremely guilty about spending that kind of money and not enjoying it 100%.
I will start to watch some of the videos online and take it from there.
Can Tony make me see the only the inner beauty in women, so I can have really hot girls?
Banana hands sells dreams.
This is a great post. Thanks! I've never read anything by TR, so I have no personal opinion on him to go by. But, I love your honesty and thoroughness in telling us why you went and why you walked out.
Thank you for your honesty. I have found him to be all over the place and it's confusing and annoying.
Thank you for your honesty. I, personally, have never been to one of Tony's sessions. But I am very glad that this experience inspired you to create a "Personal Development Day" for yourself. What a great follow-up to a not-so-great beginning. Best wishes to you.
The reason why people have been blinded by him is that he is just a very expensive library of information. He has only created his wealth and his success from reciting information that has been out there already and making it into a stage show.
To all his followers, i pose one question: before motivational speaking what was his claim to fame, did he create a business empire ? was he a great leader/innovator in a chosen field of his. Save your money. Learn from the truly successful people.
Tony Robbins teaches nothing more than what 10 books and 10 you tube channels dont teach you from authentic successful people.
If you need important medical and psychological advice please do diligent research and dont rely on dangerous sell pitches.
What people need to understand is the 'cult' factor of glorified salespeople like Tony Robbins. Tony and people like Tony that have created their business out of simply networking techniques and spin nothing more and nothing less, play on the vulnerability of people not happy with there lives looking for the golden ticket to get out of their current existence. Tony Robbins and others like him are simply the conveyers of information that has been worked out by truly successful and innovative people. One example is someone like Gary Vaynerchuk whom I have learnt far more on business and specifics for free than the generic and vague information you get from $1000 and $10,000 seminars.
As Gary and others say work hard, dedicate yourself for a long time to your craft or business, get advice from the successful people in your line of business and connect yourself with the right people. A pinch of luck is also required as we live in a thing called life. There is no special secret sold by so called snake oil salespeople.
All the information you need is out there and it shouldnt cost absurd amounts of money.
Awesome article with a positive outcome! Congrats 🙂
Really interesting. Thanks for posting.
Hi! Today I watched my first TR video and it was about how he helped a guy with a stutter. It was so fake. The guy remembered watching TV when he was twoo years old. He said he eat cereals and watched some cartoon where the main caracter stutters.. see where this is going?..?
Tony explained to him that something else had happened before that memory, something bad. The guy closed his eyes once more and there it was, the crucial memory - his parents arguing and fighting. Ofcourse, Tony reveiled to him that it was the real cause of his dissability and told him he doesn't need to stutter any more. So he didn't, problem solved. In my opinion, it was obviously staged. I was really dissapointed but there were few K's of comments and most of the people were delighted, moved and inspired. I also am not a hater and don't want to spread negativity but I couldn't get this out of my head. I googled TR and came across you. So I just wanted to share this. I wish everyone the best and whatever works for you, might that even be TR ?
For real? Because something doesn't make sense to you, you just decide it's fake? Actually metaphor and symbology is one of the key ways of changing the mind. There's also regression which could be why he had that memory. Or maybe his unconscious created a memory in order to connect to what he actually needed. There's always a core memory or event that creates a problem, with other memories being tainted by that trigger and reinforcing it.
PS. I've never been to a TR seminar, so my comment is not about whether TR is good or not.
You're pure honesty and genteel way of using words Noah is inspiring to say the least! We each have our callings that lead on a very crooked road our destines! And that's what makes the world go round 🙂 Thanks for this article.
well written and to the point. I am not a fan of Tony; I tend to set my own "bar" and rise to it instead of listening to someone else "empower" me to set that bar. As a horse trainer and airline employee, empowerment comes with the territory. 🙂 And yes, I am "good enough." 🙂 🙂
I have the opinion that when it comes to situations like this, your experience indicates that you have become a graduate of the programs you have used to get where you are. The analogy I like to use is military service. When you you first start in your journey in the service you go to boot camp. This is where you learn the basic fundamentals of being in the your particular branch of the military. It's tough. Depending on what branch it can get downright nasty. I was in the Marines. Boot camp was Paris Island South Carolina in the middle of a swamp in June-August 1979. The training at that time included a few psychological challenges that eventually helped creat a completely new personality. I say all of this to say the following. Boot camp is not and should not be forever. You eventually graduate out into the real world. Once there, you're supposed to show how well you can build and grow on the fundamentals that you learned. Can you imagine somebody from my graduating class back in 1979 still down there learning to take a rifle apart and put it back together again? Of course not! The military wouldn't even tolerate such a thing. Unfortunately, outside of that highly structured environment there is often nobody to tell you have learned enough except ourselves and maybe a few close friends or relatives. This I suspect happened to you. You finally realized that this train had taken you as far as it could take you. And you decided to share this experience. It's a very open honest expression of maturity. So in fairness to those who attend TR seminars, these folks are at all different levels of that same process. Hell, some just got off the bus and are in line for their first military haircut! So the only thing I can say that would help your article would be to re-word the title, and re-word it in a way that shows a lot more gratitude. For example. "How I knew I Had Graduated Ftom TR University" or "How TR Helped Me To Grow Into The Man I Am" or something that actually demonstrates the memes you use. The current title is absolutely negative and unfair. It looks like you're already well into giving back to other people and realizing many goals and dreams. So I really don't understand why you chose to take that tilt in your opening title. Curious indeed. Well thank you for taking the time to read this. Nuff Said.
outstanding, right on target. Your comments jolted me into the realization that I need to move on, stop attending boot camp. Thank you.
You must be self-aware enough to walk out knowing parts were right for you but the whole thing wasnt and there's nothing wrong with that. I've learned over the years that my introversion means I prefer reading a book or talking to a single friend rather than interaction in large groups and there's nothing wrong with that. Just a different source of energy and drive than others.
This comment! Yes. No need to feel guilty about trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, right? Thank you. I am discovering that I, too, prefer more intimate conversations and holiday events with smaller groups instead of a large zoo of people that stresses me out. It's good to know yourself enough to say no to things that don't bring you joy.
Yes! Absolutely. It's about finding who you are and what works for you - not forcing yourself to fit into the expected mold.
Thanks for this Noah. Really enjoyed reading and thinking about. Very objective and thoughtful. I attended the New Jersey event last week as Crew and for me it was great and what I wanted, needed and expected. There are many things I also see that might improve the seminars but what I have also come to realize is that no system is perfect or suitable for everyone. I found helping out with both the Fire Walk and the Dickens Pattern to be very powerful and transformative. I used to be embarassed slightly about using the 30 Day Personal Power program but now realize that it works for me and is part of my spiritual discipline. I have also used it enough that I have begun to adapt it slightly for my own needs and interests. I myself am slightly off put by all the pushing of other seminars/products but realize that Tony's career is grounded in financial growth and success. I may evolve beyond the tools I have gained from Tony but for now it works for me. I also find myself using other tools like meditation and the work of Wim Hof. Plan to check out some of the other stuff you have written.
The day before I left for the UPW event in New Jersey I found this post and felt it bordered on the negative side, although I attempted to understand where you were coming from internally. I thought to myself, “I have done my due diligence. In fact, I did that prior to purchasing the ticket.” I knew exactly what I was getting myself into, but boy was I wrong.
I can’t even describe how it felt to be at this event because it wasn’t a seminar – it was a total body experience. Although I have listened to several of his programs and frequently listen to his videos on YouTube, I don’t know that I realized how different the event would be. I can honestly say that while I often “heard” many of the things Tony said, I didn’t know how to necessarily change them permanently, but he is indeed the master at understanding how to align your physiology with your brain to “raise your standards”. Let me also say that I understand what you mean with the term “cult following” as I met folks who follow this man all over the world, spending thousands of dollars on his events each year. Of course, who is it for me to say that “one event is good ‘enough’”, but one experience may be all I needed.
After abandoning Facebook more than 2 years ago, I inscribed myself to their private group for UPW and am flabbergasted at how many folks are so willing to follow literally anything anyone suggests. I have seen everything from “special” water filters to “non” products from people stressing over the short list of foods they are now “allowed” to eat. The abundant self-righteousness of “everyone else is negative and now I’m not” is mind-blowing. I have to admit that I suddenly see many ways of thinking as negative, but I was already aware of that (such as the news, for example). I have not turned on the news since I arrived back home, although granted, it’s only been 3 or 4 days.
The up-selling really got on my nerves during the event and this has continued after the event, where folks think you are interested in attending more events and dropping thousands more. The continuous insistence of signing up for the next event is mind-boggling. The other thing I find slightly annoying is the fact that many people got sick after the event and feel that it is “negative” to mention it. Apparently these folks now believe that your mind can prevent sickness and if you got sick, you are weak and need to review your limiting beliefs. (I was actually told this by an event worker when I inquired what time the event began the next day because I was exhausted and was headed to the hotel.) The mind is powerful, that is abundantly clear, but c’mon…what do people expect after very little sleep for 4 days, scarfing down poor food choices when they weren’t jumping or dancing, releasing emotion, sticking their fingers up their noses and then wiping the tears from their faces after the next experience, high-fiving and hugging everyone while you are packed like sardines where you could literally touch the ceiling!! (I fasted the entire time I was there, so I didn’t get sick at all. There was NO way I was eating that crappy food, and they would rip the healthiest items out of your bag upon entry.) Still, if you mention you fell ill after the event, some poor soul is too happy to point out that you need their alkaline or ionized water and supplements.
I didn’t understand the conflicting messages of health - no one was allowed to bring in healthy eats or snacks, and was forced to purchase the crap available, which was mostly bread and combos of fat and sugar. I even fought to bring in my Smart water (electrolytes) while fasting. The other thing was that Tony recognizes rejuvenation of the body, which is one reason why he is only there 2 of the 4 days…yet keeps you in suspense until 2 and 3am with sales after which he gives thanks for all who volunteer to make his event memorable. Then again, it was a choice to leave “early”, and I am shocked at the folks who stayed until the very end. I am glad I exercised my free will of choice when I felt it necessary to listen to my body.
No, I didn’t “walk on fire” and neither did anyone else. Some folks did experience what walking on hot coals felt like, while others walked on completely cold coals and told me they felt completely let down. Still others wound up in the hospital with severe burns. (Sorry, Tony, but first degree burns and third degree burns are NOT the same thing.) Many, many folks asked me if I “walked on fire”, as if they needed validation for that experience, which I found interesting. So while I don’t feel it was a waste of time and found it to be quite valuable, I think one event will do it for me. And in the future, day 4 could be completely eliminated…it is totally anti-climactic.
I'm sorry that you didn't get to bring your own food or drinks into the event.. but that isn't up to Tony and his crew, it's up to the rules of the facility in which the event is held. I have been to 3 events and they all allowed us to bring our own food and drinks in. I drank my starbucks and had plenty of snacks throughout the day as well as full meals that I'd bring in. Nobody minded at all because the conference center that it was held in allowed food and beverages. This is not some tactic by Tony's crew to get you to buy their products but simply the health code / rules of the hosting facility itself. Also, at Date with Destiny they fed us plenty of times, even though we were able to take our own food in or buy it at the facility or nearby restaurants. They were conscious enough to feed us vegan foods and snacks every time which was a huge bonus for a lot of us who are vegan / vegetarian and wasn't complained about by any meat eaters as it was still very delicious without the unnecessary animal products.
Honestly, this was well written and I can really see where you're coming from.
I have been a Barber for more than 30 years. I used to go to Hair Shows all the time. I finally had to come to the conclusion that if I got one great piece of information, that I could use on a daily basis, it was worth it. I have not seen TR, but am going in November. I will share my experience here after. Thank you.
Please do...I just shared mine. The OP here does have some valid points. I did keep an open mind while at the event, but everyone has his or her own reactions, and each one is valid. Enjoy your event!
Thanks for writing this article! I've been a fan of Tony's for while now and this article only confirms what I thought might be true about these events; they're cheesy and overpriced. After watching his documentary, I Am Not Your Guru, I was extremely turned off by his constant name dropping and obvious non-stop reinforcement of his expert position. I like Tony's overall message, but I don't need it delivered with all the nacho cheese. Thanks for being honest.
Wow, it was like I wrote this. I just attended the Newark UPW this weekend and left part way through day two. My suggestion is to lower the volume, especially when you are told to do an exercise with your neighbors. I was there for deeper content and not necessarily to recreate the Matrix Reloaded party scene.
Overall, it was a good experience and despite Tony basically telling you common sense things, he really has a talent for getting the message through.
I have a ton of take-a ways and may even attend another event in the future. Next time though, I will set my own schedule and take breaks to go eat real and healthy food from an outside source. To have a seminar that promotes health and wellness and positive change, it was really bizarre to only have stadium food choices. Like many, we walked to Whole Foods down the street to eat.
Your decision to walk out was quite similar to my decision to walk out/refund from attending his "Life & Wealth Mastery" seminars (~3k each)... although I REALLY enjoyed UPW and it was worth every penny to me! I think perhaps it just comes down to where someone is at in their life that determines weather they are gaining their money's worth from the seminar or not.
I & my boyfriend was planning to get married last month, just last week we had some argument that made him get angry on me just because of the argument, he said we will not marry me again and the next day he left me and we broke up. I still loved him and I wanted him to marry me, for me to get him back i had no choice than to contacted dr_mack@yahoo. com to help me and he helped me to bring my lover back to me so we can continue our plan to be married. he came back after 3 days, we are happily married now.
aint that sweet shelley. youse boyfreind must be one grate fellow. do dr mack speak english as good as you?
I used to listen to Tony Robins periodically. One thing that makes me extremely uncomfortable now is that he seems to have stained his voice to the point of damaging it. As a voice teacher, I am familiar with the problem of vocal strain, and seeing him do that is too painful for me to watch.
Other than that, I do not feel the need of a motivational speaker anyway, though I did about 28 years ago. His voice has changed!
He talks about it in every seminar. His vocal chords are severely damaged and doctors are surprised he can still speak. He works hard to do everything in his power to maintain what's left of them. What people don't understand is that he's losing his voice and suffering from speaking these seminars. He's doing it anyway because of the difference he makes in people's lives. He also doesn't need to make more money so it's not fair for everyone to say that's his only motive. He could choose not to work another day in his life since his family and his great great great grandchildren will be set for life, but he continues to do all of these seminars anyway because he makes a huge difference in many people's lives. I can't say that I wouldn't retreat to my island in Fiji and save my voice and spend time with my friends and family. I have a lot of respect for him for continuing his work anyway.
I've been to 3 of Tony's live events (Pers. Power, a 1 Day Event and UPW 2x) and thoroughly enjoyed every one of them.
Although there are things one can learn from when it comes to these motivational speaker types, nobody has the answer to everything. For the most part, motivational speakers are more for those in much lower points in their life where someone just acknowledging them is enough. For the rest of us that do not lack the energy, just the focus, these things are not enough. We aren't going to find the answers here and thats ok. We learn a little bit from every experience. I learn some right now just reading about yours.
People will play with your minds and emotions if you let them. Its a short step between people like Robbins and those that prey on the weakness of others when they loose a loved one. Both feed off those that want an answer to how to live instead of just getting on with what makes them feel content. Their is no miracle to this, just a willingness to see the beauty we have been given on this earth. Give your $2000 to someone who needs help next time and three days of your time and see how that feels - youll then have all the answers life intended.
Agree!!! True happiness consists of 3 words "help others "
And what is the third word?
Thank you for sharing your experience. I recently attended a UPW seminar myself and, though I stayed until the end, I relate to what you have experienced. Like you, I admire and respect Tony immensely and I am personally very happy to have crossed this off my bucket list, but it wasn't everything that I expected either!
The fact we were not aware that Tony appears only every other day (though I can understand why, and although Joseph is good, you only find out when you're there), the surprising amount of time spent promoting other events during UPW (I couldn't believe that after an hour long presentation of Business Mastery on day 3, the spent another two hours talking about that on day 4 (the health, nutrition and energy day no less!) while some people went to a breakout room to hear about the peak performance coaching! Some people around me were thoroughly pissed off about that!), the fact that I didn't even get a close-up in 4 days (the giant screen is not so different than watching his videos at home!), the really long hours (14 to 16 hours in a day with one meal break is just too much for me) that leave too little time to interact with other participants (as you also mentioned)... were the major down points for me ...
I have continued to listen to Tony's interventions, he remains a source of inspiration to me, he triggers my thinking process, in other words I do believe he is the real deal, despite the fact that I was not particularly motivated to enrol in another one of his events when I left UPW!
Thanks again for this article and for cracking me up with your narrative of John's story !!
I've never been to one of his seminars. However, watching just one of his videos online I got the feeling his seminars were cheesy.
I trust my senses. Glad to see them confirmed.
Sounds like you unleashed the power within by yourself!!!
Have you ever heard of Landmark forum? I wonder what your take would be.
Tony is a celebrity coach. Some of his stuff works except most of it is not his.
It is a money making machine.
Thank you for your article
How do you know those "celebrities" aren't in on it, and have lucrative deals in the background? Do a little research....
Wow, sorry to hear that you and some others didn't understand that the UPW events are a quicky pick me up, with some amazing info put out in a different way, and a high energy escape and yes of course a sale pitch.. I offer other things and programs at my events too. No it's not for everyone just those who are looking for .. something to change. You ought to have done the firewalk it was freeing. Although I'm sure some will have a great explanation of how and why people can walk on hot coals ect.. but everything is perception and you of course are entitled to your. I hope you fine what your searching for.
This guy's article is spot on and informative for people who don't know how the "pump you up" millionaire gets his ill-gotten gain.
1. Three days is not a "quicky pick me up" and for $2000, a person should receive more than that anyway.
2. Paying $2000 for more sales pitches is definitely a conflict of interest.
3. There is a news article about people receiving 3rd degree burns at one of his "firewalks" that you say are so "freeing", and yes actually, anyone with a little education knows that "how and why people can walk on hot coals" is simply that they Keep Moving and that the coals are allowed to burn down to barely hot before anyone is allowed to walk on them. It's neither Mind Over Matter, Nor Rocket Science.
4. Everything is NOT perception. That comes from the ignorant "New Thought" people of the 1800's that is Regurgitated in the "Law of Attraction" "you think everything into existence" crap philosophy/theology. Some things are Reality and have Nothing to do with your "Perception". If you jump off a building, you cannot fly no matter what your perception of that is, and you will die or be maimed by your injuries when you hit the ground.
5. These positive thinking millionaire gurus are Disgusting. There is definitely something to be said for a Positive Attitude. It is Essential for a good life.
But it is not worth the $400 Million that Robbins has amassed from selling it, and
it doesn't take three days and $2000 to convey it.........
Truth... does not consult with Perception. Truth simply is Truth.
I've been to two Robbin's events. I've seen people walk out of both. But almost all stay. I like Noah's honesty in the article. It's an authentic review, which makes it great. EJ, however, your review is a cynical opinion based on zero actual knowledge. I was inspired by Unleash the Power Within event. It was the first of his I attended after reading and listening to his material for several years. The impact of the live seminar is 10x. You simply have to accept that it's not going to be perfect for you but if you can get 3 great things from it, it can be well worth it. Personally, I doubled my income in the year after that event, and the following year went up 50% again, and my starting point was already very high, which made the cost of attending seem free. It isn't one size fits all, but if you stay through the end you will be better off for doing it. I also attended business mastery which is $10k and in my opinion paid for itself within the first 5 hours of a 40+ hour event. The events have enough outstanding information that it simply comes down to what you decide to do with it. The walking on hot coals was an insanely great experience. If you skip that, you should skip the whole event. Generally, people wouldn't keep going to the events and recommending if they weren't outstanding. But, they are not for everyone. Thanks for the honest review Noah.
I agree completely with the above comment. I only had tickets for one day but I was blown away. My work habits have changed and I feel better about myself. I have had a lot of therapy in my life. Tony is better. Those of you that watch 'I am not your Guru" and doubt him, do not see him . . OK he makes money from this. He should make money from these events I am glad that I had this opportunity and will definitely return.. You know what they say, anything that works, nothing is one size fits all. Tony and his message fit a lot of people trying to grow.
Awesome stuff, as usual. Thanks for a thorough and un-biased review. It's pretty rare to find this kind of transparency in thought leadership these days! Keep em coming 🙂
Amen, Ali - great poignant and concise comment !
I appreciate this review. It's well thought out, rational, and isn't a "Tony-slam" just to get for clickbait. It's not easy to say that the "super popular guy with tons of fans" isn't for me. That's the wonderful thing about our big wide world, with over 6 billion of us on the planet there's somebody for everyone. I like what you did here Mr. Kagan, you decided not to waste the most precious thing anyone one of us has: time.
It's much easier working off the fruit of others isn't it Mr Kagan. I find it quite sad. By the way - I'm betting you walked out because you were lacking the stones to walk the walk.
What a sophmoric comment. The author has a right to his opinion , and Tony isnt God. Frankly, he is a bit full of himself these days.
Your personal assault on Mr Kagan is unwarranted and childish. As is your comment about his "stones".
Agreed - this is a troll comment and should be completely disregarded.
I completely agree with Chris Hoover, Noah basically gave all the TR haters (people who lack the drive to execute on TR's content) a platform to publish their excuses where it would resonate with their peers. Nothing special or "skeptic" about this article...
Well structured and an educated post. Thanks for sharing.
Feels like I wrote this story myself. I attended this workshop in San Jose recently. It felt like I was being indoctrinated into his cult. I made it most of one day then left. Luckily the company I worked for paid for it. It amazed me that people bought into the hype so readily.
I guess this is why religion is so popular.
Exactly! Unfortunately, the religion & cult philosophy appeals to most people. We shouldn't be surprised to see it working for Tony though, as most people blindly follow the religions created thousands of years back.
10,000 x 2000 = $ 20,000,000.00 this why Tony does it.
20 Million in 3 days ! Sheep to the Fleece House......
Many people would tell you to think positive and give you a shoulder massage for a lot less ! LOL....
I don't think even Benny Hinn makes that much......
Not everyone pays $10k, actually only a few pay that. He does make a lot of money from the evens but not $20MM
Jesse, you got it backwards. Gene's correct: he's not saying that anyone pays $10,000. His equation is 10,000 people pay $2,000, which does indeed equate to $20 Million for each seminar, of which TR only attends two days. Even after his alimony payments, rental costs, employee salaries (minimum wage, I kid you not) and CHEAP crap snacks, still probably allows him to pocket $19 Million for good ol' Tony, before taxes of course, but c'mon, he's probably sheltering most of it in off-shore accounts. While I support capitalism, it's con artists like this that bring out the tiniest socialist in me. Quick—think of Venezuela and Brazil!! Phew! That was a close one!! The feeling has passed. I'm back to capitalism again.
Yeah.????? It's basic math and greed. Tony's alllllll about the money—HIS MONEY.???
The original self help seminar is the church. Look at US history. Look up guys like DL Moody, John Wesley or George Whitefield. Those seminars promised something much deeper though. The results changed whole cities. Read about a thing called the Great Awakening. Tony is pushing a cheap knock off in place of the real thing.
Agreed. And TR uses NLP (NEURAL LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING) and other hypnotists' tricks that he learned from his old partner when he was first starting out. Many of us could be just as "successful" as Tony, if we just didn't let our pesky consciences get in the way. Having money to meet One's basic needs and providing for others is important, I'll grant that. But excessive wealth is not a path to true happiness (and I'm a capitalist!). God is more than generous to all who seek Him. If you can find fulfilling work that provides you a living wage for yourself and family, you are a true success!! You will find happiness in helping others, not buying "stuff." Think about what would happen if you suddenly had to evacuate because of an oncoming wildfire—what would you grab to take with you? That's the stuff you truly value. You don't need all the other crap. Sell it now so that it doesn't burn up in that fire, pay off any debts you owe, and invest the rest of the money in something or someone. Not worrying about all that stuff also takes a lot of worry off of your shoulders. Voila! Your house looks a lot nicer now too! 😉
Human behavior is and will always be very unpredictable. Thank goodness for diversity and individuality.
My friend, I couldn't have said it better. I wrote a book on how to succeed woth a purposeful Anti-Tony Robbins type message. Like you, I respect him and see the value his approach has on certain people. It just never reached me. If ever you care to, please check out Everything I Never Learned in School: A Guide to Success. (Amazon). I would be honored and I think, given your comments, it might really work for you. Darin
I found a review of your book at Vie magazine online. Sounds interesting. I might just purchase it.
And yes, Tony Robbins in olden days might have been prosecuted under Blue Sky laws, just like Napoleon Hill was...
A Positive Attitude IS important, and essential to a good life,
but as Snake Oil salesmen like Robbins would have us believe,
IT IS NOT EVERYTHING..... come on people, wake up.
Tony is banking on the laziness of the overall population imo. People want a shot of b-12 and he administers it, like all of the snake oil sales men before him.
No I am not jealous
I am disgusted
I watched Charlie Rose interview him one time and 'ol Tone had the arrogance(stupidity) to say he could empower alcoholics and addicts to stop forever.
Really???????
Wonder how that's going for those peeps ten years after.
I wonder why he couldnt empower himself and his exwife into staying together.
There's a sucker born every minute folks, that's what " Empowers" Swami Robbins
He has. I'm 20 plus years sober because of him.
No, it's not because of him. He may have given you a much needed boost and encouragement in the beginning, but it's not because of him.
You did more of it than he did.
And probably A. A. helps more people than he does.
I know it helped my brother and my grandfather and several friends of mine.
btw, Congratulations on your 20 plus years of sobriety.
Sad but True...
this comment was about Jonathan's statement of Robbins "banking on people's lazyness" and their willingness to shell out for a pep talk.
Your review made me laugh!!!
A very insightful review of your experience. I am trying a streamlined approach to self improvement with more action and less thinking and planning.
I enjoyed reading this and your perspective about Tony's seminar. I salute you for being true to yourself and realizing you were better off leaving than staying. This was honest and real. Thanks.
So We all know what Tony is selling. What are you selling?
irrelevant..... this was an honest review of one of Robbins' seminars.........
well written and honest.....
I love this article! Tony is a great guy and naturally many tend to idolize people. I absolutely love and admire Tony, I'd like to meet qnd work with him someday. He's a human being still and not perfect. I love your openness and honesty and what you did after you left Tony's event. Awesome! 🙂
Well you can't please everyone. :). At least you got something out of the event. And that's what matters most.
I could hug you for writing this post! I've done a lot of personal growth work and I love it, except when I hate it. A long time ago I learned that it's best for me to get what I need, not always what I want. Ditto for the trainings I present. Personal growth work is hard. It takes courage. It takes guts. It takes times.
Very interesting... I believe that your post made some valid points.
Not every seminar is for everyone.
I agree with you fully,Tony Robbins is all over the place trying to be everything to everyone which scatters his focus.Each seminar should be concentrated on one or two topics only and not so danm long.Personally I don't go for the rah,rah stuff it tends to be too superficial to me with no lasting results.
I have used TR for motivation and focus many times, using free recordings on YouTube and having read one of his early books. Invaluable stuff. But, I would never spend 2000 dollars on a cult-like event, especially when most of the good stuff is freely available. There will always be those who would benefit from an intensive course, but not me.
Thanks for sharing with such honesty!
Thank you for this article. TR is coming to Vancouver and I had the choice between buying ticket to go see him or purchasing the Ultimate Edge home coaching 26 CD set. I bought Ultimate Edge b/c I figured I would get more out of it and I can go back and use it again and again. A one day seminar - although uplifting - may not be as beneficial. Thanks for confirming my decision.
I also bought one of his recorded tutorial series ( a lot cheaper than the seminars; I don't regret the cost) and learned that only about 5% of purchasers make it all the way through, which made me more determined to do it. I did, and there were many good things learned. Such as: at the start of every day, look in the mirror and tell yourself three things for which you are grateful... I later learned that there is little or no clinical evidence to support the efficacy of NLP... Perhaps in some synchronicity of the universe, just this week a book of R. Crumb's Mr. Natural cartoons jumped into my hands at the library - some surprising similarities to TR... Thanks to Noah for the original and to all the posters, it's been fun and informative reading!
I agree wholeheartedly! My husband and I also walked out. We are both professionals and we're there to really LEARN! Not dance and play. We craved the important meat that would help change our business and make it flourish. Lesson learned!
Yes, Learn, Not Dance and Play......
A perfect comment.
Thanks for confirming for other people.
Tony learned most of what he knows at Insight seminars when he was in his early twenties! It's a lot cheaper and goes much deeper!
Thanks for taking the risk in sharing. I hear where you're coming from and have felt the same even though I've never seen TR live.
I went to Date With Destiny (yeah, I spent 5 grand) and I felt like in 5 days I got maybe 3 hours of actual information. Every day started about 2 hours after the time on the schedule, had ridiculous amounts of "dance time", and even though in general I like hugs - for God's sake come on already .
I was also a little disenchanted with all the hate spewed on traditional education. The eyerolls and disdain at the mere mention of "doctors" of psychology hurt a little since I worked so hard to get my doctorate degree. He said over and over how many suicides he has prevented and then I saw his suicide preventions in person. Yeah, these people in the seminar were not so much suicidal as borderline personality and were eating up the attention when they had it and I guarantee then falling off the deep-end when the attention was on someone else. As a person who works with suicidal patients on a regular basis, not only are his claims to suicide prevention absurd, I believe they may even be dangerous.
I have loved his work from the past, but now even the occasional sight of him popping up randomly on social media triggers my gag reflex.
Thank you for bringing up an issue with these self help "guru's" that is not discussed enough... They give out advice to sometimes very sick people who believe these people have some education to back up there words but do they? Writing a book doesn't make you a certified anything and I'm sure anyone that gives advice to a person they know is suffering from a mental disorder and that advice causes a death that person would be guilty of manslaughter right? I quit drinking in 2009 and spent the first few years involved heavily in a 12 step program and what really concerned me there was witnessing people that only a year before we're laying in an alley in skid row unable to clean themselves properly were now sponsoring some newly sober person and giving medical advice about what med's to take or not to take nevermind the "life coaching" and other advice giving to this person who may or may not suffer from multiple disorders IN ADDITION to their Alcoholism... I am sure these types of scenarios have caused deaths but it would be difficult to know or prove because a relapse or suicide is so common among this demographic.
I've seen "there" used at least four times instead of "their" in these comments. This was the last time and it bugs my English-teacher-self enough to mention it. I used to have kids write, "They're going there in their car," and I realize that one has to hear something 20 times before he learns it, so here is your 20th time. Thank you.
Good, Solid comment.
Thank you for helping people be informed.
From reading your insightful comments, I guarantee that your doctorate was indeed money well spent. Tony never went to college, heck I'm not even sure he finished high school, and like most dropouts, he carries around a BIG chip on his shoulder when it comes to traditional education. Your gag reflex is right on target! Keep trusting your instincts and I guarantee that you'll help many more patients than TR ever really has.
Well said and fell the same way. I love a lot of his material but think I'd walk out as well from the live "show" I think it shows intelligence if you understand the concepts without the hoopla.
I love the way this has captured my email address. The absolute best marketing i have seen.
The bottom line is this, you didnt walk out, your ego walked out.
All assesment is ego driven and based on your beliefs and stories about yourself.
Which are not yours, they are a product of your perception of the enviroment you were brought up in.
In other words if i had been brought up in your enviroment with your perception, i would be you and not me.
I run a series of programs designed to allow people to shine a light on their ego.
The hardest part is keeping people egos in the room long enough for me to out it to them.
If they dont feel an erge to walk out at some point im not doing my job.
Eckhart Tolle said it best, its like asking the chief of police to find the arsonist when the arsonist is the chief of police.
Get real get happy transforming the way you do your relating. Russell xx
The experience in this article came across to me as the freedom to describe how he felt towards Tony Robbins regardless wether he consciously subconsciously harboured or manufactured a tendency to illicit a response.
Your comment does not ring true. Ego-driven assessment is ego-driven. The guy said he felt empowered walking out of the TR seminar. He sounds like he made a heart-centered assessment. If you see ego in what he has shared here, it's probably because you are making an ego-bound assessment of his honest assessment. Look at yourself. Look in the mirror, my dear.
She just threw your ego-coaching self help rant right out the door and exposed you as a fraud.
And you don't think Robbins is exhibiting an Intense Ego in his theatrical goof-inars? Charging people $2000 or $5000 to dance around and hug each other, and listen to how he's saved so many people from suicide, and how he's advised so many famous people. Famous people fall prey to scam artists just as easily as anyone else. And Robbins paying his minions to get up there and crow about how he saved them from suicide, is not instructional at all to his dancing, hopping idol-craving audience.
Get a Clue, Russell....
or buy a vowel if you don't have a clue - LOL
Goof-inars!!! ??????. I love it!! You nailed it!!
That's exactly how I feel about these so-called gurus. Isn't humility the first sign of wisdom?
Tony practices a long discredited form of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). His presentations are so superficial and emotional defined that they are useless.
Thank you for your observations and thoughts. If all I read is"he is awesome", then something is hiding .
I just attended the Ultimate Wealth and Acheivement Summit in Boston featuring Tony Robbins. After the event I just googled "does anyone else think Tony Robbins is bullshit" leading me to your article. Thank you for writing this, because after the summit I felt like my friends and I were on a different planet than everyone else in the crowd. While I haven't followed Tony as much as a lot of people, I also have a lot of respect for him and watched his documentary which was great and made me cry in empathy with all of the people he helped. What I realize now is how much must have been edited out of the documentary. I may be being extra hard on Tony because of how the summit started. There was a lineup of speakers all hawking get-rich-quick schemes such as "Just write a book and don't worry about it adding any value to society, that doesn't matter! You can write a book in 40 hours and get advertisers to pay for it by adding in their products as author recommendations! But only if you attend my next seminar for $2,000--wait, I'll slash my prices especially for YOU." Each of the presenters was promoting another seminar. I felt like I was in an endless shamwow commercial, except shamwow is actually a good product. Another presenter who really bothered me kept talking about how poverty is all in the mind and people deserve to be poor because of their small minded thinking. As a social worker turned business woman I found those statements offensive and oversimplified. Listening to a privileged white man explaining away poverty as negative thinking, is just...oh i don't know--bullshit? I found myself getting worried for Tony thinking "wow his PR team really messed up getting him involved with this lineup." Besides the speakers preying on the hopeful, Tony came out about 2 hours late. Maybe this wasn't his fault, but then he spent an hour making us get up, clap, hug our neighbors, shout stuff out, and clap and woo some more before even getting started. I'm happy to clap, but for what?? I just couldn't get exited or into it by that point it all seemed so cheesy and fake. Tony had some good points that we need to change our state to change our behavior, which is a basic element of cognitive behavioral therapy that could have been summed up much more succinctly. It almost felt like Tony wasn't respecting his audience by dumbing down the concepts so much and interrupting his points by making us hoot and holler for unspecified reasons. Thank God for Tom Brady who was a special guest and the only speaker who actually talked about hard work. This was my experience and I'm glad I found your post. I also felt empowered walking out of the summit--I couldn't just be fake and play along after what seemed like a day of simplified, unethical, and self-promoting speeches.
Thank you! I was there too and I felt the same way, if not more annoyed because I had seen that same exact presentation before on Youtube and so it was not anything new. I am really thinking about asking for my money back. Those rich quick schemes were definitely not what i signed up for. Noah, thank you to you for your insights!!!
I enjoyed your comment but how do you know the man who bothered you was privileged? I'm assuming you know he was white from his appearance but how do you know his upbringing? Maybe he grew up poor? All of us "White Men"'have not grown up with silver spoons in our mouths and "get out of jail free cards" placed in our wallets... Just thought I would let you know.
I am glad you responded to the "white men of privilege." I spent 2 years working with social service, welfare recipients. I often tell others that I should have paid the participants in my class because of what I learned from them. Their first needs were not clothes or getting to work. They were simple questions about how do you "have the courage to tell someone you have no idea what they just said?" In other words, practicing simple and honest communication with out using bad words or accusations was paramount in their lives. Thank you for standing up for those of us who have grown up poor, worked our asses of and have some money now.
I agree. Just stop using the race card for generalizing people. Like "white" would automatically mean rich and wealthy.
Beside white's countries are not wealthy and advanged because people living in them are playing cards and smoking chigarettes under the palmtrees all days long. It's because of the hard work and use of intellect.
Having privilege does not mean someone grew up wealthy or is wealthy:
https://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/explaining-white-privilege-to-a-broke-white-person-shesaid/
Thank you for confirming this article and other people's comments.
It seems that "he showed up 2 hours late" is a common and telling thread.
And the "too much dancing and hugging, rah rah pep-talk, with hardly any information
is a common thread also.
And then there is the disgusting "if you have any bad circumstances, it's all your own fault"
so-called "philosophy" that belittles so many people in the world, including those born
in war-torn countries and other terrible circumstances...
So..... it is the little children's fault in Sierra Leone that they are watching their parents get murdered and having their little arms cut off?
I guess they weren't "thinking enough positive thoughts".....
One of the problems with the Law of Attraction teaching is that it let's anyone born in good circumstances think "yeah, see? I'm thinking the right thoughts"...
and to hell with anyone with problems, it's probably "their own fault".
That thinking destroys Altruism, and fosters Me Me Me attitudes.
Elena, thank you for summarizing so eloquently and succinctly so much of what is wrong TR's Goof-inars (as coined by Mr. Addington).;) You are obviously a very intelligent person, so by default you are NOT the target demographic for TR's audiences. Request a refund posthaste (I'm sure you did already) and thank God that you are blessed with a brain!!
As a social worker and having worked in the community sector for some years your comment really resonated with me. Finally someone is looking beyond the competitive individualism his brand promotes to the broader social context. I strongly believe in personal development and have also had training as a coach but to ignore the factors of systemic poverty that is making people poorer is a huge mistake. TR makes a lot of money getting people to only focus on personal responsibility which takes the focus off on how government policies and corporations are keeping people mired in poverty. We definitely need to work on ourselves and improve ourselves but should not have to shell out thousands or join movements that do not provide any critique of capitalism. We should be working to build positive community and compassion for others not be marketed to. I also have concerns about claims to help people who are suicidal, these people are vulnerable and is anyone making good safety plans and checking in after these events?
Oh Marita - you sound like my Soul Sister. I found myself nodding to every sentence in your comment - Personal responsibility is good but MUST not take the focus off how government policies (and shadow governments) work to keep people in accepted poverty. No amount of clappings and jumping will change a persons socio-economic situation IF the government is not also held accountable for its covert actions.
Wow, great read. I can truly appreciate your heart felt thoughts. I also use your Sumo products and we love them. We are in a similar lane as Tony although no where near the fame level and we don't want to be famous we simply want to serve. Your article sincerely helps me understand the team and I are heading the right direction. A feel that a geninune see connect is incredibly important along with a sincere process that can truly help someone. We are planning to do our next live event in Charlotte NC. I would be honored if you would come to Transform U and give us your feed back to help us make sure that we always deliver. The areas you are focused on are areas we do a deep dive on. As my guest there would be no charge and if you like we can do some true one on one time discussing the things that are most important. We could also do it over sushi ( Love it) !! My heart goes out to you but you where wise with the time you had, and focused that energy exactly where it needed to go. Stay on this path and it will come.
The truth will set u free' a salute u,
'The emperor's new clothes'
Ha Ha ! So True !
I attended Tony's seminar in 1989 - I was in my early 20s and I, too, walked out. I did do the 40 foot hot coal walk ("cool moss, cool moss" ;)) and you can say that was the highlight.
I felt like I missed something or should have had more emotional or psychological problems - maybe hate my parents or say I enjoyed torturing small animals. Everyone around me was either crying or screaming about their pains out loud or hugging a stranger - no exaggeration here. It didn't connect with me then and I can only imagine the frenzy now, whew!
Where Tony totally lost me was in the 'upsell' gear. This wasn't enough apparently; we had to go the 'next level', which was just his next seminar, to truly untap all our potential. By then, my fingers were blue because it was about subzero in the convention hall and I felt like I was being held captive. So ... I 'unleashed my own power' and got the hell out of there. I never looked back with regret - a few chuckles yes, but no regret.
Glad to know I wasn't the only one. 😉 Good read - thank you!
I watched the netflix doc and yeah i shed a few tears (no shame) but each person pays 5 stacks each for a 6 day event? Dude, that Tony guy is making billions! I can see he means well but idk something inside me is still skeptical i mean yeah humans are emotional and it takes a lot to open up but what he says are just words, and how people interpret them is only on them. Feels like he disregards some people w/ mental health problems, does he think people w/ anxiety or depression can wake up one morning and say Hey world, im unstoppable! And keep that momentum going on the daily? And if he really wanted to affect lives, why would he charge sooo much money? If you watch the netflix doc, his house is ridiculous, he does not need all those tv screens! Lol. Like u said, it seems a tad bit superficial and cheesy. Overrall, good read btw, was looking for an alternate perspective on this topic n i got it 😀
Finally, someone who took an open mind to the event and came out with a better opinion on what money really buys to improve your life.
A really powerful article. Thank you.
I agree with much of what you say. I like to enjoy learning with out dancing, being touched by people, and other such things. I want the content not the show! If I want to be entertained, or dance I will go to a suitable concert, if I want to be touched I will hug my wife and kids, not someone I have never met it a conference!.
Yes, I know what you mean and why you wrote this article. And I have to say that the Tony Robbins seminars nowadays are made for "Joe Public". Kept "simple" intentionally, etc., etc. You see, I was only 20 years old when I read Tony Robbins Book "Unleash the Giant Within". I'm German, so even back then I read the German translation. THAT was what I needed to know and I set to make the plan for my life before anybody else could. Thanks, Tony!!!!! 40 years later I have achieved everything that I had written into my plan, I have a great and fulfilled life, because of Tony Robbins and because I followed through with his suggestions. I even studied NLP. But I could NEVER attend one of those seminars he is holding for the "Joes Public", I would also need a more personal approach if I wanted to go into any special direction. Sometimes I watch Tony's videos, maybe to "freshen up" on some stuff that slipped my mind, but hey! Life is great and I really do so wish that all the Joe Publics have the intelligence to DO and FOLLOW THROUGH what Tony teaches.
I love that Tony Robbins was such an influence on your life and that you give him credit for that...but mainly that you took action and implemented what you learned, got refreshers when you needed it, kept the momentum and commitment. Your story is as inspirational as any of the comments or Noah's article. I'm really glad Noah wrote the article though. I've read and listened to a lot of Tony's stuff, and have considered attending a live event, but would have been really disappointed if it was superficial or designed to reach "Joe (or Jill) Public." Thank to Noah for creating a space for people to share their experiences with Tony's live seminars.
Yes, his original book Unleash the Giant Within, probably helped a lot of people.
But he has gone nuts with power and money, and given in to the Rock Star attitude.
Dancing and Bragging, and charging 20 Million for a 3 day "show".....
It has become ridiculous and sad.
i use your product as well and love it! i use tonys stuff also and love it! different strokes.
Gay Hendrix' book helped me a lot as well. You may want to change it to his correct name though...you wrote "Gayle."
Interesting points. I don't see what he does as gimmicky, I do believe he is trying to tap into something by using various techniques and strategies to do so. For some people it will be experienced as cheesy, while others will feel moved. I have someone I am close to who originally started with AR's older programs. They used it daily and then by coincidence went on shortly after to make drastic changes and have success and then acted like it had no influence ?. Even now they are skeptical of him, but in my mind miss the point. We are our own gurus and no one person or program will fit everyone or change everything. If it doesn't resonate with you then it just doesn't. I think this article is a perfect way to actually give TR the opportunity to gain more credibility by acknowledging some people feel this way and giving useful feedback he will surely see this and use that to change the perception.
Holy crap the comments here!
I feel as if I stumbled across some kind of virtual Stepford Wife forum, thanks to some of these commenters.
I was always curious about Tony Robbins, since he does rub elbows with a lot of famous people. But famous people need pepping up just like the rest of us. Which is okay. But jeez, I likely would not have lasted the day.
Noah, your posts are very helpful and interesting. And I have to say that this one scratched an itch I didn't know I had until I read it. Thanks, dudebro
I have to admit that's a very, very , very, creative way to promote yourself. After you read a couple dozen books, and put the work in, you will realize that all so called "Gurus" say the same stuff that Nike says better, just Do it. P.S. You got me to read your whole article, good job, but I will not buy your stuff I'm not into negative selling.
I felt the same way! He's a competitive to Tony. Lol
He keeps deleting my comment about Large Group Awareness Trainings aka New Age Religious Movement cults. It must strike a chord with the scam he is trying to run himself.
Inspiring insight! To thyself be true and trusting in yourself is key to finding what we are searching for
Amen!
I feel much better knowing sim not the only one to feel this way. Good for Tony, but it's not about him.
This reply is quite possibly one of the best crafted responses I've seen. Kudos to you. lol
Thank you. I can totally relate to what you have experienced.
In Canada, we have other big names that can draw big crowds to their events. I have watched many TR videos and found him very inspiring. I still have a great respect for the human being he is and the business he has created. I'm at a point where I like to experience deeper conscience oriented workshops. As a professional coach, It took me some time to find a combination of tools that I felt were providing deeper inner work to the people attending our events. My wife are now doing our own workshops. We talk in front of the group for 10 to 20 Minutes and we then break in smaller groups of 4 or 6 people and we facilitate an interactive game call Points of You™. I find it more fun and more powerful. Half a day or one day and group dinner. The TR of this world do a great job at teaching people that they can change their reality if they commit to it. But it takes something that goes deeper with more focus to make it happen. The more groups of 10,000 people the better. As they will eventually become great prospects for you and for us.
Thanks again
Jean-Luc Marcil
Professional coach and facilitator
Co-founder of Ho'oWow!® Workshops
Quebec, Canada ??
I attended a one day event in dublin in either 2015 or 2016 with several speakers. I bought a cheaper ticket and i have to say im glad i didnt pay for a full UPW weekend. I really feel that alot of the materials can be gained from internet and reading his books without spending so much to attend his seminars. I found his methods and ideas to be very helpful for achieving breakthroughs when i was in college, however i did not feel there was much new to learn from the seminars. The exercises to get the audience into peak state were cheesy. Tony definitely spends too much time tAlking about his achievements as though hes going for a job interview. He also said that he never had anybody complain about his ability to deliver results and he always makes things better because thats his standard CANI. However, its hard to give negative feedback when theres no feedbAck forum to do so. I had a free consultation with one of his online coaches whom i found to be unprofessional and ignorant in his judgment of my situation. While tony robbins is a brilliant communicator i think sometimes he tries to come up with solutions to everybodys problems when sometimes it would be better to admit that he doesnt have all the answers. I also feel he tAkes too much credit as a lot of his concepts are actually taken from other life coaches i. E. Jim Rohn but i feel like he passes them off as his ideas a bit too much. But on the whole i have to say he seems genuine about what he does and nobody is perfect. I think hes a good guy.
I don't think you have to justify not liking the Tony Robbins seminar. You can say: that guy is just strange looking,' and that would be okay for me. Even if you said: "There is the possibility he is ripping people off," that is a good enough reason not to go in my book. There are so many interesting and fruitful activities to pursue in this life, many people will never ever make it to a Tony Robbins event and still be happy and satisfied. It's not like you are the only person in the world who he turns off. And I seriously doubt it's because you are missing some inner "knowing," his fans have access to. There are a million other ways I would spend 2000 bucks and I feel no twinge of self-recrimination. I actually take it as a sign of my intelligence.
Hi, I would love to speak with you about your experience more, I had s similar reaction but have found a much better community of people like you talk about and would love to share back n forth with you because I believe you could be a big inspiration to myself and others in many ways. I am all about 'Playing At Life' and enjoying every aspect of my life and finding fulfillment and passion in everything I do all while being 100% authentic and vulnerable. Hoping we could catch up one day...
Thanks for this I had heard good things about tony but i was starting to doubt that my own practice as a counsellor wouldn't be good enough as others had said that counselling is a thing of the past and doesn't help and that they prefer tony robbins etc this makes me realise it's not a fit for everyone and I believe you need to go into your past and swim around in it, fully understand it, go through acceptance and forgiveness before you can create a future and do all of that dancing hoopla stuff tony does! Great article and good on you for listening to yourself
Tony had the wierdest clap you've ever seen??? You clearly missed Nicole Kidman at the Oscars
Hi I'm Gavin I attended DWD back in 2011 in Qld I loved it there was plenty I liked and plenty I took with a grain of salt.
I learnt Tony was a graduate of Landmark Forum which is good but both have a push to sign you up for the next cse.
I like the getting to know your neighbours and making contact with people I had a grievance with. I'm happy to read your experience and you've had a break through..
You saw what you needed and took action.
Fark I sound like a coolaid drinker.
I'm not. I'm Gavin.
Trying new things? Tony's event is not about trying this and trying that and being a dabbler. It is about sticking to your goal and follow through all the way. I respect your decision to walk out, of course, but clearly you want more specific things than what UPW offers. That's not UPW's fault, much less TR's. It's just not the right event for you. The things you pointed out about what TR didn't do well were just your personal views, not actual problems with the event itself. If you thought TR's clapping was weird (I noticed that, too, but was not bothered) and you didn't like strangers touching you and they were part of the reason you walked out, then I have to say you were focusing on the wrong things. No event is perfect. It's about whether YOU are able to get the most out of it, especially when you've paid for it. I just came back from UPW London 2017 and thoroughly enjoyed it, not because it was flawless (believe me, I'm a fault-finder if I want to be one), but because I was determined to get my money's worth. By the way, maybe by writing this article, you are seeking a little signifinance and attention? And by asking people's emails when they leave comments, you are building a client mailing list? (Not that I mind) Last but not least, because you didn't experience the whole event, your rationalising your walk-out reasons maybe is a little unsound? Or maybe you know all along that you are just trying to market your own business? which I totally understand. Good luck!
your right - I would like to say disorganised too that on day one having paid for premium seats we didn't get one and we got pissed off with all the up selling - I didn't walk out as I was gutted the money I spent and saw it through. I WENT TO LEARN AND DAY TWO WAS JUST REPETITIVE TO THE EXTREME WE LEFT as small bang in the middle they were selling other services which in my opinion was not the time - I can't understand that someone with so much status has poor organisation on events and poor customer service when things go wrong like you I'm not in fear I speak the truth from the heart and they need to step up and wake up and learn
Did you attend UPW, Business Mastery or some other event?
Everyone should read the book Sham by Steve Salerno. He includes part of the book on Tony Robbins and how his seminars didn't bring much long term results to his attendees despite their optimism. Unfortunately I read the book after I bought the tickets, but fortunately I was able to get a refund on UPW. I too walked out of the seminar (and bought a flight ticket to California) and felt a lot of his speeches was a bunch of nonsense and smoke and mirrors.
Dude, this is a useful article but you're a brown belt turning up to see the black belt master intiate the white belts. The point of the weekend is to 'awaken the force and use the unlimited power that resides in all of us'..... You did that already!
Good points, and good that you went on immediately to start re-organising your next day
I completely agree. I read a ton of self help books, and I generally find all self help material pretty energizing. However, I find Tony Robbins following to be too cult-like. A Tony Robbins event is intoxicating, but it's also filled with gimmicks. 10% of those events may be dedicated to issues and genuine personal development. The other 90% is filled with tricks to inflate your ego and provoke your brain into a dopamine frenzy.
Spot on, totally agree with you. Some good points in general but to cultish and superficial for myself.
From someone that cannot get past chapter 3 of Unlimited Power.....I thank you!
I'll get more from your post and probably your seminar than a TR megablast.
Thank you Noah
I 100% agree with this and resonate with you. Im sat in a hotel in London and was feeling rubbish about walking out and spending £5K. But now ive turned it round to empowerment. Thanks for your review!
20 years ago I attended such events with another high spirited dude, I can't recall his name, I felt pretty much like you. After the middle of the second day, the speaker told us that if any one of us had any doubts about the true meaning of this 3 days seminar, he or she could leave at break time. No question asked. So I did, but on my way out one of his staff intercepted me and wanted to know why I was leaving, he used some bubblegum psychology to keep me in, but my intentions were solids, then another guy came, a bite more persuasive this time, then another one who spoke about the devil to me.
I had to run out of the auditorium, with a throng of preachers and followers following me and accusing me of many wrong doings. I must admit, I could not hide a large grin while being chased.
I'll stick to the bible.
Great article and as someone who walked out of his seminar in London 20 years ago for every reason you've listed, it's good to know it's not just me LOL!
I'm going to see Tony at Unleash the Power Within in NY but I want to make it a trip for myself. I think he is great but I really need a break from life, a "me" weekend. I love what Tony does and have read his books but I need a way out without others knowing. Is there a way of getting out of the seminar without other people checking up on me to see if I went or do they take attendance each day??? Thank you for any advice! Regards, Wallace
hi currently doing upw in london , uk. they do not take attendance. you are free to walk in and out as you please.
I'm shocked so many people feel they need to be lead around. Blaze your own pathway, and follow your own dreams.
Yayaa!! I'm Gonna send you $2000 Nick
Mad respect! I really appreciated this article and point of view. Thank you for sharing.
I wasn't sure about the clapping style either
Hey man you should have paid me £2000 to give you a pep talk I would have made you feel great about yourself. !!
Joking aside, Tony Robbins is an entertainer... well paid and good at what he does. BUT the only person who is going to make you a better person is YOURSELF.
I respect you for your article man - it takes courage to share an opinion that differs from the masses.
It's all a big feels injection. A big Love Bomb. A cult's favorite and most effective tool. They pray on the broken spirits that give anything to be whole again.
"Love Bombing"! Yes! Then break you down about your most traumatic experiences, build you back up so that you believe they've done something for you. Cults are everywhere and growing by the day.
I love Tony Robbins!
Well fuck me sideways.
Sorry to be profane, but sometimes you gotta say what you think.
All the yesses, Noah. Not for having a contrarian opinion or, being bold enough to say something that could be seen as dissenting about some one hailed as a god in certain circles. But for knowing yourself and having enough integrity to keep it pushing when it became clear there was nothing more to gained from your attendance.
I should prolly get back to work now.
Great scam he has going 20 years.
LOVED IT! Although I thought the same things about his seminars just from watching some videos in YOUTUBE... too cheesy and self-promoting. I believe he 's smart and gifted and goodhearted but I really don't like his methods. I don't think you should have been embarrassed to walk away. If it is not for you, you just leave. Normal and understandable. I walked away from your entrepreneur course 😉 just because I didn't think it was the right thing for me although I appreciated it and I think you are a genius!
Excellent post that is 100% transparent and much appreciated.
I Enjoyed reading this. I would just be careful about promoting yourself so wholeheartedly during your articles. I do find that with MANY personal development bloggs I am bombarded with this kind of 'click here' stuff. It's exhausting. Just a link to your website or another interesting helpful article would be enough. Otherwise it just reads like self promotion. Not a bad thing, I get it BUT.... not at the expense of others. Hope you take my feedback in good faith and can come from a more authentic angle in future.
I thought the same!:)
Hey! I am totally new to your site , but love it! When I saw the title of this post, I didn't want to read it 😀 It was because I will be attending UPW in London in 3 days and I don't want to ruin it for myself. I will read this article after I have attended the event. But just for you to know, I'm a 21 yo Business Administration student from Estonia, who sometimes feels absolutely worthless and miserable, but knows that feelings come from thoughts. So I made a decision to create a really awesome life for myself and started to read books and talk to people more. Now I want to move to the U.S and open up my own clothing line.
If anybody wants to contact me: kirkeruuven@gmail.com
So, how was it?
Very brave of you to leave. It's not always easy to do, especially when you've spent $2,000.
I was at the same event in LA and I absolutely felt the same way. I ended up spending a lot of time at a nearby coffee shop during the event, working on goals and doing business planning. One day of quality content would've been a lot better.
Yep attended the wealth mastery paid a ridiculous amount of money. Imo the 3 days was one big Informercial!!!! Where in top of the amount we paid, we had to purchase in to the scheme each presenter had to offer!!! No genuine tools to help anyone to pursue their individual goals.... funniest thing I paid for the gold members seating where we were fed lunch! Promoting so much about Health TR had whole bunch of crap processed and fried food... until I voiced my opinion regarding the crap being served!!!
Valuable point no concept of. Organisation and attention to detail for the food - my thoughts too
In my opinion to say that tony's event wasn't worth it is a contradiction since you took away some of his lessons from the event and read his materials in your personal day development checklist.
Great article. Thanks for sharing. I recently discovered Tony Robbins as he's not so big in the UK. I'm really enjoying reading his book but don't think a conference would be right for me. Good for you for making that decision and taking action. Too many times we put up with things and then look back on them as a wasted experience. And then you also turned it into a huge positive.
I attend similar seminars regularly. Not at the same cost. If any fluff or cheesiness starts I walk out. I want the presenter to cover in depth on situations. It could help people in the audience. Americans seem to have a fair amount of pomp and hoohar around things like graduations etc ceremonies with bands etc. I'd walk out on them my times valuable i have things to do no time for that type of hype and bullshit. I hate the hype, just do what your paid to do and don't expect me to bow down to you like your a god.
Wow! Nice post. Very refreshing! However, in a weird way, it reads to me as though you got a lot out of Tony's seminar, albeit a lot quicker than you anticipated. Just look at what you achieved achieved afterwards. The question, I guess is, would you have achieved those same things, & within that time frame, had you never attended Tony's seminar?
Socrates...
This article was genius and an amazing way to self-promote/advertise. I honestly wish I would have thought of such a creative way to gain attention and throw a few links down at the same time. I never read these things (as I found this article on FB) and yet was drawn to it because I love Tony Robbins and have never seen or heard someone give an educated/detailed description of something negative about him. But the bottom line is that you didn't see it all the way through therefore you threw in the towel without seeing what the product was in its entirety...and for that I can poke holes all day long. If you would have completed the "journey" and saw what the product looked like when it was finished I would have been more interested in your opinion...I mean after all most people attend his events because they are masters in not following through and completing their set goals right? I should know though because it's the story of my life and why I am such an avid fan of TR. ??
Lol, yes, perfect response!
Noah, I think I can related in that I'm the intellectual type and I think a lot as well. I find it comes naturally being an tech entrepreneur.
I meditate daily. I love reading about mindfulness, the upanishads, what Buddha taught, etc. But reading about meditation is not the same as meditating, just like knowing all those UPW insights isn't the same as "feeling" those understandings.
Intellectually, I probably already knew 98% of what Tony taught that weekend, with an very occasional a-ha insight. But let's be honest here, what Tony teaches isn't exactly rocket science. 🙂
What I didn't understand though, was what chills feels like when 8,000 people are shouting 'I am the voice' or what tears feel like when the same 8,000 people are going through a guided meditative process. That group energy is what brings people back to the event over and over. That group energy is something that cannot be replicated by oneself. And that group energy happens on day 3.
The best way I can describe it is if you imagine your favourite football team in the superbowl, scoring the winning touchdown, and the whole stadium erupts with you in the middle of the stadium going crazy...except you're not celebrating a touchdown, you're celebrating your own transformation with 8,000 other people. That climatic feeling of that moment is what gets stored your nervous system, and in my opinion is what makes the live events worth it.
Unfortunately, the first 2 1/2 days (with the exception of maybe the fire walk), is 30 hours of common sense advice, intellectual word twisting, and generic self help "counselling" that gets repeated over and over again. For those people that make it to the 3rd day however, is the big payoff with 4-5 hours of integrative group process work that will bring tears, vulnerability and conviction to your heart and transform your life forever.
You would've had lots of time to speak to your fellow attendees had you stayed. I've made so many lifelong friends from years ago from UPW because we went through this process work together.
For UPW, the sum is definitely greater than its parts.
Hey Ken. You hit the nail on the head about the impact of being in a sea of people all celebrating and pushing themselves to go further. Just came back from UPW in Newark with 14,000 people in hockey arena.
Thanks for your article. Tony's audio books have got me through really tough times and I think he is amazing. But it's interesting to read your experience.
Thank you for making your writing public, I would like to say you noted the best -- and yeah taking note is hard, I know haha . thank you for your hard work
I prefer Dr. Eric Thomas "the hip hop preacher"
I'll just leave it at that.
Wow! That was some unbiased, constructive feedback. I really appreciate your conviction to keep it real on the pros and cons. Your honesty and integrity are already putting you in a position for great relationships. I'm excited for you because I know that ,by remaining honest with yourself, you will attract the people you desire to share your journey with you. Well done sir!
Sounds like you got your monies worth. Refund your refund.
This event is a 3 day build up and leaving after day one just proves you don't have the grit to last the 3 days. Go through transformation day and tell me it was a waist of time. Everyone who has read this article is now dumber for have read it. This article was a waiste of time!!!
I disagree with most of what you have said. But that is the beauty of this life. We don't have to agree on everything, and Tony Robbins isn't going to be for everyone. I personally commited to UPW 100% to make sure I didn't cheat myself or feel like I wasn't willing to go all out. It changed my life because I was open to changing myself. The event taught me a ton of things.
You empowering yourself by walking out is a positive from the event and I applaud you.
This is my persective of UPW and of this article. Neither, of which, are negative.
You have great timing. I have great respect for Tony Robbins. He is an inspiration for thousands of people. However I watched "I am not your guru" last night and felt that there is something missing.
It seemed like a lot of the attendees would benefit from long term counselling. I don't doubt some peoples lives will change from DWD, especially if you got one and one time with Tony. But for some the elation will wear off and how prepared are they to deal with that.
Yes!!! Thanks for this .. it's the relationship that heals, understanding of the person, acceptance of the past and forgiveness and love not "goals and just looking at the future!" Glad you said said helps me to have more faith in my counselling practice
Well done, thinking on your feet is great.
Great post. Absolutely agree. People get addicted to external motivation - it's like opium that leads nowhere unless you really trust yourself to form your own development routines and take action upon them. Thanks, Noah.
TR truly changed my life. The start of all his seminars you are asked to play full out. If you do you get full results.
Hi Noah,
I signed up for the upcoming UPW in London a couple of weeks before I came across your blog... Interesting. It did make me reconsider attending it and I tried to cancel but I was too late (14 day cooling off period had passed). So my question to you now is: in what terms did you get a refund afterwards? Many thanks!
I was able to get a refund while UPW was happening. My excuse was that I had to wait in line for a couple of hours and therefore missed part of the event. Another excuse that I had was that Tony Robbins is not there the whole time. They have another speaker and they show videos of Tony Robbins on several TV screens (which you can actually do from home). First they didn't let me, but they said come back later today. So I did and gave the TV excuse.
Instant positive jargon pick-me-ups work for a few days but don't address the real psychological issues driving them. Better of with a good psychotherapist.
It's too bad you didn't stay for the entire event. The reason why it's stretched out into 4 days is because there is so much material to cover. It's not just "fluff" as you put it. It's all designed and put into place to help keep the audience engaged for 10 hours straight for 4 days in a row. Do you realize how difficult it is to keep an audience of 10,000 people engaged for 10 hours a day for 4 days in a row? It's also designed to help you retain the information a lot better.
As a matter of fact there was tons of energy in that auditorium for the entire event. That says a lot about how well the whole thing was put together. It's not just a pump up feel good fest either. They gave out a lot of practical advice, and very knowledgeable in -depth information about human psychology, health, money, relationships, etc...
There was a woman there where Tony went really deep into her issues. He over delivered and went over the time he was supposed to. He really cares about delivering results and not just sticking to some schedule.
It's great if you feel like you made the right choice, but I think it would have gone better if you had been able to go with an open mind. Honestly you get out of it what you put into it.
Anyways, great article it was interesting to read from your perspective.
Tony's words are like a great drunk! It sounds great Til the next day
Thank you Noah for sharing this honest opinion. I am one of your Sumolings on Appsumo, and really appreciate what you did there and here. I read most of TR's books including the latest one about money, and yes he did inspire me but I long had doubts about this event, if it's right for me, and today you cleared my doubts. If I go, I'd likely feel what you felt.
I think this dilemma and lesson is important for our fellow entrepreneurs and your honest sharing will benefits lots of people. Thank you!
p.s. I clicked on a FB sponsored post... did you spend money to promote this article? If so.. thank you!
Very interesting read Noah. I, like most, have seen Tony in many videos, never in person though. I have thought about it many times and will probably end up going at some point.
I found your writing very informative and thoughtful. I haven't seen anything else you have written, but I am going to look now, as you stayed positive and provided facts and stated when it was your opinion. Much appreciated.
While I didn't read them all, I found that the people commenting were very respectful and have good heads on their shoulders. Bravo to you and your followers, very impressive to see such a fine group of people.
Hey Noah. I really enjoyed your post. I have felt the same way at some events but because of the hassle of the money back guarantee I have not been as bold as you to walk out but props for taking hold of your life and valuing your time enough to do so. I would like to connect with you via either e-mail, Facebook, or simple phone conversation. Don't hesitate to reach out and let's connect. wealthbeforeriches@gmail.com
The answers are within yourself, not in an external motivational speaker. he is there to superficially support everyone. The deep work only comes with a mentor/trainer/and self work. I liked your choices, and reasons.
I enjoyed your articles. Even though I love Tony, his energy and what he does I really like the idea and your reasons for walking out.
I paid $600 to attend, and not long after, as a result of what I learned at the seminar, I increased my income by 5x, met the woman of my dreams, got in the best shape of my life, and really took my life to extraordinary places. After that, I started learning from all sorts of other teachers in personal development, spirituality, health, psychology, etc. These days more and more people are bashing Tony Robbins. The fact is, he has helped countless individuals make seriously awesome changes in their life. If you already have a strong mindset you won't get much from his seminar, but if you're like I was, afraid in life, with no role models to learn from in your family or friends, he can really help you change your mental outlook and provide you with strategies on how to improve your life. Of course he is not for everyone, as his style is a bit rock star and showmanship, but if he helps people get results, I think that is pretty cool.
Great response Matt, and thanks for sharing. I'm really glad it worked out for you and I appreciate you taking the time to write a counter-story
(At the risk of being too involved or not enough) We as humans all want one common thing to be cared about and to feel included. It is easy enough to make a huge group of people feel loved, but at the end of the day everyone has their own perspective on life, you can't make anyone change the way they lead their life. It all really is an inside job and all the coaxing/coaching in the world is not going to work unless the individual wants to change. Sadly people are afraid to take the leap and make a successful life, the scars you speak of are very real and people are afraid of changing their lives, the scars need to be addressed and worked through to get the result a person really wants. There are many things that happen when a person wants to change their lives, some move to another city or State, some may break off a relationship, some may quit their job. These are just a few examples of how changing your life can be a really scary experience. What people need is people to listen to them and understand who they are and how they perceive their lives. People need people to know that someone cares if they succeed or not. Humans are a fragile lot and we do not take that into consideration when interacting with them. You can tell people what to do till you are blue in the face but you cannot make them accept the fact that they are indeed divine and wonderful. They have to learn it for themselves, its hard for people to love themselves. Sounds like you have learned to love yourself and have strong hold on life. I love that . . .
I've never been to a Robbins event though I've listened to much of his content for free on YouTube. I listen to many motivational teachers and there's a common thread in the message - they just present it with their particular spin. Whatever speaks to you that you can apply to your life and put into action is what works-
Congratulations in making the choice which was right for you, and for sharing the rationale behind making that choice.
Stepping into your power - and owning your choice whatever that may looks like is critical to living a happy and successful life.
My own experience of UPW was life changing but the moment was created by an unknown guy in the firewall.
I'm a wheelchair user. At that time I could hardly manage a few steps. I completed the firewall and was thrilled. I looked behind me at the next participant. He was a double amputee who completed the firewalk on his hands.
In that moment I decided I would never let my disability limit my horizons. In booked to go to the USA by myself to attend Date With Destiny the next day. A huge leap of faith.
Since then my horizons have become unlimited. Living proof that if you believe you can't is a done deal. If you believe you can anything is possible!!
Gina
Gina
As a speaker and pastor, totally correct with Robbins. If you watch "I'm Not Your Guru." you'll hear and see the language and tone he exhibits to a young lady and her mother. Any person who can talk to anyone, not just a female, but especially a lady like that, is sadly lacking in character. Amazed of many people can't see right through this guy.
Thank you for this honest, thought out article. I hope he actually reads this and considers your suggested changes. The comments here are so refreshing! Normally, I can only make it past a few comments on an article before they digress into juvenile name calling, or political bullshit. But here, I can honestly say that I enjoyed reading all the comments as everyone respected each other even if they disagreed, how there was genuine appreciation for another's thoughts. Just intelligent, unpretentious people all around. I couldn't help but think to myself, "where the hell have all these people been hiding?"
In my 60 years in life I have tried tons of programs , psychics, counseling Horoscopes and more and nothing made me feel whole until I turned my life and will over to Jesus Christ I was basically an athiest living life how I wanted to He took away my guilt and shame and is still making me confident in him day by day I may not be rich money wise or have a great career but I found early on that those things don't truly satisfy You always want more And I like the confidence that when I leave this earth that there is so much more I pray for people that struggle as I did with all this stuff It was an awful time of confusion and despair Try it you won't be disappointed And you are already deeply loved you just have to believe and receive
I have faith in Jesus too, but I've spend many hours in church hearing pastors rant about how terrible man is and how horrible the earth is. What's the point of living then? In my 61 years I've come to believe all that the greatest religion is kindness (which was in the compassionate heart of Christ) and God wants us to live boldly, to our full potential, and in service to those less fortunate.
Personal development starts on the inside, there is no magic formula. Robbins' seminar serves as the match for those who need it to start the fire. The lesson I get from the article.
You missed out on a great event! I was there too. Sure he sometimes talks in circles, but Ill take a bit of bad for the 1000 plus GREAT points. He gets us out of our comfort zone so we can expand.
I've been on one free Tony Robbins seminar 10 years ago and another his short presentation before movie about him. It was interesting, he is brilliant, but 2 times were enough for me to pay more money and put more time into it. Documentary movie is well done and proves that his seminars and he personally helped to many people. As for me, I found it is too much marketing and not sophisticated approach to people's problems.
You did the right thing for yourself. I am not one to be touching people and jumping up and down like a lunatic either... Bob Proctor is the man for me... Tony is a bit much for me. To high strung, and to full of himself. Many people like that kind of thing, and than there are others that don't care for that kind of thing, and I'm that other. I really think Tony is doing a fantastic thing on helping people, but lets be honest here $2000 $5000 75K that is absolutely ridicules
I paid $600 to go and as a result, increased my income by 5x, met the woman of dreams, got in the best shape of my life, and am happier than ever. I would say my investment will be continuing to multiply my income for years to come. "Let your wallet invest in your mind, and pretty soon your mind will be investing in your wallet. Before I learned from Tony, I made $30,000 a year at a job I hated. That UPW seminar helped me break through my limiting beliefs about becoming an entrepreneur. Last month I made $15,000 in passive income that I will get for the rest of my life. Sure glad I payed to go to UPW. So, I don't think he's prices are ridiculous, only ridiculous for people that don't value investing in themselves.
I can relate. There comes a time in our devolement when we're filled and feel complete.
Further devolement becomes more specialized and personal. We are no longer able to accept the stroking of the ego or the love. We're no longer in and of the world, we are Ourselves .
Wonderfully crafted, Noah, though it is a shame that you had to thoroughly defend your right to have a negative experience from TR supporters.
Huge kudos to you for creating your own experience to suit your needs.
**I have a proposal for you if you want to read to the end.**
I was in LA with you (I think I recognize Galen Center), and I stayed for the whole event. I have *many* of the same criticisms that you do (e.g. the upselling, name dropping, meandering topics), but thought you'd be curious to know why I (a physicist by training) thought that it was worth it, and for reasons I think you will appreciate.
Why does Navy Seal BUD/S training subject candidates to the most extreme physical and mental challenges they can imagine?
Why do you have to push your body and muscles outside their comfort zone to get stronger, faster, better?
Why do you have to jump up and down and scream and clap like a lunatic for 3 days?
Answer: Growth.
The human body & mind grow when stretched beyond their usual operating limits. Tony uses this principle deliberately, pushing people to do *something* that looks bizarre and cultish (like people chanting YES as they walk on hot coals.) And Tony's unspoken assumption is that most people are operating waaaay below their true limits because of self-limiting beliefs.
That *something* he is doing: Training you how (not just telling you how) to take control of your mental & physical energy and put it in a positive, confident "peak state". Whenever they tell you to, whether it is 9 am or 1 am, when the music goes on, you discover you can rock out as hard as you want. And you want to, because it feels good--much better than your regular ho-hum life of waiting for shit to happen *to* you instead of making shit happen.
And with this state-change skill practiced over 3 days--via constant "interruptions" of music and jumping and even the hugging to release oxytocin--many are able to control their emotions powerfully. Then, while guided by Tony, they can associate so much pain with their old limiting beliefs that they simply reject them subconsciously. They are simply to unpleasant to believe, and so are weakened without conscious effort. And then from a state of feeling powerful, replace these with helpful, empowering beliefs.
Simply, it is operant conditioning on a large scale. Unfortunately, the payoff didn't happen until Day 3 with what he calls the (Charles) Dickens Process. It was astounding to realize that 9000 people did it, and quite transformative to experience firsthand. (But it doesn't work for everybody, e.g. my wife.) I don't know if you could do it in one day (personally I think not), but that alone made it worth it for me to try UPW.
Of course, I'm also a skeptic. Time will tell how useful it actually was. But that's also up to me. And that's the point. (It has been two weeks, and my energy, mood, and confidence are still high, and self-defeating thought patterns are still much weaker compared to before the event.)
**My proposal**: Do we need an event that focuses on these core principles and practical skills for the skeptical and worldly among us who can't shake the feeling of the "snake oil sales pitch"? Can we build an intensely emotional experience (because its needed to address emotional baggage) that also respects our intellectual side?
Potentially useful tools (for me):
* ENERGY is life -- you've read power of full engagement, so you know what I mean
* move your body & mind to good music -- I'm a dancer so maybe I'm biased, but I think this is key to maintaining good energy throughout the day.
* pain/pleasure conditioning -- don't fight your subconscious beliefs and impulses, reprogram them. Another tactic for habit formation. Efficacy is TBD, but I'm optimistic.
* goal visualization/meditation -- solidify decisions into commitments, made it surprisingly easy to go a week without caffeine or dessert.
* gratitude meditation -- a cure for anxiety and fear. start with just 3, 1 small stupid thing. Or feel as many grateful, proud, and fun memories as you can for an extra boost.
* deep breathing -- check out videos on box breathing from Mark Divine of SealFit/CrossFit
* drink water -- I feel stupid, but I was severely dehydrated before attending and this shook me out of that
This is a reminder to trust in myself and not wait for the "perfect" circunstance to improve and heal. I have to take the knowledge from ny readings and actually apply it..that's when the real work comes in. Thank you soooooo much for sharing your experience!
I respect your point of view and agree with most of what you had to say. Except for the very last quote, I am a mother of two young children and I would never advise them to quit anything. You can change techniques, change outlooks, change courses, even walk out of a $2k personal development seminar, but you can not quit! And if you think about you didn't quit, you created a new personal development day! New perspective, new way of trying to achieve the same goal/outcome. Don't be a quitter. What if Jesus said, "Ah, this cross is too heavy to bear, these people will never change their sinning ways, this isn't what I thought it would be, I'm outty!" What if our founding fathers gave up and didn't fight for us to be a free and independent nation. There are so many more examples of how persevering overcame obstacles and lead to a victory and or greatness. So I'm with you when you say you've got to go with your gut, your gut was saying " TR's UPW seminar wasn't worth the value of spending $2k + dollars on." So you walked out, that wasn't quitting. That was you changing course and making a new plan for your personal development training. Which is what a winner would do! Be blessed young man and I hope you achieve whatever you set out too. Change your perspective, change your techniques, but please oh please don't ever quit until you make it!
Interesting perspective and honest response which I'm sure will
Get you varied responses. I'm all for positivity and empowerment which Tony has but also feel the cost and the description of what you experienced would cause me to walk out as well. So well done for sticking to your principles and much success for the future.
Very interesting perspective. I thought about going thus seminar, but decided against it for financial reasons. After reading this, I think I made the right choice. I don't like superficial fluff and massages from strangers either.
Really interesting... it's the cult of celebratory... 10.000 is to big for really inner transformation but the rush of being in a large group.. I was very heavily pushed by his advertising team. I don't believe in Guru s... interesting reading hour take on his events. Good on ya
Tony depends on using mesmerizing moments. If you read about mesmerism & just how powerful herd mentality & mass psychology can be, you'll see his angle. Jim Morrison did the same stuff in concerts. Preachers do it every Sunday. Doctors can be spellbinding to their patients. If you feel you're in the presence of genius, how wrong would it be not to listen & participate? Then once you're committed to the experience? It's easier to write the check for that next seminar. The next session with your shrink. The next camp runaway with your guru.
Great, honest, engaging post! Thank you! Only thing I can recommend regarding your future goals- it's hard to be in a great relationships, in personal life or at work by putting yourself and your feelings first, getting out of yourself will give a real sense of happiness:))) Having kids, charity work, done with your own hands prove the point by my modest opinion. I wish you to find a real Love of your life , who will put you and your passions first and have many healthy and happy bambinos with her:) God Bless!!!
Thank you!! Always had thoughts about maybe or if I could..... thank you!!
Thank you!
I have to concur your Robbins assessment...but i do appreciate the seminar you did on this post....thankyou and your team for making this.
I never liked toni robbins he is commercial speaker never been to any of his events he does not inspire me i get every thing i want by chanting NAM MYHO RENGE KYO wich will give u every thing u want u have the power indside u to change and have what u want its nichrens buddism its very powerful more than anything TR will say or do and its free
Really appreciate your integrity, honesty and stepping into your own personal truth. That is so powerful and I hear you and can relate to many of the things you shared. Insightful and valuable sharing, thank you.
Howled at Tony clapping! Omg You're hilarious!! Love your raw writing. Re: TR, even though I think Tony is brilliant for being one the 'firsts' to write in the area of performance psychology I've struggled listening to him and I'm generally not into his somewhat condescending rah rah so I, too, would easily 'play hooky' to grab beer with ya ? great job!!
I attended his event 30 years ago. Read all his books and watched his videos on YouTube! Took his free Disk test . Had a free coaching telephone call. He is a good source of information. I will not attend another of his seminars . It comes down to dreaming , purpose, goal setting and taking action and refining and resetting your actions.
Great article! I am going to UPW London in a few weeks! I don't agree with the way Tony works, but still I want to experience it and learn from it.
I believe he has such a powerful mind that he just focuses on what he wants to achieve, but doesn't heal his deep rooted traumas. It's like putting some nice paint on a rotten wall.
We have to go through all our fears & pain to learn the lesson behind it. If we keep supressing our negativity, every time we have a weak moment it keeps following us. Only when we accept all that is can we truly free ourselves.
Tony is not intentionally manipulating people, because he is truly convinced of what he is doing... I love his passion, his power, his dedication! I have a lot of respect for him, and I can learn from him to really go for my goals. The only thing is that he doesn't see the bigger picture and therefor he is kind of misleading people by making them dependent on him and acting like a guru. (And I've been in this guru trap myself in India, living in an ashram, a guru having power over me in much more advanced levels than Tony, but because of this experience I can clearly recognize similar patterns)
Although Tony is not aware of this, so I hope I get a chance to show him with love...
I really hope I get a chance in London to look deeply into Tony's eyes, or give him a hug... to open his heart, because I see a lot of pain in him below the surface...
I have watch peers' infatuation with him for many years. It is like a cult & few seem different after they attend hisprograms.
It reminds me so much of the 60s EST programs.
Bravo for you for being real and stepping up (and out!)! Hey I'm sure he has merit. I'm just not a fan of the "Snake Oil Salesman" approach. And I agree...One Day. Plenty! Get rid of the BS fluff.
I didn't work out either I called up one of his associates told her that it was just about all over I was about to lose my house I had a serious back injury I couldn't work anymore I needed a way out I had $1,000 and was three months behind on my house payment she convinced me to spend the money on the seminar it would change my whole world all the money I would need would appear out of nowhere with just a little work in the right coaching I fell for it with a massive toothache from a tooth that was about to fall out because it hadn't been taken care of when I was in Vietnam I went anyway I had to have break the house I was living in I bought for one reason to resell it they been around to try to buy at the neighborhood a few times before before I bought the house I knew it was a good investment so I went to the seminar expecting a miracle instead she told us at the end of the seminar that the way she got us in there where's to use what she told us it wouldn't to be better at what you do it was to teach you the ability to con others to do what we wanted them to. I was in total shock when I left I really knew it was over there was no money to do anything with so I went home cancel the check for the seminar and spent the money buying airbrush equipment to try to do an up artwork to save my house it never worked it took most of the Thousand to buy the equipment and they came and kick me out of my house no big deal you say well that house is gone now they paved over it it's part of the Dallas Cowboys Stadium parking lot if she had done what she said I would have made at least a hundred thousand profit. That's why you would never see me in the Anthony Robbins seminar he's forgotten he was a big fat ass nerd when is buddy come and talk to him into going to NLP seminar and that's where he got the training program all you idiots to pay him thousands of dollars end of story f*** him.
Great comment. You're probably over developed and therefore past the state of excitement. Simply "happy clapping" doesn't work anymore. Good for you!
Marketing & Sales 101: KNOW YOUR MARKET. Which is not you or me, in these seminars. So what? I'll always love Tony- he's a super human.
I can relate...I think it's interesting that we often look for answers, and then when someone offers a bundle of them...we then analyze it and say, "nah, that's not what I need."
Congratulations! Great move. Just outta the Cracker Jack box personal development coach whose impersonal, addressing an audience of 10,000 who drank the Koolaide, go figure! In-depth up close one on one personal development coaches charge $50 to $ $250 per session. Any SELF RESPECTING, self motivated, "self loving " individual doesn't need to go to a rah rah convention to get a massage by his or her neighbor, most highly skilled reputable massage therapists are available by appointment.
Looks to me like you made great strides in your personal development by walking out. And maybe next time you consider giving $2000 bucks to a " celebrity guru " for " personal development pearls " of wisdom you WAKE UP to the fact that he's DUPED 9,999 people per weekend into personally developing him , while filling his pockets, buying him a jet and fuel, with their own hard earned cash ! PT Barnum said it best...There's a sucker born every day! On with the show Tony, leaving on jet plane, don't know when you'll be back again...And I prefer to keep it that way! Have a great PD day !
Awesome article, Noah. I really like how honest you were in showing the upside and downside of TR and other self-help events. Really enjoyed this!
Wow. Interest thread. I enjoyed the article too.
I like Tony. I enjoyed a single day event I attended 20 years ago, a bit after reading his early books. I never saw Tony as saying he came up with any of this stuff. He readily concedes he read and studied the works of others (as I have) That being said, he packaged it a way that got popular attention. Yes, there is fluff and hoopla, but it is a tool. A tool that exposes some who may not be exposed to such ideas otherwise.
I'm sure it was one of his original overnight infomercials that first exposed me to it all. I have since selectively used his works, along with others, as useful tools.
I happily moved past the fluff and even enjoyed some of it, as I chuckled at my self for getting caught up in it... but, I also am really happy I read his work (as well as Zigs, Earl Nightengale et al) and am able to embrace some of the tools for living as solid and very useful life skills.
There is one saviour and you can find him if you seek him with all your heart mind and soul. Tr is not wise he is a man who denies God, if you want to fix issues read the bible and ask Jesus into your life. All that you need comes free of charge it just requires a choice on your part! For God so loved the world that he gave his only son ( Jesus) that who ever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life! True change and Hope comes from a relationship and knowing God not from a sales pitch!
Amen brother !
Thank You.
I've always had a tough time listing to motivational speakers. They all seem fake. They all seem cheesy. They all seem to pick on me and I become part of the seminar! LOL. Really enjoyed your article. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one "not getting it."
Knowing what u do and don't want and having the force to embrace it or walk way if that's what compels you is the best empowerment a person can have. Good for you on making a choice and acting on it.
Can learn something from any person, place or thing. That little voice on the inside must be listened to.
Hopefully I'm not over-the-top negative but the first time I saw him I said no this is the last man I want to learn anything from ever and I don't know what that was about but I still have that feeling when I see him and I can't explain it but I've never been a conformist either so I'm not seeking what he selling so that's my issue which is a non-issue. I don't understand who could feel attracted to this giant human and no don't touch me mr. Stranger whoever you are just don't touch me if you don't mind and I don't have intimacy problems thank you. I always love but there's nothing more distasteful then a seminar.
You are the kind of guy I would love to hike with.
I love your clarity. But I wonder: if Deida couldn't inspire you on the relationship issue, then who could? Or should I ask: are you looking for shallow or deep?
Or I just don't understand how that question would lead you to TR ?
I have heard horrible things about Tonya retreats. I, the sweat tents where people have died, and were told to stick it out. And feet severely burned from walking across burning hot coals. No Medical aid for miles. He does this out in the desert far away from civilization. His thought is to brainwash people and to make them follow him like a Messiah. I say if you are thinking of going on a retreat, Google this CREEP first! It's all about money at the cost of your life!!!
I see your points and agree with your actions..Some humans know before attending an event of this nature the answers they seek before they even know they're seeking it.
I`m still a nobody myself but i hope to change it by myself..
As did you.
As for Mr. T.. well I could never afford to attend anything of this nature I believe he is a pretty Epic human being.
Perhaps one day I can fist bump with both of you`s 😉
Cheers mate
Hi Noah - Heads up, his name is Gay Hendricks (fix the spelling of his name), author of The Big Leap, and a beloved mentor/teacher of mine. https://willolovesyou.com/love-gratitude/
I'm technically a Big Leap Coach, certified through their incredible programs. I say technically because I don't use that as a title as much, but I highly recommend everyone read the book! It's first on my list: https://willolovesyou.com/books
I would have done exactly what you did. The acting and Tony's comments hit me as superficial and overdone. Would not waste my time watching this egotistical actor or motivational speaker. Cha-Ching$$$$$
Your story of the seminar really made me giggle.
I was on the fence about going to TR and now this has confirmed my gut feeling. From what ive watched on Netflix, YouTube and niw reading your story, i could just see it all in my head. I think maybe he's gotten lost with creating so much energy the seminar is fluffing around far too much.
Thankyou.. i enjoyed your read
Interesting!! Good job
Tony Robbins refunded you?? I'm still waiting for a £134 refund for a double debit on my VISA card I claimed before his eponymous Robbins Research International Limited went bust 30 years ago and he didn't even offer a voucher for goodwill. Just "not our responsibility" was the mantra. I dropped him for coaches with more integrity. You have talent to get 2k back. Congratulations.
I've bailed on a 3 day workshop at the end of day 1, an event that I think was taking its cues from TR. It was all "dance even if you don't feel like it, repeat after me, gesture the way I say," basically non-stop cultish indoctrination.
I was exhausted at the end of a day of it and knew there was no chance I could handle two more days of such intense manipulation, even if I was being manipulated "for my own good."
Meanwhile, there was about an hour of real value mixed in. How I wish they could have made a day of just that value and skipped all the indoctrination crap.
To me, quality material sells itself. If people need to be indoctrinated to upsell them, maybe better to let that sale go. But then, I'm not a multi-millionaire like TR (or the folks who lead the seminar I attended), so maybe they're the ones getting this one right, not me.
Noah,
Thank you for writing so clearly and evenhandedly about your experience. You spent a lot of time covering potential objection of zealots before getting to your point, I don't think that was entirely necessary because what you have to say sounds valid, almost inevitable. To most of your negative comments, I would have to attribute them to the format of the event. I am not seeing the point in attending a seminar with 10,000 people seeking a genuine personal growth experience. That is just a performance or a ceremony, at a price tag higher than a Rolling Stones show. There is no way that you are going to get real dialogue or ability to process one-on-one the issues that you are there for. From what I've read, Robbins came out of NLP background and that drew from study of one-on-one therapy. It seems that the business imperatives, reaching the largest audience that would pay the greatest amount, are prioritized over maximizing what any participant gets from the experience. Congratulations on doing what you needed to do to get to a place of no regrets.
Regards,
Frank
Back some years ago there was a very hot fad for a whole bunch of self awareness and upbeat courses like EST, GESTALT, ARNOLD SEGAL and conversations with a whole bunch of GURUS. All of which are mostly long gone. They all seem to prey on people with emotional issues. All of them charged exorbitant fees and hooked them on additional follow up sessions for even more money. Tony found a niche with his charismatic personality that still preys on the same type of people, but at even more expensive seminars with the same follow up hook to keep them spending, so he can enjoy a very wealthy lifestyle and a private jet. There's very little difference between his method and all those so called religious scam artists that suck in people for the "money". He's able to do it with ten thousand at a time, but the game is still the same. Like all the others, it becomes addictive with high pressure sales pitches, but in the end, very few people with too many self emotional issues do not benefit by it.
I feel using Tony Robins name in a negative title has given you what you wanted. Exposure! However if the level of skill you want from TR was visible in your own speech I'd have understood what youre trying to imply. Unfortunately on this occasion it didn't.
Best of luck and I hope you can show your positives more than someone else's negative next time you type.
Batteries produce energy because they have positive and negative poles and calling a spade a spade is grounding and using it to shovel some bullshit is refreshing to the soul.
I gave up on TR years a ago. I use to hire him and his staff for my selves force, but the meetings turned into a sales seminar for Tony and i had my agents tell me too much see see in the presentations.
This kind of seminar is not for everybody, when you invest money and longer days, expectations from the attendees become higher and top of the mind will always be whether each moment will be worth it. The personal development philosophy has started with TR mentor Jim Rohn and many can just pick up some additional great things from Jim Rohn, Brian Tracy, Zig Ziglar, Stephen Covey, Dale Carnegie, TR... Some of their life changing teachings are centered on this 10 words -'If it is to be, it is up to me'. We are in charge of our life, our moods, our emotions, our mindset, so we can't rely on others to motivate us, we are in charge of our own motivation, we can't blame our parents, our neighbors, the economy and all the people around us for what we have become. They are all master of GOALS, though Brian tracy said that it is not the goal that matters, it is the person that we need to become that matters most. I have learned from them that we can be a better version of ourselves everyday, it should be a self-imposed commitment so I buy their books, listen to their CDs and watch their video and read 1-2 hours a day to keep me sane and inspired.
Your decision Noah to walk out is something you decided for yourself, great sharing.
I know very little about Tony robbins but have completed a life coaching course recently and understand he is a guru in his field. I looked at some of his videos .. saw some exciting things but also saw him call a woman a hoare .. a hoare because of her relationship with her husband.. she kept smiling and seemed happy with what he was saying and suggesting. I thought it was disgusting, unnecessary , crude and completely unnecessary. When someone becomes so successful they can delude themselves into thinking they're not in it for the money, and are vital for others wellbeing. If this is so they should take great care they don't use people in any way , waste their time, make people dependent on them.. I imagine is difficult not to get carried away with ones own mantra. People are sometimes really desperate for something outside themselves to help them. I don't like Tony's style, I don't like the sound of his events. But if it helps people in the the long term have happier lives that is good but surely he doesent have to charge so much or turn it into a fanfare. You are right talking over problems individually is so important.. we'll done on your choice .. well done on walking out ??
To get the most out of self help seminars you need to be the one on the stage. It's all a con folks.