The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

July 18, 2013 - Get free updates of new posts here


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The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
The fear of being rejected becomes the fear of not being good enough. Eventually we become someone that we are not.

We keep searching and searching, when everything is already within us.

We have learned to live our lives trying to satisfy other people’s demands. We create an image of how we should be in order to be accepted by everybody. (Click to Tweet!)

Make agreement with yourself to be impeccable with your word, that truth will manifest and clean all the emotional poison within you. Be impeccable with your word.

How much you love yourself and how you feel about yourself are directly proportionate to the quality and integrity of your word. You’ll feel happy and at peace.

When someone gives you an opinion, “hey you look fat” don’t take it personally, because the truth is that this person is dealing with their own shit. Don’t take things so personal.

People will lie to you to help you with the suffering you want. You have to trust yourself and choose to believe or not to believe what someone says to you.

Before others have a chance to reject us, we have already rejected ourselves.

Find someone whom you don’t have to change at all. Love you just the way you are.

People get drunk (at times) because they don’t like themselves.

Taking action just for sake of doing, without expecting a reward, you will find you enjoy every action. The journey > end. Do your best.

Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Be a warrior.

Develop awareness of all the self-limiting / fears that make you un-happy.

Repetition makes the master. (Click to Tweet!)

Forgive yourself and the self-rejection in your mind is over. Then self-love will grow stronger. Forgive others. You will know you’ve forgiven when you have no emotional reaction to them. Truth is like a scalpel.

You have the power to create hell, an you have the power to create heaven. Your dream is your perception of reality that you can change at any time.

The only reason you suffer is because you choose to suffer. Happiness is a choice.

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14 responses to “The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

  1. Matt Henn Reply

    Thanks Noah!! Good read to start my night. Looking forward to reading it back over again mañana! Happy weekend!

  2. Benny Reply

    You’re cool. And I just sent an email to you about how cool you are. :)

    I wanna send you Tacos, but I’m a student and low on funds. So this is a picture of a Supreme Triple-Cheese Guacamole Chili Nacho Platter™ I made in Mexico a few years ago.

    Hope this makes you think of Tacos, or at least me :)

    http://bit.ly/1dNfH1J

    — Benny

  3. Mark Reply

    I read this book a few years ago and it really changed my life. I think one thing successful entrepreneurs are good at is not taking things personally. It allows them to break through barriers that other people may struggle with when hearing judgement/criticism from others.

    Another book that I really liked similar to this one was “Get off your But” by Sean Stephenson. One of my favorites.

    1. Noah Kagan Reply

      It’s interesting how most things we know but it’s good to hear in new ways and get reminded of them.

      Thanks for the suggestion. Will check out that book.

  4. Daniel Reply

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts. My mom gave me this book about a decade ago and it’s definitely remained a top shelf item in my personal library throughout the years.

    One point about Don Miguel’s book that really resonated with me was essentially that in our sincere desire to be good people, to be attentive to the world, and to help make it a better place, we can simultaneously harbor a heightened sense of vulnerability for becoming wounded by other’s seemingly haphazard negativity. HOWEVER, one of the most important agreements any good person, or man of value, can make with oneself is that when we inevitably encounter the occasional “nasty people” in the world, it’s important to remember that their nastiness isn’t necessarily about us. In fact, it’s often more about them. So, when faced with rejection, the fear of rejection, or even simple aimless hostility, it’s worthwhile to ask: Did we do our best? Did we speak with integrity? Did we avoid making too many assumptions? If yes, then there’s nothing to fear. Keep going.

    In my heart, I’m a dreamer. In my day job, I’m a tax advisor. I can hardly begin to tell you how priceless The Four Agreements have been for me in getting past others’ seemingly outrageous antics about their money matters/troubles in order to get at the real human inside.

    Again, thanks for sharing. Peace.

    ~Daniel

  5. Micky Deming Reply

    Killin it Noah! Always appreciate your honesty and willingness to be introspective.

    The beginning reminds me of John Wooden’s quote: ‘Reputation is who other people think you are. Character is who you really are. Focus on character.’

    Unfortunately, I think we are much more motivated by the opinions of others that we’d ever want to admit.

    Thanks for making us think!

  6. David Heasman Reply

    This is stuff I’ve completely forgotten. Recently I’ve been in some massive seeker mode, like a heatseeker missile just flying through space.

    If I may be so bold Noah: How did you find out about this book?

  7. defiantoli Reply

    Definitely check out anything by Albert Ellis he was the founder of CEBT therapy and is an all round psychology hero. The most interesting for me was this video on youtube where he has a live session with this female patient, and you can actually see the negative thought patterns racing through this woman’s mind from the way he questions her and draws out the underlying reasoning and feeling she was going through. Enjoy :-)