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The Guide to Avoiding Small Talk

How many times have you been to a party and someone asks:

What do you do?

Where are you from?

Oh, how do you know them?

So I give you the 10 tips to avoid small talk with people and get an interesting conversation:

1- Read How to Win Friends and Influence People, Never Eat Alone & What Should I do with My Life.

2- Check these sites daily: Msnbc, digg/slashdot/techmeme, popsugar and People/US Weekly while waiting at the grocery market.

3- Details. While the other person is asking questions always ask for details on questions. When people tell me they had dinner at a restaurant, I usually ask what kind, how was it, recommendations and all other details about the place. You may end up eating their one day.

4- The game. Spend the conversation trying to learn one new thing. Even though most people seem really boring I am sure they know or do one cool thing. Try to figure it out.

5- Compliments. Someone emailed last week and said my writing is decent. I was completely flattered and realized complimenting people really makes a difference.

6- STFU. For those who don’t know the acronym, it means listen more than you speak. You already know your own stories, tales and adventures. These other people have been alive 20-60 years or more I am sure they have some good ones to hear.

7- Tennis Super-star. Try to talk with new people at places you already go to. I met a guy at the tennis courts where I was practicing and we chatted about guess what? Give up? Okay fine, it was tennis. That situation just makes it so much easier.

8- Find a commonality. Yea this is generic and you all know that but it works so well.

9- FOF (friends of friends). Meeting them through another person, you have the great line of how do you know them. Basically spend the next 10-15 minutes making fun of that person. It works really well and leads to some other great conversations.

10- The Deal. This is more focused for business conversations but try to find something to follow-up with.

Remember your goal is to meet some great people and find the interesting in them. Now that you have read this you are ready to go from small talk to Big Talk. Make it meaningful.

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