Week 10 | OkDork.com

Week 10

Week 10: Get Better at Story Telling & Writing

Looking for past lessons? Click here: Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4 | Week 5 | Week 6 | Week 7 | Week 8 | Week 9

Everything you do in life is based on words.

And if your business is online, it means that your words have to be doubly effective because you don’t talk to your customers in person. The copy on your page and marketing is insanely important.

What language do your customers use?

What questions are they thinking as they browse your website?

What’ll convince them to make a purchase?

By now you already know who your customers are and where they spend their time. Now it’s time to write copy that converts.

Obviously, I can’t tell the exact words to use for your particular situation, but I want to show you an example of making your writing stand out and be effective.

First, let’s look at the average Craigslist ad:

Now let’s compare that to this Craigslist ad that I wrote last year.

So what’s the difference?

It’s easier to write the first one. Everyone else is writing like that.

The second one sold the car within the hour. It’s for a crappy ass Hyundai Elantra.

You have to find ways to make your copy Standout, Tell-A-Story and Convert.

How do you do get better at writing them words? 🙂

A) Read good writing. Here are the FREE resources that significantly helped me:

  • The Boron Letters by Gary Halbert (To find the letters scroll down and click on “Click Here to View Our Newsletter Archive”. Once there keep scrolling down and you’ll start to see a bunch of the letters below.)
  • My good friend Neville’s insane yet effective writing at Nevblog.com
  • Scientific Advertising by Claude Hopkins

B) Get an editor. Tyler (OkDork) and Anton (AppSumo) edit every single piece of writing I do.

C) Practice. Write and write more. Take an article and then write it from a different angle. Or find a great ad and copy it by hand. What makes it stand out, how is it personal, what story does it tell?

Activity Week 10: Write Your Own Craigslist Ad

1) Anton at AppSumo has a car that barely runs and has 300,000 miles, flat tire, NO AC and the brakes don’t work.

2) Write up an ad that Stands Out, Tells-A-Story and Converts. Leave it as a comment.

3) The three best ads will get a $50 gift card to AppSumo.

Love,

Noah

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30 responses to “Week 10”

Juan F
March 27, 2017 at 3:28 pm

Anton needs to change his car. He hasn’t realize it yet, but he does. Since his attachment to this classic Lexus is so exotic, we decided to let the Colombian guy write up this ad. Exotic too, huh?.
This Lexus was Anton’s dream car when he was in college. So as soon as he made us more than a million bucks through his copy, his spent his bonus on this fine piece of art.
Hey, Anton is really careful with the words, although he is not into details with car-care. The lex’ runs, it needs a little tunning here and there (like a flat-tire and the AC, but summertime is far away, so you have plenty of time to get it fixed).
Since Anton is making us a nice stash editing, we don’t want him to be worried about his baby. We are getting him a new Lexus, this guy is all about that brand. We get it, we at AppSumo also stand for quality.
But if you want to get a dream car (at least a former dream), this is a nice chance. A couple bucks will get this baby just as glowing as it used to be, and the price we are asking for is insanely cheap for a Lexus.
I am sure nobody will stop you in this car. Specially if you don’t fix the brakes before taking it home, which I am sure you will after you see it.
Call us

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Adam Thomas
November 3, 2014 at 8:32 pm

Life is an adventure or it is nothing at all.

What is with today’s cars anyway. Open up the hood and its could very well be a mainframe. Computer chips here,there and everywhere with no opportunity to fix any of it. Even worse – there is no excitement with them, its just a car – zero personality.

Fair warning:

– if you aren’t a tinkerer stop reading and close this.
– if things need to just WORK – click the X button at the top of the screen
– if you are scared of getting your hands dirty – several other cars available

Still here? Well, we have a project for you.

Barely Runs – (Lets break down some alternators )
300,000 Miles – (Personality…300,000 miles of it)
Flat Tire – (Screw AAA)
No AC – (Freon is for rookies)
No Breaks – (Where is the thrill without a little risk 😉

That sound like a few weekends with some friends and the knowledge of a good job?

Once again – this isn’t for the uninitiated.

Include a story of your last fixer upper, and the awesome things you did with it – I’ll knock down the price 10% because I know its in good hands.

Cash only transactions homie! Why would we do it any other way?

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Jesus Garcia-Parrado
October 19, 2014 at 3:33 pm

Mitsubishi Galante 2004
300,000 miles, flat tire, NO AC and the brakes don’t work.

This is the car that my brother used to borrow me when I was out of the city, he wanted to impress his girlfriend, now they are married, Helen confessed, the ring I found belongs to her.

The same car where the sun surprised us meanwhile we try to fix the world and our stomachs eating something after hanging out all night.

This is the car that allowed me travel from the south of Portugal up to north following the coast and continue until arrive Finisterre, sit there and watch the sunset, is just overwhelming.

Life goes on, looking at my car in the garage I think is like my dog, Fred, laid on the carpet, near to the fireplace, always calm, always ready to go with me wherever I go.

Both, my Car and Fred need some love from time to time, but meanwhile continue receiving some attention I’m sure they still have a lot to give.

In case you are interested on buy a legendary car come and have a look, me and Fred will welcome you.

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Jayden Lawson
September 7, 2014 at 10:13 pm

Used this advice to re-post an ad for a monitor that never sold. Sold it the very next day! Here it is: http://www.gumtree.com.au/s-ad/eight-mile-plains/other-computers-software/bright-and-cheerful-samsung-22-inch-monitor-needs-a-good-home-/1056032178

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Mk akan
September 8, 2014 at 2:35 am

That’s cool man.:)

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Enrica
September 5, 2014 at 9:58 am

Oh I never drive, but hey this is a car also I could drive: it’s safe as barely runs and has 300,000 miles, NO AC so you don’t risk to get sick and the brakes don’t work…now…so you’ll need help from a great handsome mechanician to fix them!

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Carlos
September 3, 2014 at 5:50 pm

I know I’m late and my entry won’t count, but I still wanted to participate. Here you go:

Goodbyes aren’t forever.

And this vehicle has lasted well, FOREVER!

You see, I was a young man fresh out of college and ready to take on this world. To do that, I needed an SUV.

At least that’s what auto industry marketers told me.

But instead of an SUV, I found LUV. As in my paramour. My love, my flame.

And while goodbye’s aren’t forever, well, this one might have to be.

Remember your first love? Of course you do. You never forget your first love. And that is what she is: my first love. But just like I grew out of my first love relationship, so must I grow out of my first vehicle love.

Yes, it’s time to move on.

But make no mistake, she’s been there for me the whole way: she helped me move into my first apartment, drove me to my first “real job” interview, took me on my first road trip with my girlfriend (she’s not the jealous type), and took me 2,200 miles to see my brother’s graduation.

She is, as they say, reliable.

But just as humans age, so do vehicles. She’s got some mileage on her (but in a good way), the A/C does not work, and she’s got a bum leg (a flat tire).

And so it is time. Time to sell my first love. To sell it to someone who will take good care of her, just like I did. And to someone who will be taken care of, just like I was.

Give me a call. I’d love to introduce you to her. But be warned! She has a way of stealing hearts.

-Anton
555-1212

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Steve Jobless
August 27, 2014 at 2:02 pm

Headline: No need to Pimp the ride it’s already a pimp in the ride (You)

Excuse me ladies and gents,

Don’t mean to bother you

Well… On second thought I do mean to bother you. This is a glorious day in the Austin because I Mr. SuperPimpExtrordinaire Anton (yes I was a professional pimp don’t judge me) has decided to retire from the pimping game for the married life 🙁

I know, I know it is a really sad day to see me hang up my cane.

However, after 30 years of pimping it is time for me to say good bye to the game, and hello to living in Holy Matrimony.

(Hold your tears till the end, tissue will be provided)

In lew of my absence I will be selling my car aka the pimpmobile to one lucky person. I have cherished my baby for a long time.

To the lucky person who calls me within the next 12 minutes for a free test drive.

They will receive the SPECIAL stories of:
WHAT happened when my car reached 300,000 miles
WHY I never fixed my one flat tire (but still drive on it)
HOW a broken air conditioner became a babe magnet
WHEN the brakes went out on me going down hill

–But wait there’s more—

Just because I loved this car for soooo long. I will hook the buyer up with a free professional complete detail service (worth 180)

Can’t wait to meet the new proud owner of Hottest Ride in the South:-)

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Mk Akan
August 27, 2014 at 7:22 am

I woke up this morning with a pain in my heart.

You see, after contemplating for the last 2-3 months …I finally realized it’s better to let someone special take over and care for my baby.

When I first got her…I used to bath her like every morning before driving her out…shining like a star… into the beautiful morning sunshine.

She got me admirers and fun memories I will never forget. Like the time I was late for an important interview and …for the first time… had to push her to the limits.

She didn’t fail.

I got the job. 🙂

A few months after I got her, I was surprised to know some celebs also had the car.
Cool right?

Yeah.

Unfortunately, the company (whose job she helped me get) gave me a new official car 4 months back…and insist I drive their car to work…and everywhere I go.

This has stolen the time needed to take care of my baby.
Because of this I have neglected her for a few months.

Together we did 300 000 miles …but she now barely runs and sits miserably in the garage. When I checked her this morning …she was resting with a flat tire. Her AC and brakes don’t work anymore.
Apart from these …everything else works great.

The interior and engine is as good as new.

Seat belts, mirrors, wind-shields and her 3 remaining tires (plus spare tire) are still in great shape. The music player she came with … played my favourite songs … is still intact.

She never had major scratches, never visited a panel beater and never needed a paint job.
I treated my baby with respect and took care of her well…so I know a little fixing will get her back on her feet 😉
But I can’t let her sit and rot like this any longer. I need someone special to own her.

Can you take care of her for me?

Can you give her the care I can no longer give?

If you can…and can make me a great offer for her…Just reply RIGHT NOW so we can talk.
By the way…am really NOT desperate to give her away…so if you can’t make a good offer, don’t bother.
I just know that only Someone Who Can Make Me A Good Offer…Can Really Take Care Of Her.

So make me A Good Offer …and I can let you have her.

I really hate to give her away….but I just have to. 🙁

So reply this right now, make me an offer …if you are the special person that finally gets her… you will also get 1 Special gift to help you enjoy her to the fullest.

Talk soon.

Anton

PS- If you are that special person…Don’t delay. Contact me RIGHT NOW and make me your best offer possible before some other dude does…and gets her. I am waiting. ?

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Alexis Anastasio
August 26, 2014 at 1:05 pm

Since my little brother had a car in the driveway I thought it would be appropriate to try the exercise with his project car.

Title: Time Machine

http://longisland.craigslist.org/cto/4638161671.html

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Jayden Lawson
August 26, 2014 at 2:30 am

2003 Lexus RX 300 SUV in alarmingly impressive condition.
Yes, this silky smooth beast of an SUV has 480,000 kilometres on the odometer, but luckily for you – you don’t live in Australia so these wheels have only seen 300,00 miles.

As my dad would say – it’s barely run in.

Coming from a guy who sent his Lexus around the clock (1,000,000 kilometres and counting), that’s saying something. You can also thank your lucky stars that this 4WDriving machine wasn’t imported from Australia, where all Lexus attract the “Luxury car tax” which only those with a highly refined taste in automotive perfection can afford. This RX 300 can be yours this very afternoon if you’re caller number 1 and ready to part with a surprisingly small amount of cash.

Impress your friends by turning up to the barbecue in style. With manual air-conditioning (otherwise known as automatic windows), you’ll be the talk of the town. Not only can you soon head deep in to the forest for that camping adventure you’ve been putting off, you’ll also have plenty of room for all the essentials – like a Kayak* on the roof-racks, 4 camping chairs* (because we’ve all got that friend who forgets theirs), an oversized tent*, and an esky packed full of tasty beverages*.

Just make sure you check the tyres first – I’ve noticed a slow leak on one of them in the past. Give me a bell if you’d like to take a look, have a drive and give the brakes and lights and windscreen wipers a good once over (don’t worry – I pre-filled the water chamber this morning). First in best dressed – I won’t be reserving this for anyone 🙂

*Kayak, chairs, tent, and esky with drinks not included – however I will have a $50 gift card to AppSumo which I’ll consider throwing in if you beg me….

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Darius
August 26, 2014 at 2:13 am

Lexus RX. Elephant White. Roof window. Alloy wheels.
I woke up this morning at 5 AM not to write the car selling ads. But I cannot resist helping when asked. My good friend Adam has sent me an email where asked to sell his older car (he said “Japanese”. He knows what THAT means talking about cars, but not much more, actually). And it’s not just Japanese – it’s LEXUS (have you heard who is making the most reliable cars in the world?). Let’s check this out.
– RELAX! – 4-speed automatic transmission.
– LISTEN (and relax even more)! – 240-watt, 7-speaker Pioneer sound system.
– IT’S A FIVE SEAT SUV WITH FULL SAFETY PACKAGE!- Safety features as driver and passenger front airbags, front seat-mounted side torso airbags, anti-lock brakes, side impact door beams, daytime running lights, and five headrests.
– MAN, YOU COULD CARRY SOME BULK THINGS THERE! – Rear seats could be adjusted forward and back, as well as fold flat for increased cargo room.
– A LOT OF COMFORT FEATURES WHICH ARE STANDARD FOR THE CAR OF THIS CLASS.
Lexus quality enabled this brilliant machine to go the first 300k miles; it will go another 300k. He said, the car can hardly run because of the flat tire. Yes, some care should be applied to that. I have heard, not only tire, but AC as well (which can easily wait for the next season – use the roof window for the air, not only for the sun). The question and the answer is a price of the car. It should free some garage space for another car. It means it should go fast.
So go, check yourself and get it, no time to hesitate. You can get more for the money than you expected.
By the way, Adam’s next car is Lexus as well.

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Zach
August 25, 2014 at 8:44 pm

Two comments/questions (Then, perhaps later, I’ll try my hand at writing this ad as well!

1. Where to get ALL of the “Boron Newsletters” (Instead of just chapter 1)

2. Where to find great editors (And, what to expect to pay and HOW does pay work for a job like that?)

Thanks in advance for any help (Preferably recommendations) in these matters!

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Tyler V
August 25, 2014 at 9:02 pm

Hey Zach! 1) Scroll down on this page http://www.thegaryhalbertletter.com/indexkevinsnewsite.html for the Boron letters. 2) Great editors: start with your circle. If you have a college nearby ask for an intern to help with editing. If you need someone more serious use your network for referrals. Payment varies widely. Sometimes by the hour or, if it’s a lengthy post, the price is per-post.

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Tim
August 25, 2014 at 8:40 pm

Both my recently-departed grandfathers fought in World War 2. One was an Australian Spitfire pilot (one of only a handful. Not bad for a country kid from Tallangatta, you’ll agree). Before flying Spitfires, he flew Wirraways which were a POOR opponent for the might of the Japanese engineering effort and its fearsome Mitsubishi Zeros.

Yep, Pa told me there was nothing that could match the Zeros until the Spitfires came along.

My other grandfather used to fire ground-based machine guns at the Zeros during their endless bombardment of Aussie ground positions in the Solomons, in between taking cover from daisy cutters in slit trenches.

Both of them marvelled at the engineering the Japanese were able to bring to bear in the 1930s and 1940s.

Everyone knows Japanese engineer insanely well right, and if you didn’t, well you just heard it from the horses mouths. Those crazy sushi eating mofos have the chops to make things that last.

And so it goes with their cars from Toyota to the high end stable mate Lexus.

So today on Craigslist my boy Anton is offering his Lexus LX570 for sale.

Why’s he selling? Well he needs to buy an Elantra for his wife and kid and the smaller car makes more sense.

The Lexus has got 300,000 miles on the clock which might seem like a lot until you remember it’s made in Japan. This means this baby is only getting started. I’d be shocked – shocked – if you weren’t with this sucker when it turns over 1 Million miles.

Just think where 700,000 miles would take you. It would almost get you to the moon and back. Now THAT’S a long way.

It’s got a partly-flat tyre but our mechanic buddy Sven offered to fix this for you for free *before* we hand it over.

There’s no AC, which is no probs, as you just wind the window down. I’ve personally never owned a car with AC and I’m all the better for it. My mates with AC cars are all pussies.

The brakes don’t really work so you’ll only really want to drive this with your buddies on a Nascar track until your fuel runs out. Can you imagine the fun and games? Tequila, Nascar track, and jumping in and out whilst the car is still moving. WHAT COULD GO WRONG? (But seriously, Sven can fix the brakes for, wait for it, FREE before we hand it over.)

To summarise:
1 x finely crafted Japenese Lexus 570.
No scratches, no accidents, no smoking.
No AC but electric windows work.
Free fix for brakes and tyre.
300k miles on the clock, plenty more left.
Brand new tyres.

Anton only wants $3000 ONO but he is open to offers especially if they come with Tequila and Tacos.

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Scott Schulte
August 25, 2014 at 6:24 pm

My friend Anton just got a new job and bought himself a new car. Since I sell websites for a living and have a lot of spare time he asked me to sell his car for him.

Do you remember as a kid when your friend from high school got their first car? You know exactly the one I am talking about. The car:

It was a station wagon
It didn’t run smooth but it ran
It had over 300,000 but you guys all wanted to get it to 500k.

Before you guys took it out on the weekend, his dad made him change the oil, and even showed you both how to change the break pads?

Do you remember that first car?

Taking it down country roads with the windows down and the music high. Living life wild and free, singing with the radio at the top of your lungs. Who doesn’t have one of those stories? Now you can pass those opportunities to your son or daughter.

That first car fun is wrapped up for you with Anton’s car.

The car has 300k
And the windows roll down just fine.
The breaks need a little work but nothing a buddy can’t help you with this weekend.

Listen it’s not great, but…
It’s great for them and their friends.
It will get them back and forth to school
And a weekend of cruising on the strip

The best part is, Anton got a good job and is looking to sell it cheap.

So stop by and give it a try.

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Nathan
August 25, 2014 at 5:58 pm

I just wrote this yesterday to sell my TV:
Title: Why I’m Selling my 32″ Old TV
Body:
Reasons why I’m selling my 32″ TV
1. This thing weighs about 1000lbs. But hey– its sturdy as a boulder.
2. I don’t have cable. So why has this TV just been sitting in my living room for the past 13 months? Probably because of reason #1.
3. I might as well let someone else get some fulfillment from this thing. And free up some open space.
4. I want to sell this thing NOW. If I don’t sell it by the end of today, I’m going to give it away to a friend.

That said, here are the reasons why you should buy it:
1. Remember the first reason why I’m selling it? Well you aren’t going to come home from work one day to find it missing.
2. It works perfectly fine. Crystal clear picture. Perfect if you want to watch some DVD’s or play video games. Or enjoy the Florida Gators crushing their opposition (as I did).
3. Reason #2. It’s not flashy, but it gets the job done. Who cares if its not high def? Wouldn’t you rather see a movie with a great story and great acting over a movie with great special effects? Well this TV is that movie.

What other supplementary items do I have that I’d consider selling too?
1. It’s not cable ready, so there’s a converter box. Ask me about that.
2. A fantastic Antenna. This thing works better than any rabbit ears you might find. Top rated item on Amazon. Ask me about that too.

So– if you are the type who drives a Mercedes around, this probably isn’t your TV. But if you are the type who drives Honda or Toyota, you prefer the functionality over the glitz, you like economy over pizzaz– well then, ask me NOW how you can own this TV! Because I will probably sell it to the first person who inquires.

http://ocala.craigslist.org/ele/4634695875.html

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noosch
August 25, 2014 at 4:18 pm

Black Fella Bush Mechanic Needed

I am staying here in the States with my white fella mate Anton and he has got this car that barely runs and has 300,000 miles, flat tire, NO AC and the brakes don’t work.

He needs a bush mechanic to take it off his hands. Not some pussy Crocodile Dundee whitefella bushie but a genuine blackfella (who can also be white – see where I come from being called a blackfella is a badge of honour, whether you are black or white) who is as good as these blackfellas. Go and have a look here on YouTube
Bush Mechanics – Ep1 – Motorcar Ngutju
Anyway, Anton was shit scared that I would put this ad on Craigslist, but I told him that no problem some good bushie black or white fella would see this and take it off his hands.

Especially when I show him how to paint Rainbow Serpent mural across this pristine auto – watch the vid and call me

king billy coke bottle – look me up on YouTube too

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Tangelia
August 25, 2014 at 4:11 pm

I wrote a craigslist as for selling my elliptical and it was sold with a day.
Fold Away Elliptical is amazeballs. Any Offer! Great Home Workout! – $350
$350 or Best Offer! — Proform 850 Elliptical —

While I was Spring cleaning and getting rid of stuff, I thought, hey, why don’t I post some items on Craigslist.

Most days I’m really super busy. I didn’t want to make another trip to Goodwill and I’m too lazy to organize a yard sale. Posting an ad seem like the perfect solution.

Anywho, This is elliptical is a HEAVY DUTY, Small Footprint BEAST of a machine.
You get resistance and cardio exercise for virtually every muscle.

Normally, it retails for $499 but there’s absolutely no ways we could even bring ourselves to try to sell it for that much. All moving parts are like new and the elliptical glides smoothly. Its a KNEE SAVER as well as a SPACE SAVER!

I bought it new and it has been barely used. Remember, I am lazy. I never even got the chance to hang clothes on it! I have been genetically blessed to maintain a smallish frame and the allure of having a big piece of workout equipment has worn off. l’d say I bought it to impress people and make them think that I am super healthy and committed to working out. Ha! It didn’t work. So I rather get it out of our home and into yours.

In case you’re wondering, what’s included with this elliptical
.
Things that ARE included with this elliptical:
1- oversized pedals
2- 2 sets of handles
3- a fan (cause you know, you will be working up a sweat!)
4- a digital display with button thingys (change up that workout, am I right?)
5- original manual (although already assembled you may want something to read while you power climb)
6- bunny (not included. Wait…what?)

If you include a photo of your pet in your email we’ll knock $50 off the elliptical.
Yes, this is 100% legit and we’d love to sell this elliptical this weekend.
Please don’t offer trades for your P90 X/Insanity dvds or your Rolex, we’d prefer green CASH (not weed, no checks, no credit cards) and NOT bitcoin (whatever the hell that is).

Feel free to email questions and ideally come and buy the elliptical so we can make room for the bunny.

You’ll have to come pick it up because we don’t have a vehicle that will contain this beast.
Cash only please. Serious inquiries.

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Emma Pearce
August 25, 2014 at 2:38 pm

Today I am going to give you a choice. A choice that could change your life forever. Some time ago Anton Seperov was also offered this choice. Little did he know that that choice would take him on a journey like no other journey he had travelled before.

Like you, at the time Anton didn’t even know that he was looking for something. With a natural reluctance to use his indicators and sheer refusal to stop for anything, Anton’s subconscious was looking for road dominance.

Today if you make the right choice, you have an opportunity to be part of a legacy.

The choice that I speak of, was the choice to make the fatal purchase of the ‘Silver Beast’.- a friend, a reliant and an essential partner on the road to success.

It’s been an emotional journey. After travelling 300,000 miles, Anton has learnt a lot and lost a lot, including his breaks. Unfortunately today, the journey must end. Anton is now in a financial position that is enabling him to advance his automobile status. If he hadn’t of chosen to make one fatal purchase, none of this would of been possible.

This passage has been a bumpy one, so much so, tyres have been flattened. It’s been a hot journey, due to the lack of air con, but as a result Anton has built up more resilience than he ever thought possible..Open the windows, feel the fresh air and feel alive.

Today Anton stands tall at the top of his game. A Business Development Sumo on a mission.

Make the choice. Walk Anton’s path. Be successful. Be the man you were born to be.
Purchase the Beast, pump up that tyre and travel another 300,000 miles.
The baton has been past to you, do not drop it.

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Tyrone WIlliams
August 25, 2014 at 1:40 pm

I once had a dream of owning a Lexus, but I had one problem. I was broke. I had to have it so I made a 3 step plan to get it..
1) Find the car
2) Find the money
3) Go get her!!
It sounds simple but I was also determined. So I searched the internet night and day to find one, and then I finally found one that caught my eye (Step 1 Complete). I didn’t much money but i was determined I could gather the money, I applied for loans with 5 different car companies and what do ya know, Capital one emailed me and said I was approved for a blank check for up to $20k(Step 2 Complete). Next I flew to California to get it and drove it 26 hrs all the way back home! ( Step 3 Complete). I love it and women love it!(Nothings better than that)

Now, it does have 300k miles, flat tire, no a/c and the brakes need work but its not about that.. it’s about, If you REALLY want it, you will get it!.. The experience is worth it! Is it to you?..

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Joel Brink
August 25, 2014 at 11:22 am

“Lexus: Flex This from Long Beach to Texas”. Do you know who wrote that lyrical masterpiece??
If you do: high five! If not: look it up; I have a car to sell, I don’t have time for your shenanigans!

Here’s the deal. My buddy Anton has a Lexus for sale that reminds him of his cheating ex-girlfriend. He started dating her right after he got the car (boohoo :/). Anton is being a big baby and doesn’t want to see the car or that cheating &$#%* ever again! He left it up to me to take care of business, so I’m on the scene and ready to wheel and deal, so Anton will stop crying and go out on the town with me!

Some details:

1. Umm… It’s a freaking Lexus…. We all now Lexus rules.. Jut ask Snoop Dogg! (FYI: that’s who wrote the lyric above 🙂
2. It will run like a BEAST for you. It’s already got 300k and it’s begging for more! Sick,sadistic Lexus. Gotta love ya.

3. It’s gotta flat tire and you can’t make me change it! It’s not my car, so please take care of the details like this and save me time. If you do, I’ll give you the sweet Lexus at a rock bottom rate. Deal?

Cool… Well. I just left Anton’s ex’s apartment ( don’t judge! ), so I’m available now and want to get this wrapped up by the end of the day. Hit me up!!

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Jeremy
August 25, 2014 at 10:20 am

MAKE SOME QUICK CASH WITH MY 2001 LEXUS RX300

Let me be straight and to the point with you – I’m extremely busy and don’t have the time to deal with my old car. For the past few years, my old SUV has sat in my condos parking garage, untouched.

Notice the layer of dust and flat tire? That’s why.

Well, I sold my condo and the closing date is fast approaching, so I need it gone ASAP. My lack of time becomes your opportunity to either flip this car for some quick cash, or keep it at an insanely good deal.

It’s a white 2001 Lexus RX300 Sport with tan leather interior. It has 300,000 miles on it but runs great. The AC needs repair, and the tire is flat but will hold air.

Oh, and it needs a wash.

I’ve already called Johns Garage at 123 Broadway, Los Angeles (555-222-3333), about the air conditioning and have been told it probably just needs the freon charged, a routine fix that will run around $100.

If I had the time, I would change the flat tire (it comes with a full spare), take it to Johns Garage to have the AC charged, go fill up the original tire with air and run it through a car wash.

Then, I’d take a few better photos and re-list it for book value. Book value is $5658, from http://www.kbb.com. Or, keep it if you want. Get into a luxury SUV for a fraction of the true value.

I know it’s not worth book value in its current state, and that’s why the first reasonable offer gets it.

Like I originally said, I don’t have a lot of time and I need this gone ASAP. Call me right now at 222-333-4444 with your offer before its gone.

222-333-4444
John

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Zak
August 25, 2014 at 10:23 am

“Oh, and it needs a wash.” nice distraction and minimises the other items importance…
Mention of time and prospect of making $ off the deal is also smart

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Zak
August 25, 2014 at 10:18 am

Selling car to keep Girlfriend – type of Car- Year Model
After years of driving my faithful “50 shades of grey wagon” all over the country (300 000 miles) I finally have to let her go in favour of another beautiful lady who is also taking me for a spin. Oh, the good times: that trip to Mexico ( no aircon is no problem when you can drive with the windows down and a mojito in your hand – got to love Mexico!) and that time we went up – insert famous american mountain range here-, 5 guys with all our camping gear. No problem in a 5 door wagon. There is plenty space to go around even for a hitchhiker. I think we burnt out the breaks on the way down. Oh man. Classic!

My girlfriend is jealous of how much i love this car and last week slashed one of the tyres and threatened to do worse to her till i promised to sell it. The things we do for love. Promise me a good home and life of adventure and she is yours for only – insert price here-.

Contact me (Anton) on – insert number- If Jess answers then for goodness sake tell her it is about *anything* else other than 50 Shades.

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David Wang
August 25, 2014 at 8:45 am

Imagine yourself cruising down the street with your stereo pumping, windows down, and all the fine ladies checking you out in your hot, suped-up Lexus 450 RX. Not only have I used this car to get me around town, but there’s enough room in the backseat to get down when I’ve needed to.

[picture of a random hot chick: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-J5H7SslnFtM/UOx1ZlOlpDI/AAAAAAAAEfE/QSQzgSBr0cM/s1600/40's+hot.jpg ]

This is a picture of the type of ass I used to get with this ride ;). But that was in my heydays, sadly now I’m married and I gotta move on. Now I won’t lie to you, this baby has been with me through good and bad and has taken a beating. She needs the right person to come along and restore her to her days of glory – the AC is busted, has a flat tire, and 300,000 miles. I know what you’re thinking, “WTF?”. But let me tell you something, this thing has so much good luck, I actually don’t want to sell it to you – My wife is forcing me to!!!

So if you’re a chump who’s got no game, please don’t respond. If you’re someone who’s got the skills or money to bring this baby back to her former glory, give me a call – She’s special and deserves someone who’s going to treat her right. She needs someone who can use her special luck to get some ass again.

Psst. I’ll also include a special incantation I used to use before I went out every night! I don’t know if it’s really magic or not, but hey, it worked!

That’s what this baby got

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Kyle Reed
August 25, 2014 at 8:07 am

I know what brought you here. You’re looking for something to up your game. A vehicle that will take you to the next level with the ladies. Well, you have clicked on the right ad, because this is the car that dreams are made of.

This is Anton’s car. Now this isn’t just any car, this is the car of a man that knows what he is doing. And just as every man graduates to the next phase of life and gets a new ride, you are ready to graduate to the phase that only experienced pro’s live at.

This vehicle is not for anyone. It is not for soccer moms, khaki wearing golfers, or coffee sipping ladies.
This vehicle is for YOU. The guy that knows what he wants and needs something to take him there. This is the car that you have been looking for.

How do I know? Because only guys like you “get it” and know what they are looking for. A vehicle with character, experience, and stories. And oh let me tell you, this vehicle has stories, and if she could talk you would pay double what it’s worth.

Let me give you a run down of her “experience”:
-It’s a Lexus (need I say anymore)
-300,000 miles (been broken in for you)
-Luggage rack (shows the ladies that you have an adventurous side)
-Sunroof (for all the times you will be looking at the stars and letting the breeze blow through you and your ladies hair)
-Tire needs changed (which means you wont have to worry about a flat tire on the highway, that’s already happened)
-AC doesn’t work (but that doesn’t matter because you will always be cruising with the windows down so you can holler at some shorties)
-Brakes are a bit spotty (but who needs breaks, they just slow you down and stop you from getting to where you want).

I am only interested in serious inquiries who are ready to take the next step.
Call me know so we can get you on the road to success.

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Zak
August 25, 2014 at 10:20 am

“but who needs breaks, they just slow you down and stop you from getting to where you want”…..CLASSIC!

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Nando
August 25, 2014 at 8:02 am

Us:
We need this car removed from the AppSumo offices, stat. Our guy Anton has somehow managed to take this fine piece of Japanese engineering and ruin it. Quite frankly, it looks like the 300k miles he put on it he did by driving 79 times to Burning Man and back. All joking aside, this is a fine car. Needs a little love, but it is a great car for someone who can’t afford a new Lexus and appreciates a good deal. Anton has been given 24hrs to get it out of our garage, so he’s ready to do business. Which brings us to:

You:
You can spot a North Face bag within the luggage mess in the Goodwill bin. For that matter, you know which Goodwills get the good stuff. You can spot the Wallace & Barnes jean from outside the Saver’s window. You get no REI dividend ’cause you only buy at the member’s only garage sale. You think Craigslist IS a furniture store. Deals get to you by text and inbox. A little dirt, flat tire, and broken AC is not going to get between you and a luxurious SUV.

Being as it looks like we have a deal, drop us a line here to arrange for your tow truck to come pick this thing up as soon as possible. Cash only, mmkay?

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Paula
August 25, 2014 at 7:58 am

4-door wagon in stylin’ gray, recent graduate of Not-New-Anymore High is looking for an excuse to hit the road with you, find his core meaning, shed stereotypes that wagons only carry groceries and grandma.

The windows work; the AC does not. You pick it up with the fluids topped, the seats vacuumed; heck, we’ll even glossify the dash if you stop complaining that there’s a donut on the passenger front side.

What’s the cost of a tire—you’re already seeing the sun on the horizon, big sky country, your own passage to all that is in a car that’s run 300K with no complaints.

Drive, baby, drive; be complete, Man, in your Vision Quest, and when you hit the endless, open road know that Not-New-Anymore’s brakes can’t stop you.

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