How to Spot a Stanford student

April 13, 2007 - Get free updates of new posts here

Disclaimer: I went to Berkeley, was not rejected from Stanford (did not apply) and don’t have a problem with them at all. I actually like the place.

It is Friday which is normally a free business idea but I thought I may start off a new series of Friday Rants.

Have you ever been to a conference, event or seminar? (Insert the word Yes here)

Do you know how you can tell who is from Stanford?

Post your thought and whoever is closest to my idea will get a Stanford drawing snail mailed from me.

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30 responses to “How to Spot a Stanford student

  1. sri Reply

    People from Stanford have visible boogers in their nose all the time.

    Oh yeah one more thing. if someone graduates from stanford, they make sure you are aware of it.

  2. Joel Mueller Reply

    If they’re in the MBA program at Stanford, they’ll be clean cut with their collared shirts rolled 3/4 length. And they roll in small crowds. And you might see them getting beat up by me. 🙂 j/k

  3. sri Reply

    I have a few more:

    1) The women dont shave their armpits.
    2) They smell their own farts and enjoy it.
    3) They all drive Prius’s.
    4) They all pretend to be somehow saving the world.
    5) There is a Butters in every group.
    6) There is a Cartman in every group.
    7) They are all involved in some kind of start-up.
    8) They worship the professors.
    9) They support Ralph Nader.
    10) They love foreign movies and pretend to enjoy it.

  4. matt snider Reply

    @sri, actually Tray Parker taped the sound effect for South Park when he accidentally walked into a Stanford Conference on, “Why is Stanford So Great, Give Us Your Money”, whilst looking for the bathroom.

    Needless to say, there was a bathroom incident, and that day will forever be known as the “Day of the Golden Shower”.

  5. sri Reply

    11) They pretend to like heavy metal but in reality they cry themselves to sleep every night by listening to Tommy Page’s “A Shoulder to Cry On”

    Sorry Noah, its my Friday venting time as well.

  6. Chris Bennett Reply

    For one, I’ve noticed that anecdotal information is often Stanford-centric, for example, “well we usually do […] here at Stanford”, while implying that it is the One True Way.

    Also, I sense a general aura of megalomania from the population on the whole when I’m on that campus, and hell, even around Palo Alto. I think I would be used to that hailing from Orange County, though I think people come off that way in OC because they think money makes them better, while at Stanford perhaps they think that “just being enrolled at Stanford” makes them better.

  7. joe Reply

    They have a 60-second pitch ready describing their multiple businesses that they started at the age of 20. They are now age 21, fail to mention that those “startups” aren’t around anymore, and say they mentor and advise “young entrepreneurs”

    🙂 Go Bears!

  8. Noah Kagan Reply

    Sri,

    You scare me. I love you no matter what because you are hilarious.

    Joe,

    They have some pretty impressive people at Berkeley. They did not get the ghetto urban upbringing we did.

  9. Damon Billian Reply

    The folks look like they stepped out of a commercial for Dockers (just kidding for my Stanford friends).

    Go Bears!

    Note: I didn’t attend either college. I just have a soft spot in my heart because of many wild parties I attended at Cal.

  10. Noah Kagan Reply

    None of you were close.

    The way you can tell a Stanford person is at your event is that they say statements and NOT questions. I FUCKING can’t tolerate that. Yes, this is a generalization and not true for all of Stanford. No, seriously the students are like “blah blah blah” and I am thinking to myself was there a point in what you said. Cause I didn’t see your name on the agenda so sit down, ask relevant questions or keep your mouth shut.

  11. Robert Franklin Reply

    Noah,

    Can’t seem to sleep, too much on the brain with the event two weeks away.

    Was going to shoot you an e-mail but then thought what’s the point of that, I should just say it in your blog. IMHO this topic lowers the standard of your excellent blog. It’s not the comments, it is the whole attitude of the post, you are at such a higher level.

    Maybe I am missing the point or the humor but I just wanted share my thoughts because I truly have learned so much from reading your blog and getting to know you over the last six months. Perhaps I am just sleeped deprived 🙂

  12. Noah Kagan Reply

    Robert,

    Good point. I changed the title to reflect that. At the same time I am trying to write interesting things which may not always sit well with everyone.

    Xavier,

    Thanks for the morning smile.

  13. Smita Reply

    goddamn…. i just chose stanford over cal after a LONG time debating and i didnt think i was happy with my decision…. soi was perusing online in hopes of discovering that stanford students werent that bad, but apparently all my fears of dockers-wearing/fart-smelling douchebags handing me their business cards reading
    “_______, B.A., STANFORD UNIVERSITY (hire me?)”
    are going to be there.
    *sigh*
    maybe i can transfer to cal….