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I never thought dating make sense. Dating is probably one of the most bizarre human behaviors. I understand that people are pretty much social animals and we crave for companionships. Just being around other people doesn’t seem to be enough, we seem to need to fall in love, be in love and share love.
With internet dating sites popping everywhere and many books being written about dating and relationships are we in danger of playing the “rules” when it comes to dating and forgotten all about “communication” and “commitment”?
How do people like you and I-social animals that tend to seek out one another’s company and the crave to connect to with other people get into this whole “speed dating” and “online screening dating?”
This is like a frustrating tango dance where both parties are not coordinating and communicating their steps. Are we living in an information technology age where we have instant messages, instant coffee, instant rice, drive-thru fast food, and tivo, that we need to have instant love and gratification as well? How long ago that we came up with the idea that we don’t have time to spend on love? It is not unusual that we do not take the time to get to know one another anymore.
Dating is money making business these days. Browse any bookstores and you can see the various books written that talks about relationships. I am not a big fan of these books actually. Most of them are all about mind games and why “playing hard to get” is essential in capturing “the target”. If you want to speak to someone, go ahead and pick up the phone and call them instead of waiting by the phone just to say “I’ m busy” when they call. If someone gets intimidated by a few calls then screw it!
I do not believe in “soul mates” rather relationships are all about timing. If you meet someone and you have an emotional connection with them, and they are at the same wavelength with you emotionally and mentally, then, these people move on into a “relationship”. If someone goes out on a date and compares the date to his or her ex, than we are not giving the other person a chance to get to know you and you getting to know the other person. Trust me, the right one won’t be scared away by your actions.
Heck, I am not a relationship guru, I have my fair share or heartbreaks (just like Noah and all of you) , that is why I want people to de-emphasize the word dating and start emphasizing on building relationships and building friendships.
If we communicate what our intentions are and we build relationships based on trust and friendship, then perhaps we can stumble into “a relationship.”
Most men and women are bitter and jaded about serious relationships and claimed that they had been screwed over is the precise point on why we should really be friends with the person before we date them.
I don’t put myself out there to meet people. I know everyone keeps telling you and me, but you aren’t going to meet anyone by just staying home! Honey, we meet people everywhere. We don’t need to go speed dating, or to a bar. I meet people at the coffee shops, grocery stores, on the Muni, at my work, at my gym, and tons and tons of places.
These “weak” relationships are actually building blocks on what later might be a “strong” relationship.
I don’t know how to change the system to replace this instant dating crap we are all used to seeing in reality shows but I approach dating as “so tell me something about you” instead of “what can you do for me” or “can I fuck you tonight.”