Category: Relationship
Oh, What do You Do? Challenge
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At a few parties this weekend I got asked “What do you do?”
I hate this question. I hate it more when you ask this before you even ask my name. I think we love to judge people and “value” them right away. I like getting to know people!
Challenge: Hold out on the “What do You Do?” question until the other person asks you. If the other person asks before you, you win. Shout out “I Win.”
What are some questions you can ask instead?
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Noah Kagan wrote Oh, What do You Do? Challenge on January 22nd, 2007 and there are 28 comments. There will be one more after you add yours, though. Read more posts by Noah Kagan.
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28 Responses to “Oh, What do You Do? Challenge”
January 22nd, 2007
1:47 pm
So, do you have kids?
Are you married?
Why are you picking your nose in public?
January 22nd, 2007
1:54 pm
I think a lot of starter questions have the potential to be motivated by a how-much-of-my-time-is-this-person-worth judgement, perhaps “what do you do?” is just the leader. After all, learning about what someone does for a living is a vital part in getting to know that person!
How about:
- Where are you from?
- So who do you know here?
- So how do you like living in city-name?
- Innie or outie?
- What do you think about current-news-event/topic-of-party?
- So how did you hear about this party/event?
January 22nd, 2007
2:14 pm
Wanna shag?
Can I bum a fag?
This would strike some interesting conversations.
January 22nd, 2007
2:15 pm
It’s tough to replace a question like that because it drags things down to the lowest common denom.
“What did you want to be when you were a kid?” - a mite pretentious but, well-executed, it adds a sense of intimacy and gets the person thinking…
January 22nd, 2007
2:36 pm
I have a tendency to throw it in heavy, “What’s your passion?” Doesn’t matter if I’m at a bar or UX meeting, it always seems to make people pause and think in a good way.
January 22nd, 2007
3:20 pm
As conversation starters, I’m much more interested in where people are from and where they live than anything else, but that’s just me being a native New Yorker, and always getting a major kick out of what people think of the city and how much they’ve held onto their old town post-assimilation.
January 22nd, 2007
3:38 pm
“Tell me about yourself.” I think this invites the person to share what they want to share.
January 22nd, 2007
3:43 pm
“Who do you think you are?”
brings out alot
the insecure ones will hedge
bold ones will brag
in between muddle through
What you think you are is what you are.
January 22nd, 2007
4:20 pm
“What DON’T you do?”
January 22nd, 2007
5:30 pm
Do you smell that?
January 22nd, 2007
7:29 pm
“Hey, I’ll bet you surf the net, right?”
“what is your fav site these days?”
“I’m always looking for new content.”
When I’m asked of course I always start with
Mr. Dorks site, right here.
This line has worked for every new person I’ve met in a social setting,
generally from there it leads to family, marital status, living place, and
what it is that puts food and roof over ones head.
I usually have a new site to visit to boot!
well, there was this really good looking drop dead beaut of a blonde with the best killer body I’ve ever seen in my life, I mean legs up to her ears, that asked
“site?” “net?”
My husband took over from there.
January 22nd, 2007
8:26 pm
How about:
Got a job? (I personally have nightmares about having a job… really- I would be a lousy employee.)
Or
maybe just- “What keeps you busy.” similar to “What are you up to these days.”
But really- before they know ask your name? WHOWA
January 22nd, 2007
9:23 pm
are you funded?
do you know mike arrington?
what does web 2.0 mean?
do you think google will buy my company?
how much do you think entrepreneur X is worth?
how many people read your company blog?
dont you think valleywag’s gossip on X Blogger is so true and that X Blogger is an asshole?
when is your company going to do 100 million in revenue?
are you SURE you don’t know mike arrington?
oh wait… that was the ANTIquestion list.
-JLB
January 22nd, 2007
9:31 pm
I usually start with talking about me.
January 22nd, 2007
9:50 pm
See: http://ben.casnocha.com/2006/02/who_are_you_ins.html
January 22nd, 2007
10:43 pm
Why are you here?
January 22nd, 2007
11:23 pm
I have had amazing results with the simple “What brings you here today/tonight?”
Wendy, Have to say so far I like your line the best!
January 23rd, 2007
1:06 am
“What brought you here?”
“Any particular speaker you are here to see?”
Next time I’m gonna try, “Have you checked out OKdork.com, it’s a pretty cool blog?”
btw, Wendyness and Susan, thanks for the questions, I think they are great conversation starters
January 23rd, 2007
3:46 am
I’m with Wendyness on this and my opener is: what do you do to make this world a better place?
We then all sit around, light some josticks and meditate
DK
January 23rd, 2007
1:52 pm
No no no no no.I’m sick of hearing people talk about their companies.I am a COO of this VP of that. So boring, try telling me that and i will excuse myself. That conversation is usually better after you get to know someone well into the night.
I always ask random questions and people will look at me funny. There is this one time i was talking to a guy at a party about how fascinated I am with horror movies and how much i like to blood wrestle. And he goes “what’s your name again?”
And i’ll give u a tip, for the best Question to ask , are u ready *drumroll please*
……What is your favourite drink?………..
Ya that always gets the ball rolling, but i really like meeting people and i dont care what they do, i know a lot of homeless ppl down market street in sf, if u want i can introduce you to them.
January 23rd, 2007
4:26 pm
Bernadette, that’s another great opener
I especially like the gathering that has an open bar, in which I can ask people, “What are you drinking?” or “How’s your drink?”, etc… As for me, Bud Light, Heiny, and Vodka with Coke are some of my favorites
What abou you, Noah, what’s your favorite drink?
January 24th, 2007
12:24 am
I have a problem where I never know any of the drinks at the bar so I always order the same things.
Black Velvet
Long Island Ice Tea
Any good suggestions for me?
January 24th, 2007
4:47 am
Long Island Ice Tea, Mmmm that’s good stuff, a bit too strong for me…
I’d thought that you’re a Corona kinda guy–Burrito’s best friend is Corona (w/lime of course!)
January 28th, 2007
6:25 pm
Have you read “Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking” by Malcolm Gladwell?
I’m read it now and it’s uncanny how quickly you realize the “flash judgments” you make of people without even realizing you’re doing it. How many candidates have you walked in to interview for your company and consciously or subconsciously made a decision within the first 3 seconds? I know it’s hard to admit or hard to realize but we all do it.
The point is, even before asking “what do you do” (which I hate too by the way) we have already made a judgment and likely a decision that is very hard to sway.
I guess when you really get to the bottom of it all - what’s the point of even asking?
January 29th, 2007
7:23 pm
I wish people would ask me that more often. When you live as an expat in an asian country, the first question is “ni shi na guo ren?” (where are you from), the next : “you speak so well, how long have you been here?”, and only then do they get a message that I’m here for business and ask “what do you do?”
p.s. Noah, I see your blog promotion is going forward, any advise for a business blog?
February 2nd, 2007
9:43 pm
I can ditto china market blog’s sentiments living in Japan. The exact same questions in the exact same order.
February 3rd, 2007
2:56 pm
It could be worse. You could be asked which school/college you went to
But then, when you go to a bloggers meet … the question is … “what is your blog?”. I am sure most bloggers answer this one.
So … we are happier to talk and be open about the things that we love but we are more guarded about the things that we are paid to do! Goes to show what we consider is important.
August 11th, 2007
5:02 am
Noah, you are soooo on target with this one. I wish I’d seen some of your suggestions before my book, “How to Talk to Anyone” went to press. I do a whole chapter on that insensitive question! I wish more people had your insight.
Many thanks,
Leil
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