Category: Humor

Top 9 Companies to Say You Work At…

I was thinking which companies in America would sound the coolest to say at a bar. “Hey baby I work for…”

bar

  1. YouTube
  2. Google
  3. Facebook
  4. MySpace
  5. Apple
  6. Playboy
  7. BMW or Mercedes car designers
  8. In-n-Out Corporate
  9. MTV

Anything else?

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23 Responses to “Top 9 Companies to Say You Work At…”

  • Ben
    November 2nd, 2006
    3:22 pm

    Hi..I’m _________________ the President of eBay International.

  • Roger von Oech
    November 2nd, 2006
    3:30 pm

    Really cool is:

    “Hey baby, I work at my own philanthropic foundation.”

  • Ben Bleikamp
    November 2nd, 2006
    4:08 pm

    Did you get more chicks while working at Facebook? ;)

  • Shivani
    November 2nd, 2006
    4:33 pm

    ummm…if you’re really trying to be cool at a bar, how about not talking about work? :)

  • Sri
    November 2nd, 2006
    5:00 pm

    Hi baby….I got be up early tomorrow…Oh I didnt tell you? I work for NASA.
    Hi baby….I got be up early tomorrow…Oh I didnt tell you? I work for Wall Street.
    Hi baby….I got be up early tomorrow…Oh I didnt tell you? I work for the CIA.
    Hi baby….I got be up early tomorrow…Oh I didnt tell you? I work for the FBI.
    Hi baby….I got be up early tomorrow…Oh I didnt tell you? I work for KGB.
    Hi baby….I got be up early tomorrow…Oh I didnt tell you? I work for Katie Holmes.
    Hi baby….I got be up early tomorrow…Oh I didnt tell you? I work for OkDork.com.
    Hi baby….I got be up early tomorrow…Oh I didnt tell you? I work for Columbia Pictures.

  • waxtadpole
    November 2nd, 2006
    5:46 pm

    I am a NINJA!

  • Jon Speer
    November 2nd, 2006
    6:08 pm

    Hi. I help medical device companies develop life-saving technologies. I work for Creo Qualiy, LLC.

  • Dimitry
    November 2nd, 2006
    7:12 pm

    Yahoo (cmon we’re talking about pretty, non-geeky girls) and it works
    CIA would be amazing, dream job, but not a citizen.
    Wall Street as mentioned above. Pure sex.

    Girls also seem to fall for doctors heh. Also if you run ur own business, youre in business
    Dimitry

  • Dimitry
    November 2nd, 2006
    7:13 pm

    Oh and In-n-Out burger joint is unknown on the east coast, so you wouldn’t get far haha

  • Paul McEnany
    November 2nd, 2006
    8:15 pm

    Um, yeah, My name is Paul, I work for Ford. Wanna fuck?

    Or, I work for Exxon Mobil…you like back massages?

    I’ll let you know how it works out…

  • Sri
    November 2nd, 2006
    8:54 pm

    hey…hows it going…me…well i work at a gas station….c’ome over some time, i will hook you up with free cigarette’s…….wanna fuck?

  • Berry
    November 2nd, 2006
    11:17 pm

    How about:
    “I got the money thing covered. I don’t have to work.”

    Also, be real mean. Girls (seem to) like that.

  • dave mcclure
    November 3rd, 2006
    12:24 am

    i think you got the top 5 right… other contenders for spots 6-15:

    - The Daily Show / Comedy Central
    - ESPN
    - Yahoo
    - SixApart
    - SecondLife / SciFi Channel / Adult Swim (ok, only for geeks)
    - Wall Street Journal / NY Times / Washington Post / NewsCorp (media / news)
    - Goldman Sachs (for money & business types)

    of the above, let’s say Daily Show & ESPN make the top 10.

  • doug
    November 3rd, 2006
    11:54 am

    some jobs that definitely won’t get you into anyone’s pants:

    1. i work for noah. (kidding)
    2. work? what’s that.
    3. anything that has the words “graveyard shift”.
    4. anything that has the word “postal” in it.
    5. intern. need i say more?
    6. coal miner.
    7. sperm donor.
    8. professional stud.
    9. dungeon master, level III.

  • Nii A.
    November 3rd, 2006
    12:44 pm

    eBay =(.

  • Noah Kagan
    November 3rd, 2006
    1:09 pm

    Doug shouldn’t you be running a business and stop wasting time writing cool things on okdork:) Dungeon master, hahaha!

    Nii, eBay was definitely cool about 5 years ago.

    Dave, Daily Show would be awesome. I have a friend who works at the Tonight Show which I consider bad ass.

    Paul, Hug.

    Dmitiry, I think for the East Coast I would say White Castle.

    Sri, Maybe saying you work at Cigarettes unlimited would be really funny.

    Honestly guys/girls I had no idea my readers/writers were this funny. I am doing a 30% smirk while writing this. Thanks:p

  • Bernadette
    November 3rd, 2006
    6:16 pm

    Ok guys the next outing noah organizes and you see some girls, I dare you to come up to us and say the above and see what reaction you will get.

    Oh what about for girls to impress the guys?

    I am a chiropractor, would you like a boner?

  • Ben Schippers
    November 5th, 2006
    11:22 am

    IntelliGrad would be part of the top 10 companies to work for.

  • Cool Guy
    November 8th, 2006
    12:57 am

    No offense guys but these are all boring. If you really want to raise eyebrows, especially with the ladies, it’s best to tell them that you run a diversified holdings firm involved in numerous ventures such as the import-export of various “products” and that you split your time overseas in places like South America, the Mideast, Russia/Eastern Europe and Central Asia. There are people with these “companies” that make more in a few years than the founders of even very succesful tech firms will make in their entire lifetimes. Think Bill Gates is the richest man in the world? Think again.

  • Ray Dotson
    November 9th, 2006
    4:09 am

    How about telling them that you CAN’T tell them, or is this too cliched?

  • JR
    November 9th, 2006
    11:43 am

    funny how your first 5 companies were web/tech companies. lol i see where your head is lol.

    What sounds “cool” in a bar — I’d go with…
    -Any major entertainment/music/movie label – Def Jam, Sony, WB, George Lucas, Pixar, Bad Boy- make something up as far as a position.
    -You left out Microsoft ;-)
    -Magazine if cool enough… People, Vibe, Money, National Enq., Entertainment Weekly
    -Goldman Sachs/Merril Lynch something on Wall Street
    -Call me Dr./Lawyer.

    Or I’d just go with old faithful – u know it – “I’m RICH B*TCH!”

  • Noah Kagan
    November 9th, 2006
    11:45 am

    Good call JR. One of the lines I use lately is retired=)

  • rami
    November 29th, 2006
    4:23 pm

    @Dimitry: For east coast, don’t use In-n-out burger… use Five Guys. Although, many east coasters fo envy our In-n-out!

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