Comments on: The Guide to Avoiding Small Talk http://okdork.com/2006/07/06/the-guide-to-avoiding-small-talk-2/ A blog about marketing, online communities and other business musings. Come join the fun! Wed, 09 Nov 2011 02:14:19 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Patric http://okdork.com/2006/07/06/the-guide-to-avoiding-small-talk-2/comment-page-1/#comment-249446 Patric Sun, 27 Jan 2008 18:13:28 +0000 http://okdork.com/2006/07/06/the-guide-to-avoiding-small-talk-2/#comment-249446 How is that wit working for you Noah – is it getting you where you want to go in life? Your article is full of glibness and superficial charm. It also seems to be manipulative and conning - you never recognize the rights of others and see your self-serving behaviour as permissible. Although the conversation appears to be charming, yet it is covertly hostile and domineering, seeing people as merely an instrument to be used. Your comment about “Friends of Friends� demonstrates your need dominate and humiliate people. It appears you have a grandiose sense of self & you feel entitled to certain things as "your right." Your comments on “Conversation Starters� belies your pretence for pathological lying. You certainly have no problem lying coolly and easily and I’m sure it is almost impossible for you to be truthful on a consistent basis. I guess the reason you created this website was that you’re caught up in a complex belief about your own powers and abilities. You’re very convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests, although they don’t really work – do they? You demonstrate a lack of remorse, shame or guilt when you have these “conversations� with “boring� people instead showing a deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, at your core. You do not see others around you as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, you have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. ~The end always justifies the means as they let nothing stand in their way~ Your guides teach nothing more than shallow emotions. When you show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. I’m sure you are outraged by insignificant matters, yet your articles show you remain unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since you are not genuine, neither are your promises as you have an incapacity for love. The fact that you need to go out and have these conversations shows your need for stimulation and living on the edge. Can I ask you a question - do you consider verbal outbursts physical punishments as normal. Noah, do you find you have tendencies for promiscuity and gambling. Your callousness and lack of empathy shows you are unable to empathize with the pain of other people, instead having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them. Your articles illustrate your poor behavioural controls, impulsive nature, rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval to produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Noah - you are all-powerful, all-knowing & entitled to every wish and your talent? - no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for your impact on others. Were you prone to early behaviour problems & juvenile delinquency with a history of behavioural and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Did you have problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviours such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc. which is what prompted you to writing these “guides�? Frankly I find these articles irresponsibility & unreliable and demonstrate no concern about wrecking others' lives and dreams. These conversation “guides� |are oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. I‘m sure you do not accept blame yourself, but blame others, for acts they’ve obviously committed – like not being able to hold an interesting conversation. All in all your conversations tend to move around a lot, makes all encompassing promises for the future, while the articles themselves show poor work ethic and demonstrate your ability to exploit others effectively. Have any other stories for us Noah? How is that wit working for you Noah – is it getting you where you want to go in life?
Your article is full of glibness and superficial charm. It also seems to be manipulative and conning – you never recognize the rights of others and see your self-serving behaviour as permissible. Although the conversation appears to be charming, yet it is covertly hostile and domineering, seeing people as merely an instrument to be used. Your comment about “Friends of Friendsâ€? demonstrates your need dominate and humiliate people. It appears you have a grandiose sense of self & you feel entitled to certain things as “your right.” Your comments on “Conversation Startersâ€? belies your pretence for pathological lying. You certainly have no problem lying coolly and easily and I’m sure it is almost impossible for you to be truthful on a consistent basis. I guess the reason you created this website was that you’re caught up in a complex belief about your own powers and abilities. You’re very convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests, although they don’t really work – do they? You demonstrate a lack of remorse, shame or guilt when you have these “conversationsâ€? with “boringâ€? people instead showing a deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, at your core. You do not see others around you as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, you have victims and accomplices who end up as victims.
~The end always justifies the means as they let nothing stand in their way~
Your guides teach nothing more than shallow emotions. When you show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. I’m sure you are outraged by insignificant matters, yet your articles show you remain unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since you are not genuine, neither are your promises as you have an incapacity for love. The fact that you need to go out and have these conversations shows your need for stimulation and
living on the edge. Can I ask you a question – do you consider verbal outbursts physical punishments as normal. Noah, do you find you have tendencies for promiscuity and gambling. Your callousness and lack of empathy shows you are unable to empathize with the pain of other people, instead having only contempt for others’ feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them. Your articles illustrate your poor behavioural controls, impulsive nature, rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval to produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Noah – you are all-powerful, all-knowing & entitled to every wish and your talent? – no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for your impact on others.
Were you prone to early behaviour problems & juvenile delinquency with a history of behavioural and academic difficulties, yet “gets by” by conning others. Did you have problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviours such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc. which is what prompted you to writing these “guidesâ€??
Frankly I find these articles irresponsibility & unreliable and demonstrate no concern about wrecking others’ lives and dreams. These conversation “guidesâ€? |are oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. I‘m sure you do not accept blame yourself, but blame others, for acts they’ve obviously committed – like not being able to hold an interesting conversation. All in all your conversations tend to move around a lot, makes all encompassing promises for the future, while the articles themselves show poor work ethic and demonstrate your ability to exploit others effectively. Have any other stories for us Noah?

]]> By: Larr http://okdork.com/2006/07/06/the-guide-to-avoiding-small-talk-2/comment-page-1/#comment-242382 Larr Sun, 20 Jan 2008 12:00:14 +0000 http://okdork.com/2006/07/06/the-guide-to-avoiding-small-talk-2/#comment-242382 Good article, though i particularly don't like #9 Good article, though i particularly don’t like #9

]]> By: Fair Proxy Web » The Guide to Avoiding Small Talk http://okdork.com/2006/07/06/the-guide-to-avoiding-small-talk-2/comment-page-1/#comment-161093 Fair Proxy Web » The Guide to Avoiding Small Talk Sun, 14 Oct 2007 14:09:33 +0000 http://okdork.com/2006/07/06/the-guide-to-avoiding-small-talk-2/#comment-161093 [...] you those crappy questions when you meet new people. Here are the essential tips to avoid them.read more | digg story [?] Share [...] [...] you those crappy questions when you meet new people. Here are the essential tips to avoid them.read more | digg story [?] Share [...]

]]> By: Blog Traffic Week #1: Getting on Top of Digg, Reddit or Del.icio.us is EVIL at Okdork.com http://okdork.com/2006/07/06/the-guide-to-avoiding-small-talk-2/comment-page-1/#comment-6055 Blog Traffic Week #1: Getting on Top of Digg, Reddit or Del.icio.us is EVIL at Okdork.com Mon, 31 Jul 2006 14:48:07 +0000 http://okdork.com/2006/07/06/the-guide-to-avoiding-small-talk-2/#comment-6055 [...] And so forth…What most of these people don’t mention is a week later. Their traffic is back to normal and they are desperate like a crack head for another high. I have had this a few times with my Michael Arrington of Techcrunch is a Millionaire and more recently The Guide to Avoiding Small Talk. These posts each generated over 20,000 of hits in 1 day which was a great feeling. Do you know how many of those people came back the week after? Maybe 1% of them. [...] [...] And so forth…What most of these people don’t mention is a week later. Their traffic is back to normal and they are desperate like a crack head for another high. I have had this a few times with my Michael Arrington of Techcrunch is a Millionaire and more recently The Guide to Avoiding Small Talk. These posts each generated over 20,000 of hits in 1 day which was a great feeling. Do you know how many of those people came back the week after? Maybe 1% of them. [...]

]]> By: Business Opportunities Links | links for 2006-07-14 http://okdork.com/2006/07/06/the-guide-to-avoiding-small-talk-2/comment-page-1/#comment-5539 Business Opportunities Links | links for 2006-07-14 Fri, 14 Jul 2006 14:18:11 +0000 http://okdork.com/2006/07/06/the-guide-to-avoiding-small-talk-2/#comment-5539 [...] The Guide to Avoiding Small Talk at Okdork.com (tags: articles blog books business education howto ideas networking productivity reference sales work bizopblog) [...] [...] The Guide to Avoiding Small Talk at Okdork.com (tags: articles blog books business education howto ideas networking productivity reference sales work bizopblog) [...]

]]> By: Jeff Larche http://okdork.com/2006/07/06/the-guide-to-avoiding-small-talk-2/comment-page-1/#comment-5531 Jeff Larche Thu, 13 Jul 2006 17:46:03 +0000 http://okdork.com/2006/07/06/the-guide-to-avoiding-small-talk-2/#comment-5531 This is an excellent list, discussing an important issue. Something that struck me as particularly interesting is that you recommended "How To Win Friends and Influence People." I was lucky enough to have read this book when I was 13 and painfully shy. This book (along with a passion for doing magic tricks of all things!) changed my life. How encouraging to see that it's still helping people, so many years later. I'm enjoying your blog. Thanks for sharing. This is an excellent list, discussing an important issue. Something that struck me as particularly interesting is that you recommended “How To Win Friends and Influence People.” I was lucky enough to have read this book when I was 13 and painfully shy. This book (along with a passion for doing magic tricks of all things!) changed my life. How encouraging to see that it’s still helping people, so many years later.

I’m enjoying your blog. Thanks for sharing.

]]> By: Stenstropedia » 5 ting der ikke har noget med hinanden at gøre http://okdork.com/2006/07/06/the-guide-to-avoiding-small-talk-2/comment-page-1/#comment-5512 Stenstropedia » 5 ting der ikke har noget med hinanden at gøre Wed, 12 Jul 2006 19:22:34 +0000 http://okdork.com/2006/07/06/the-guide-to-avoiding-small-talk-2/#comment-5512 [...] Hvem har ikke stÃ¥et og manglet et par tips og tricks til at holde en meningsfuld samtale gÃ¥ende ved en festlig sammenkomst? Okdork.com byder pÃ¥ en 10-punkts Guide to Avoiding Small Talk. Mest opsigtsvækkende er nok punkt 9: Brug 10-15 minutter pÃ¥ at gøre grin med en fælles bekendt. Sikkert er en fin fidus, hvis man er ude pÃ¥ at minimere sin omgangskreds. [...] [...] Hvem har ikke stÃ¥et og manglet et par tips og tricks til at holde en meningsfuld samtale gÃ¥ende ved en festlig sammenkomst? Okdork.com byder pÃ¥ en 10-punkts Guide to Avoiding Small Talk. Mest opsigtsvækkende er nok punkt 9: Brug 10-15 minutter pÃ¥ at gøre grin med en fælles bekendt. Sikkert er en fin fidus, hvis man er ude pÃ¥ at minimere sin omgangskreds. [...]

]]> By: noah http://okdork.com/2006/07/06/the-guide-to-avoiding-small-talk-2/comment-page-1/#comment-5485 noah Tue, 11 Jul 2006 08:04:39 +0000 http://okdork.com/2006/07/06/the-guide-to-avoiding-small-talk-2/#comment-5485 jeanne, thank you very much for your honest comment. sometimes i really think i missed the essential days in class when they discussed their vs. there and than vs. then. i have always had grammar issues which are highlighted more as more people read my material. i was even talked about in the berkeley newspaper for having poor grammar skills. for every post on this site i try to spell check, re-read a few times and have another friend go over them. i read a lot of books and my writing is a work in progress. if you are interested in a editing position on okdork.com i will hire you:) i am glad you are sharing my thoughts with your daughter. my main goal with this site is to pose interesting information/questions and get people thinking/talking. i don't want my always improving writing skills to hinder you from reading the posts. i will try to pay more attention. sincerely, noah jeanne,

thank you very much for your honest comment. sometimes i really think i missed the essential days in class when they discussed their vs. there and than vs. then. i have always had grammar issues which are highlighted more as more people read my material. i was even talked about in the berkeley newspaper for having poor grammar skills. for every post on this site i try to spell check, re-read a few times and have another friend go over them. i read a lot of books and my writing is a work in progress. if you are interested in a editing position on okdork.com i will hire you:)

i am glad you are sharing my thoughts with your daughter. my main goal with this site is to pose interesting information/questions and get people thinking/talking. i don’t want my always improving writing skills to hinder you from reading the posts. i will try to pay more attention.

sincerely,
noah

]]> By: jeanne http://okdork.com/2006/07/06/the-guide-to-avoiding-small-talk-2/comment-page-1/#comment-5480 jeanne Tue, 11 Jul 2006 04:40:42 +0000 http://okdork.com/2006/07/06/the-guide-to-avoiding-small-talk-2/#comment-5480 I thought so much of what you wrote was right on the money. I plan to share your thoughts with my 15 year old daughter. People need to know how to have a conversation and not just talk about themselves. I do have a bone to pick though. Here you are, a writer - with a recent compliment even - and, I assume, a college degree, yet you have grammar issues. Like so many other writers of a certain age (although I have no earthly idea how old you are) you use the word myself when you should use the word I or me. For example, you wrote "I know you may not be funny or try to deliver hilarious lines like myself." Like MYSELF do???? Also you wrote, "Regardless, being funny helps and if you have no skills like myself go research jokes online." There's that word myself again. Weren't you taught correct grammar in your school or by your parents? I am sure I sound like some bitchy old hag, but truth is I am only 43...not that old. I am raising three children. I want them to have the ability to express themselves intelligently. How hard is it to use I instead of myself? How hard is it to put yourself last when listing a group of people which includes yourself? I could go on and on. I wish those of you out there with a voice would really start to think about how you speak and write. Everyone is listening and reading, hanging on your every word. You are setting an example, whether you want to or not. My husband has attended blogging conferences and told me this very subject has been brought up and discussed...all about capturing the genuine voice, etc. I am all for that! Perhaps I am just too old fashioned, but why be lazy? Why does the voice have to be grammatically incorrect to be genuine? What is happening to our language? It is like nails on a chalk board when I hear or read poor grammar. I have been warned that I will get skewered for writing this. Oh well! Other than your grammar issues, you have great insight and it is easy to understand why you have a loyal following. I thought so much of what you wrote was right on the money. I plan to share your thoughts with my 15 year old daughter. People need to know how to have a conversation and not just talk about themselves. I do have a bone to pick though.

Here you are, a writer – with a recent compliment even – and, I assume, a college degree, yet you have grammar issues. Like so many other writers of a certain age (although I have no earthly idea how old you are) you use the word myself when you should use the word I or me. For example, you wrote “I know you may not be funny or try to deliver hilarious lines like myself.” Like MYSELF do???? Also you wrote, “Regardless, being funny helps and if you have no skills like myself go research jokes online.” There’s that word myself again. Weren’t you taught correct grammar in your school or by your parents?

I am sure I sound like some bitchy old hag, but truth is I am only 43…not that old. I am raising three children. I want them to have the ability to express themselves intelligently. How hard is it to use I instead of myself? How hard is it to put yourself last when listing a group of people which includes yourself? I could go on and on. I wish those of you out there with a voice would really start to think about how you speak and write. Everyone is listening and reading, hanging on your every word. You are setting an example, whether you want to or not.

My husband has attended blogging conferences and told me this very subject has been brought up and discussed…all about capturing the genuine voice, etc. I am all for that! Perhaps I am just too old fashioned, but why be lazy? Why does the voice have to be grammatically incorrect to be genuine? What is happening to our language? It is like nails on a chalk board when I hear or read poor grammar. I have been warned that I will get skewered for writing this. Oh well!

Other than your grammar issues, you have great insight and it is easy to understand why you have a loyal following.

]]> By: Smart By Design http://okdork.com/2006/07/06/the-guide-to-avoiding-small-talk-2/comment-page-1/#comment-5442 Smart By Design Sun, 09 Jul 2006 18:58:03 +0000 http://okdork.com/2006/07/06/the-guide-to-avoiding-small-talk-2/#comment-5442 <strong>Making Big Small Talk...</strong> I'm an introvert, shy by nature, and have suffered years of social awkwardness. I'm now relatively comfortable in social settings meeting new people, but still get a bit nervous before going to a party with lots of unfamiliar faces or... Making Big Small Talk…

I’m an introvert, shy by nature, and have suffered years of social awkwardness. I’m now relatively comfortable in social settings meeting new people, but still get a bit nervous before going to a party with lots of unfamiliar faces or…

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