Category: Humor, Personal

The Anti-Resume

As most people know, resumes are generally full of fluff. They always need to be taken with a grain of thought. Some random day awhile ago I was thinking of the anti-resume. This is only half-serious idea. The idea is to put all the things you are not and the things you have failed at. Here would be some of mine:

Objective

To find a job where I can get a high salary, significant equity stake and be able to browse the internet the majority of the day.

Experience

Interviewed with Google Jan 04 - May 04

Associated Product Marketing Manager: Interviewed 6 rounds with over 15 different people. Was given a verbal offer which later became retracted. Used their awesome electric toilet multiple times and drank many free Naked Juices.
Picblitz.com Dec 05

Creator: Worked on this site for a month or so with a friend. Idea was to have identity based advertising. People pay for ads based on the look of the person who should generally be buying their product. Failed because was very focused on Facebook work.

Education

UC Berkeley, Computer Science drop out after 1.5 years. Realized I should do business and boss around the code monkeys=P

Bessemer Venture Partners did something similar, called anti-portoflio. Great call to show all the companies they missed, makes them seem more cool and approachable. Should I be submitting my anti-resume around now that I am underemployed:)

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7 Responses to “The Anti-Resume”

  • Adam
    July 1st, 2006
    5:14 pm

    Haha, that’s great. Everyone’s rez should read like that.

  • Derek Punsalan
    July 1st, 2006
    11:01 pm

    Can you create a job for me that will allow me to live out my similar objective to the one stated above?

  • David X
    July 4th, 2006
    6:34 pm

    I love this post. I wish I can vent and put all my stuff too and see everyone’s elses.

  • iBjorn » Blog Archive » Ever seen VCs proud of their gross oversights?
    July 5th, 2006
    3:26 am

    [...] VCs love to list their portfolio companies as shining badges of honor, but how many dare to show off their closets of mistakes, oversights and horrendous ill judgment that led them to pass over great startups that went on to become mega-hits at Wall Street? Thanks to Noah for sifting through the web uncovering this gem of quirkiness from BVP. [...]

  • » Ever seen VCs proud of their gross oversights? - Singapore Entrepreneurs - Entrepreneurship in Singapore
    July 5th, 2006
    8:16 am

    [...] VCs love to list their portfolio companies as shining badges of honor, but how many dare to show off their closets of mistakes, oversights and horrendous ill judgment that led them to pass over great startups that went on to become mega-hits at Wall Street? Thanks to Noah for sifting through the web uncovering this gem of quirkiness from BVP. [...]

  • Paul
    July 6th, 2006
    2:15 pm

    Dude - I did that same interview for the APMM in May 05. Had a ridiculous amount of rounds and met nearly a dozen people before they gave me the thumbs down. At least I took my gallon’s worth of Naked Fruit Juices as a consolation prize.

  • 5 reasons for embracing failure
    August 7th, 2006
    8:13 pm

    [...] are not. By Eric Allam Subscribe to comments: RSS 2.0 Please leave a Comment or discuss via Trackback! Please Leave aComment! [...]

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