As most people know, resumes are generally full of fluff. They always need to be taken with a grain of thought. Some random day awhile ago I was thinking of the anti-resume. This is only half-serious idea. The idea is to put all the things you are not and the things you have failed at. Here would be some of mine:
To find a job where I can get a high salary, significant equity stake and be able to browse the internet the majority of the day.
Interviewed with Google Jan 04 – May 04
Associated Product Marketing Manager: Interviewed 6 rounds with over 15 different people. Was given a verbal offer which later became retracted. Used their awesome electric toilet multiple times and drank many free Naked Juices.
Picblitz.com Dec 05
Creator: Worked on this site for a month or so with a friend. Idea was to have identity based advertising. People pay for ads based on the look of the person who should generally be buying their product. Failed because was very focused on Facebook work.
UC Berkeley, Computer Science drop out after 1.5 years. Realized I should do business and boss around the code monkeys=P
Bessemer Venture Partners did something similar, called anti-portoflio. Great call to show all the companies they missed, makes them seem more cool and approachable. Should I be submitting my anti-resume around now that I am underemployed:)