Category: Humor

Funny Friday Business Quips

These are just some thoughts I had lately about business that didn’t make sense…

1- How long can a grand opening last? A few restaurants in my hood have had their sign out for a year.

2- Why do gas stations sell alcohol? Isn’t drinking and driving illegal?

3- A lot of restaurants claim to be #1: Pho #1, Original Joes, First Commercial Bank & etc… Who was really first?

4- Why do voicemails always tell you to leave a message after the beep? Can’t they realize we know that by now.

5- Why do women and a few men pay more for jeans with holes than new looking jeans? Shouldn’t you pay less if they look worn and have holes?

Have a great weekend. I am in LA if anyone wants to meet up. Email me.

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7 Responses to “Funny Friday Business Quips”

  • Kira
    June 16th, 2006
    12:13 pm

    I’m originally from PA where liquor can only be sold at state stores, so I thought the exact same thing (number 2) when I moved to Ohio for college. I was thinking, wtf, are they trying to INCREASE the number of DUIs?

    Also in Ohio, you can’t buy those little shooter bottles because there is actually a minimum amount of alcohol they can sell you at one time, which makes no sense. Shouldn’t you encourage the people who want to pay through the nose for a half a shot bottle?

  • Noah Winecoff
    June 16th, 2006
    12:16 pm

    Ha!…I love it. Especially #2 and #5.

  • Paul McEnany
    June 16th, 2006
    2:39 pm

    Grand Openings and Anniversaries and the like are all bullshit. It’s just another reason to have a sale. It might as well be Father’s Day. It’s all the same.

  • Charlie
    June 16th, 2006
    3:40 pm

    re: #1. My favorite Chinese restaurant in Pittsburgh, PA had a 12th anniversary celebration that lasted over a year. I’m still trying to get my head around that one.

  • Gabe Rosen
    June 16th, 2006
    5:06 pm

    Original Joe’s is great, though. I went there in October for the first time in years and was a little iffy on the prices, but it was worth every cent. And the omniscient wait staff is pretty cool. A San Jose classic.

    My personal favorite is when a place claims to be “famous”, especially “world famous”, despite zero evidence to support that claim. I’m waiting for a restaurant to proclaim itself “notorious”, or “well-known if not universally beloved”.

    Some friends recently had a terrible meal at House of Nanking. If I were Bill Gates, I would buy the place next door and re-open it as Home of Nanking.

  • Devin
    June 17th, 2006
    8:04 am

    #2 They’re really convenience stores, right? ;-)

    #4 I definitely agree. By my calculations I’ve spent roughly six hours of my life (based on a few voicemails a day for the last 5 years) listening to someone say something along those lines.

    #5 It takes a look of work to make jeans and then turn around a dis-assemble them. Hand made by children… and destroyed by them too!

  • Derek Punsalan
    June 17th, 2006
    11:10 am

    I like restaurants that play off the “The original Philly Cheesesteak Sandwich”. For gods sake, I’m no food historian, but I’m pretty damn sure the Philly sandwhich you’re selling on the corner of 4th & Pike (Seattle) is not an “original”. Come on now! We’re not even in Philly.

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