Business Terminology is Stupid

October 28, 2005 - Get free updates of new posts here

How many times in meetings have you heard new tech or business lingo and you have no clue about the meaning? Just because you use crazy, usually made-up, and abbreviated words doesn’t make you any better or “cooler” of an employee. I just wanted to encourage people to use basic and simple words, to make my life and theirs a bit easier.


Here are a few of the keywords you should avoid:

Proactive

In office-lingo-world, hereby abbreviated to OLW (see how annoying it is), this refers to acting in advance to bypass a difficulty. People, just say you’re going to work ahead or act in advance, it’s really not any harder.

Synergy

OLW designates this as working togethor so that the combined effect is greater than the individual results. Again, “Hey let’s work togethor on this one!” works much better.

Web 2.0

OLW never thought of having the decent courtesy of realizing that those “web-illiterate” of us don’t have any idea what web 2.0 is. If you want to refer to web 2.0 at least give a brief pre-cursor as to what it entails i.e. blogging, user generated content, etc.

Google

The word google has been assigned the meaning “to search for”.

“Let’s google that.”

You guys, Google is a company, NOT a verb; sure it’s a search engine, but let’s not get technical here, that’s exactly what we’re trying to avoid.

Bandwidth

In OLW this does not mean the designated amount of data one is able to send through a communications channel, rather it is referred to as the work load of an individual;

“Let’s assess the team’s bandwidth.”

Stop the insanity, let’s not make new meanings for words alright?

CYA and CLM

CYA is the abbreviation for “Cover Your Ass”, meaning taking acion to ensure you won’t get blamed for something. CLM is the abbreviation for “Career-Limiting Move”, obviously referring to an ill-advised career move. If these abbreviations are heard in conversation, a sock in the face is in order.

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3 responses to “Business Terminology is Stupid

  1. Andrew Reply

    Ha ha, yes! I hate it when people use buzz words to sound knowledgeable. I think my two least favorite are “Rich Media” and “Turn Key.” Oh, and when people misuse “AI” all over the place. Just because an engine “learns” (i.e. categorizes terms and uses some basic statistical analysis), it’s not artifical intelligence.

  2. Cap Reply

    hmm I could have sworn I made a comment but I guess i closed the browser before it posted.

    but yeah I hate synergy with a passion..

    and I didn’t even realized we left Web 1.0 and we’re now in Web 2.0